Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think that this advert for an live in au pair is grossly underpaid?

318 replies

salsmum · 28/05/2013 13:01

I was just browsing on a job site and this advert came to my attention, AIBU to think that this is asking an awful lot of a potential au pair for £80 a week? Shock and I thought carers were underpaid!.

OP posts:
Gobbolinothewitchscat · 28/05/2013 19:31

I presume quoting short excerpts is OK. Here is one from another CAPS FAN

"i AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT WISH TO TAKE ANY HOLIDAY LEAVE DURING JUNE JULY OR AUGUST" er.....ever heard of the Working Time Regulations?!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 28/05/2013 19:33

nighting - the author if your last advert must be a mumsnetter as its now deleted!

JulieMumsnet · 28/05/2013 19:36

@nightingalefloor

Oops, sorry JulieMumsnet, pressed post before I refreshed the page Blush. I won't do it again, promise.

No problem. Useful to remember in the future. Wink

ophelia275 · 28/05/2013 19:39

They are all parodies. I thought these kind of people only existed in 80s sitcoms and comedy sketches.

WeAreEternal · 28/05/2013 19:40

I had a friend that was a slave a nanny an au pair for 6 years for one family.

She worked 24 hours a day 7am to 9-10pm 7 days a week, she had to do all of the cooking and cleaning for the whole family take the older children to school and entertain the younger ones with 'educational activities' all day.
she had to get the children up, dress them, bathe them and put them to bed on an evening. If they woke in the night it was her job to get up with them, and do night feeds when they were babies.
When she wasn't needed if the parents actually wanted to spend time with their own children she was sent to her room so they could have 'family time'.
She was not allowed to watch tv with the children, she had to entertain them educationally.
The parents had a second reception room which the turned into the playroom/children's living room, the children and my friend were not allowed to use the other living room, as that was the 'family space'.
My friend was also expected to do the food shopping, and cook only fresh healthy meals and when the parent were there she was not allowed to eat with them, she had to eat her dinner in her room as they wanted family meals. She was only allowed to eat at the table if she was eating alone with the children.

For all of this work my friend was given a windowless box room with a smaller than single sized bed and no other furniture other than some shelves on the wall to put her clothes on (no other furniture would fit in the room)
She was fed but was criticised if she are too many snacks or had larger portions than the children (they made comments about her being greedy or getting fat) and she was paid £40-50 per week pocket money.

We all told her she was being treated like a slave, but she loved the children, she literally raised several of them from birth.
She only stopped working for them because they didn't like her going out on a night after the children were asleep to see her boyfriend, they told her that they were going to cut her pay because she was no longer available if the children needed her on a night, and they encouraged her to dump her boyfriend so that she would be available 24/7 for them, plus they were considering having a sixth child for her to raise when she told them she was thinking of moving in with her boyfriend they sacked her.

Several years later and my friend now owns and runs a very successful nursery, my DS went there and he loved it.

bigkidsdidit · 28/05/2013 19:46

they sound like all the mums I used to meet at Cupcake Grin going on and on at me about how they were devoting themselves to their children (I work, so was looked down upon) while, in reality, handing over care to Cupcake, the au pair, the cleaner, and the grandparents while they had manicures

I left nappy valley for Scotland and threads like this make me so glad I did!

ophelia275 · 28/05/2013 19:57

Lots of the parents in my dc school have au pairs and I must say that the rate of turnover really shocks me. One family have had at least 5 in the past year. I was shocked to find out they expected the au pair to potty train their children and put them to bed at night. Made me feel a bit sad for the kids. An au pair friend of mine said that the daughter of a family she worked for had lamented that she wished she (the au pair) was her mummy :(.

calypso2008 · 28/05/2013 19:57

Oh no!

All the threads and hilarity have been deleted Sad

calypso2008 · 28/05/2013 19:58

nightingale has been told off Shock

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 28/05/2013 20:02

calypso - I think we need to PM Grin. I'm in the middle of research re the location of the flat with its own entrance

That'll be a right waste of time if I can't post it!

Bogeyface · 28/05/2013 20:09

Yep, I need a PM please!

calypso2008 · 28/05/2013 20:09

I think we are also about to get told off gobbo

I am doing my own research here - I am going to see if the pictures etc have been taken down from Gumtree - then we will have our answer. Grin They got the message Wink

nightingalefloor · 28/05/2013 20:09

I know calypso, I'm at my parents' this week so rather hoping they don't check my internet history Grin I'm suitably ashamed of myself, my opinion of those parents hasn't changed though!

Toughasoldboots · 28/05/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JulieMumsnet · 28/05/2013 20:16

@Gobbolinothewitchscat

calypso - I think we need to PM Grin. I'm in the middle of research re the location of the flat with its own entrance

That'll be a right waste of time if I can't post it!

Hmm
QuintessentialOldDear · 28/05/2013 20:18

he he this is hilarity of the best kind on a bank holiday Tuesday. Grin

(considering I dont have that much to laugh about, with ds1 sporting brand new crutches for half term, and our plans for fun skateboard camp is gone with the wind!)

ExcuseTypos · 28/05/2013 20:19

My neighbours used to have Au Pairs. We live rurally and despite them having a massive house, the au pair had to live in a dingy caravan in the garden.

There was a procession of young foregin girls, who usually stayed for about a month as the parents are odious twats It dodont live up to theor expectations. Those poor children had so many young girls looking after them Sad.

The even asked me if I thought my dd would like to look after their 6 and 3 year old, for the whole summer holiday. She was 14 at the time.

Oh and I forgot about the horse which also had to be fed, watered etc.

calypso2008 · 28/05/2013 20:20

I believe that was a joke by Gobbo everyone Smile it was a running theme of the thread, she is not really a stalker Shock

Ok, I think we will all back off now and have a bath and go to bed.

It was a brilliant thread though! I made some lovely new friends!
Over and Out, hasta luego.

calypso2008 · 28/05/2013 20:23

Night nightingale have a lovely time with your ma and pa. Smile

Toughasoldboots · 28/05/2013 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nightingalefloor · 28/05/2013 20:30

Oh excuse, that's awful :( Apart from anything, I'm shocked that they thought your 14 year old would want to give up her whole summer holiday to babysit. How on earth did you reply to that one?!

My next big childcare problem is likely to be October half term, I have the summer holidays sorted Grin I'll be on another block of 12 hour days from September to Christmas, so not ideal from a childcare perspective as a single mother. But I can guarantee I'll find a way around it that doesn't involve taking advantage of naive young girls. Granted I probably have it easy given DD would spend her time practicing dancing and on the trampoline at home anyway, so sending her to a camp is her idea of heaven rather than just childcare. It is, however, definitely more expensive than having an au pair would be. But I know she's being looked after properly and I know she's enjoying herself, and I'm still doing all the actual parenting myself. I can go off to work confident that she's happy and safe, how many of these parents can honestly hand on heart say that? :(

ExcuseTypos · 28/05/2013 20:41

nightingale I just told them that I thought she was too young and inexperienced to look after two young children.
I also told them she didn't have any experience with horses at all. They still tried to persuade me that she would be fine. They really didn't careSad

It must be so tough finding good childcare, I'm glad you've got the summer hols sortedSmile

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 28/05/2013 21:18

Yes - I was just joking but it is publicly available information that the advertisers have put themselves on Gumtree Hmm

Yes, yes - it has been a most excellent thread. I now have another site to browse during future night feeds!

salsmum · 29/05/2013 00:32

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this couple are asking an awful lot for not a great deal in return...it's almost like they want her to do all the housekeeping roles AND look after the children/dog but then do not see her as fit to join the family when it suits them which seems quite strange really.I spos she could go out in the warm weather but if the weather is bad she's to 'hide away' in her room Shock is this usual?.

OP posts:
TinBox · 29/05/2013 01:40

Agree with crashdoll, they want a slave.

It's despicable how little people want to - and can - get away with paying their 'staff'. To be honest, the idea that people still employ domestic staff in Britain in 2013 makes me feel mildly ill.

Oh, zonetwo, one call to her mum a week. How generous!

People working just for the roof over their heads and pin money...