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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hurt and feel like SHIT ( --fucking-- --pissing-- facebook related)

121 replies

MoodyDidIt · 26/05/2013 19:57

the other day invited my good friend (well thought she was anyway) and her dh and dcs for a bbq this evening

she said she would let me know as she was going out friday and saturday night, so, fair enough

but for one, she hasn't even bothered to let me know

and for 2, she has tagged herself at ANOTHER friends house "having a bbq and a few drinks with good friends"

obviously got a better offer then. ouch. really gutted

really upset

OP posts:
GoingUpInTheWorld · 26/05/2013 19:59

Ouch!

Some friend she is. At least you know where you stand now.

Sad
FarBetterNow · 26/05/2013 20:00

Oh that's very mean of her.

Can you put on yours something like 'having a fantastic family day in the garden'?

MrsMelons · 26/05/2013 20:00

this would upset me too - what a horrible person.

I would HAVE to say something, not very mature I know but I just couldn't keep quiet.

RiotsNotDiets · 26/05/2013 20:00

wow. Mean and stupid, sounds like you're better off without the cow.

Smartiepants79 · 26/05/2013 20:02

That's bloody rude, thoughtless and hurtful.
It's awful when you realise that a friendship is more important to you than to your 'friend'. Happened to me when I was a teenager and it broke my heart (at the time!) have never allowed myself to be that bothered again.
If I was brave then I'd add some snarky comments to the Facebook tag.
Sadly I'm not very brave....

leobear · 26/05/2013 20:03

Leave Facebook! It makes people regress to adolescence

SueDoku · 26/05/2013 20:03

Your original post is the perfect comment to add to her page - 'You obviously got a better offer then'...

DoTheBestThingsInLifeHaveFleas · 26/05/2013 20:03

Something similar happened to me, a few times and when I mentioned it, I was told I had imagined it all and should 'grow up' and not be upset about something as silly as facebook!!! So sorry I don't have any words of wisdom, but I was just as upset as you are if that brings any crumb of comfort...

LemonPeculiarJones · 26/05/2013 20:03

Ouch. I'd feel really hurt too.

Is she usually this thoughtless?

Maybe the people she's with were the same crowd she was out with the night before and they all made the arrangements then and.....and....

Nope. Still shit. If that had happened she could have explained it to you and maybe invited you along.

Sorry Sad People can really surprise you sometimes.

However, it doesn't mean she doesn't like you or value you. Just that she's a thoughtless arse.

Callofthefishwife · 26/05/2013 20:03

Photoshop someone famous you know she likes/is a fan of into a photo of your back garden/family having a BBQ. The post it on FB and say "Having a fab BBQ with fab friends".

Will make her "better offer" seem less of a better offer.

Seriously though - that must hurt. At least you now know she isnt really worth the effort and can look forward to many BBQs this summer without her company.

SoleSource · 26/05/2013 20:06

LTBitch

needaholidaynow · 26/05/2013 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nagoo · 26/05/2013 20:12

She was unreasonable not to let you know if she was coming or not, (did you remind her?) But I don't think I would be getting this upset about it. People are allowed other 'good friends'. It doesn't mean she isn't still friends with you.

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 26/05/2013 20:13

Maybe this barbeque was the plan she already had, and she can hardly invite you to someone else's house can she? She may have entirely forgotten that you invited her.

Pouncer1 · 26/05/2013 20:14

Facebook=evil
Friend=horrid
Ditch both!

Original poster
MoodyDidIt · 26/05/2013 20:14

i have known her 22 years

we were best friends up til a few years ago when we drifted a bit as our lives went in different directions

but thought we were still really great mates, obvs not in her case

really gutted

OP posts:
flanbase · 26/05/2013 20:14

Ignore this but keep it in mind for next time. She doesn't sound like a good friend

Original poster
MoodyDidIt · 26/05/2013 20:16

oh yeah i havent got a problem at all if she had different plans, thats fine and completely understandable

but clearly she didnt have these plans when i asked her, otherwise she would have said. and i would not have minded one bit

its the not even RSVP'ing then just writing all over fb what a great time she is having at other mates house :(

its just shitty

i need better mates. i mean, i REALLY do need better mates, havent really got many tbh

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 26/05/2013 20:17

I would be upset about her going someone els, but I'd get over it.

What's worse is her terrible lack of tact.

leobear · 26/05/2013 20:18

What Nagoo said. And she probably just forgot you invited her. There could be several reasons she went to the other one - people are allowed a range of friends. Worst sin scenario: didn't RSVP. Is it really worth ending a good friendship for that?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 26/05/2013 20:18

X post

Yes

I don't do FB. wouldn't want to find out people were lying to me

Pouncer1 · 26/05/2013 20:18

I haven't got many either Moody, I can count my friends on one handBlush but they are true friends that I trust! I found out who my friends were when DD had several SEN diagnosis! Sad

LemonPeculiarJones · 26/05/2013 20:19

It is shitty. Is this the only time she's been this crap?

I'd mention it the next time you see her.

ItsallisnowaFeegle · 26/05/2013 20:23

Yeah, I'd be livid. Not that she is attending some other friends BBQ but because (a) the cheeky fucker didn't have the common fucking courtesy to say she wasn't going to make it and (b) because she tagged herself elsewhere knowing you'd most likely see it.

It's shitting all over the 'friendship' IMHO.

Fuck her off, OP and invite me next time don't let the bastard get you down!

Original poster
MoodyDidIt · 26/05/2013 20:30

Not that she is attending some other friends BBQ but because (a) the cheeky fucker didn't have the common fucking courtesy to say she wasn't going to make it and (b) because she tagged herself elsewhere knowing you'd most likely see it. It's shitting all over the 'friendship' IMHO

exactly :(

OP posts: