To think that this advert for an live in au pair is grossly underpaid?

[salsmum]

I was just browsing on a job site and this advert came to my attention, AIBU to think that this is asking an awful lot of a potential au pair for £80 a week? and I thought carers were underpaid!.

This is true. Parents are liable for the decisions they make about who to leave their child with when it comes to babysitters. I expect that includes au pairs, who unlike most nannies won't have training in childcare or first aid, or professional insurance.

I was bloody awful as an 18yo au pair.

I was an absolute idiot. I was pretty good with my charge I think, but on one occasion I took her to see my (possibly quite dodgy - I wouldn't have known) boyfriend and totally failed to see why Madame might have had an issue with this.

I don't think I put my charge in harms way but my naiveté was pretty dangerous.

If you think 20 year old European au pairs are badly paid then you should check out how much poor Filipino cleaners and helpers are paid. Peanuts. And they often have to leave their young children in the Philipines while they work in the UK for years, sending most of the money back to their family. It makes me really sad.

Ophelia, you can't get a Filipino cleaner in the London Suburb where I live for less than £10 an hour. The same as for any nationality of cleaner. Don't assume just because they are from th Philippines that they do not know the market rate.

I will never understand why linking from one public website to another is frowned upon. These people are obviously comfortable enough in what they're doing so why worry about links being posted on here. I think this is exactly the sort of issue mumsnet should be about addressing and am really disappointed by the deletions to the ads.

Well unless there's an element of truth in mutt's post?

There may very well not be but the deleting does create that inference, which is a shame.

Sadly no longer available on 4OD, but I'll share anyway (am I allowed to post a link to a television programme? They did agree to have it made, and I haven't seen it so I'm not being judgy)

www.channel4.com/programmes/meet-the-au-pairs

I don't think it's necessarily the links to the people which are the problem.

I think it's the subsequent comments, which may have been seen as 'personal attacks'. If MNHQ had deleted these posts (instead of the ones they did) there wouldn't be much of the thread left.

I do actually agree though that these people were asking way, way too much. And I personally hated the 'you must be in your room or out' comment. Absolutely horrible.

'you must be in your room or out' comment. Absolutely horrible.
ExcuseTypos, I completely agree. Imagine how that would feel to be a young, scared, non- English speaking foreign girl? No TV as you won't understand it and surely there's only so much hunching over a laptop/computer screen anyone wants to do? There is no way I could expect someone else to do my job just as well, (scratch that actually I only do my own cleaning in once or twice weekly big bursts) care for my offspring and then banish them to their room. I hate company in the evenings and love bedtime for the kids as dh also chooses this time to do his work either in the other room or upstairs. Even so I would not expect anyone to sit in their room just to give me space. I let them into my home and expect the world for £80? Measly. I'd at least offer a brew, biccies and maybe the odd glass of wine. If they wanted to go to their room for privacy, a rest or to study then thats different but to actually expect them to do so? Demeaning and cruel.

Mutt - I wondered that too. Or rather whether there was a more general acceptance of this kind of arrangement. And Gobbolino, you're absolutely right, it is all fair comment. The only reason I can see for the deletions is that this people have been hounded by a baying Mumsnet mob, but for want of any explanation Kanobe put it better than me.

I think this is exactly the sort of issue mumsnet should be about addressing and am really disappointed by the deletions to the ads.

I also think the "in your room or out" comment is potentially making a vulnerable young woman in a foreign country even more vulnerable.

You're not going to want to sit imprisoned in your room for the majority of the time and presumably won't have enough money or available company to be out safely for it either.

Grrrrrrrr!!!!!

I worked as an au pair in the early nineties and was paid £40 a week. I knew I was in trouble when they sacked the cleaner in my first week. I was NOT an au pair. It was a seven bedroom house with a library, billiard room, archery court and various other rooms. I was expected to clean them all. The parents did no cleaning whatsoever.

I was also a full time nanny to a fourteen month old and part time nanny to a ten year who came for weekends, cook, laundress, dog walker you name it I did it. I cooked dinner parties for fourteen people having been up from 7am and regularly got to bed after midnight having done all the clearing up afterwards.

I got no fancy holidays abroad, actually I got one week off in the year I was there. If I had a day off the parents would usually ask me to take the child out for a couple of hours if he was playing up.

I got soooo stressed out but I stuck it out for my year. What a bloody mug I was!

They want an "off" switch really, don't they? Just switch her off when she's not needed

Red What twats.

My friend was an au-pair for an alcoholic pair of lawyers in the states. Things got so bad that her wages were paid by the lady's parents and she did the shopping using food stamps. The man was abusive to his wife and would make sexual advances to my friend. Eventually the wife kicked the husband out, went to AA and turned her life around. Her parents (also lawyers kickstarted her career as a very successful divorce lawyer who now has her own company with a staff of over 300) She told my friend that if it wasn't for her things would be much worse and she owes her a lot for not deserting the family when things hit rock bottom. She stayed with the family (minus abusive man) for 5 years which was much longer than she intended. Things were going so well and she became so ingratiated that the neighbours presumed they'd become a lesbian couple :o. When my friend eventually left her boss gave her a $5000 bonus and paid for her to fly back to the UK first class. Whenever my friend fancies a holiday she can go to the states and stay with her ex boss for the price of her plane tickets.

Where are all the links! I was saving this thread until this evening! grrrr

Thanks

They were deleted for breaking talk guidelines vivi.

They were links to ads on the gum tree website. People advertising in Wandsworth, Chelsea, Hammersmith.
amongst other places on London.

Apparently not allowed to link to ads on public websites