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Original poster

To think farmers work too hard?

221 replies

Ladyflip · 25/05/2013 17:47

I am a farmer's wife. From last Saturday to yesterday my DH has worked 108 hours out of a possible 168. He is still at work now. He hasn't had a whole day without going to work since October last year. He worked 351 days out of a possible 365 last year, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year. This is standard for our life.

I get very frustrated at our lack of family life and holiday. He gets very tired and irritable. I know I am not the only farmer's wife to find rearing a family with a farming DH difficult. But I get more frustrated at people telling me how hard they work when they have no idea what real hard work is like. Yes teachers, I'm talking about you bellyaching at working 60 hours a week and having lots of holidays.

Yes I'm pissed off. It's Bank Holiday and I have barely seen my DH except to put meals in front of him. Flame away.

OP posts:
EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 17:17

Ignore them all, they're just jealous that we live in the lap of luxury that they pay for via EU subsidies!!! Grin

  1. We can shag our DH's in their workplace on hay bales !!!!
EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 17:19
  1. We can drive tractors !
  2. We can provide a substantial meal for 15 at harvest time whilst holding down a full time job
  3. We can wear Hunter's legitimately!
Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 17:21

Oh yes, perhaps I'll do no.5 later Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 17:23
  1. Your DH is a manly type who can fix anything with an adjustable spanner and some baling twine!
OP posts:
janey68 · 27/05/2013 17:30

Number 5 isn't that comfy as you'll know if you've ever tried Grin

WestmorlandSausage · 27/05/2013 17:30

Rant alert

I'm not a farmers wife but I am a farmers daughter. Mum may as well have been a single parent when me and my brothers were growing up, we barely saw my dad as he worked so hard for his parents on the promise that one day everything would be his.... yes including inheriting the mountains of debt pretty much every farm is in. Dad was pulled out of school by his dad whenever he was needed by the farm and basically has no qualifications (except a gun license and a chainsaw license) ... all you people saying he could just leave and get another job... what job exactly?

Never mind paying for farm hands Dad has never even paid himself a wage - if he did the farm wouldn't just be broke, it would be bankrupt. The family growing up lived off Mums wage, and as many have pointed out it helped that the house was mortgage free having been in the family for generations.... I don't think that amounts to a 'just' pay off though for working 18 hour days (22 hr days in lambing time) 7 days a week. I remember one christmas my Mum crying because she had dropped a £5 bottle of wine that was to be my aunty's present and she couldn't afford to buy another one, rich farmers eh?

Dad is in his 60s now and still working as hard as when he was 19, except everything takes longer because his back and his knees have gone. Neither of my brothers are interested as they see it as a mugs game and full time farming will never provide them with the standard of living the feel they should have. Both essentially work for free to help Dad out at busy times of year but both have their own 'trades' away from the farm.

Farmers are custodians of the countryside. If it wasn't for them there wouldn't be a managed and accessible countryside. I'm in awe of how easily people forget about where their food, animal or vegetable actually comes from and the work that has gone into getting it into their local TESCO.

I'm proud of being a farmer's daughter because I feel my Dad to some extent sacrificed his own lifelong health and wellbeing to look after the countryside, and put food on our and other people's tables. But it didn't half suck growing up not really seeing him, not having holidays and not ever really being able to rely on him being there because a calving cow doesn't care if its Christmas.

So there.

Rindercella · 27/05/2013 17:31

Grin at baling twine...tis farmers' solution to just about everything!

WestmorlandSausage · 27/05/2013 17:32

so all in all, I agree with Ladyflip

WestmorlandSausage · 27/05/2013 17:33

theres actually a facebook group 'A Farmer's ability to fix anything with baler twine' Grin

MrsCampbellBlack · 27/05/2013 17:44

I come from a farming family and know the majority of farmers do work very long hours and tend not to be cash-rich. However, many are asset rich.

I guess I wonder why some farming families who are trying to get a smallish farm to support several adults (you know just like the archers) Wink - well, why don't they sell up and pocket the proceeds of the many acres and farmhouse/outbuildings etc?

Is it that its just in the blood because for one family I know, its really just not financially doable any more and they would definitely be better off if they just sold up.

EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 18:22

Baling twine or iron wire, we're fancy round these parts!!

  1. One's DH is generally physically fit Wink
  2. You really appreciate those precious few days holiday
  3. You can bring up DC's with a real sense of community

janey68 comfy or not, tis always a pleasure 'n never a chore!

janey68 · 27/05/2013 18:35

Oh I agree tis always a pleasure, and with a bit of ingenuity you can find a haybarn without having to marry the farmer Wink

EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 18:40

Joking apart, i raised my 4 DS's practically single handedly until they got to an age to be able to roam/help around the farm.

My youngest is now 13 and spends most of his freetime helping.
This is his choice, no pressure.
He's the only one who has from the get go has seen farming as a "career".
It puts the fear of God into me.
I don't want any of my sons to have the life their Father has had.
I really don't think our farm is commercially viable now let alone in 10 years time.

Farming is truely in the blood as many posters have said.
It's a choice, a way of life which in my experience can be cruel and detrimental to family life.

What do you do? Ban your offspring from following a family tradition ?

I'm torn......

EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 18:43

janey68 I found a haybarn and 3 months later had to marry the farmer !
Blush

TurkeyDino · 27/05/2013 19:45

Farmer's wife here too. He puts in an 80-90 hour week at his parent's farm for a massive 210 quid a week. No holidays, no paternity leave, no sick leave. It terrifies me that my DS's may grow up and want to farm.

I had been together with DH less than 6 months when I fell pregnant and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. It is v depressing doing everything alone with the kids and I am insanely jealous of people doing even the most mundane things 'as a family'. Still, I've made my bed as they say!

Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 19:59

edvard you'll just have to hope he has an understanding wife who can either turn her hand to a career earning reasonable sums or is wealthy in her own right.

I have a DS too and try very hard to explain that farming should be an option not a pre determined career track.

Perhaps we need to start a new harvest widows thread....

  1. In my experience (not THAT wide, but wide enough) all farmers are gagging for it and go like a steam train. Grin
OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 27/05/2013 20:07

Why do people have such a problem with teachers having a holiday? If you think it's such a doddle, then become a teacher.

Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 20:12

Go and read the thread OwlinaTree.

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 27/05/2013 20:14

I'm just interested in that. So what if your teacher friends' partners have complained they work too hard. That's exactly what you have just complained about.

Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 20:23

I'm not going to defend myself about this again. This isn't a thread about teachers, and I have never said that they shouldn't have a holiday.

OP posts:
Spikeytree · 27/05/2013 21:45

I'm a teacher and I've been helping on the family farm today. Am I allowed a legitimate moan? Smile A cow squashed my toe and it hurts.

EdvardMonsterMunch · 27/05/2013 21:56

Ladyflip Yes indeed, gagging for it this end too.
Don't talk to me about the harvest.......can hardly walk!!!! (why oh why are they all like that at the busiest time of the year?!) Confused Blush

Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 21:59

Ouch, Spikey, yes, you can have a legitimate moan.

May I suggest steel toe capped wellies for when a cow next steps on your foot? Not beautiful or glamorous but effective.

OP posts:
CheckpointCharlie · 27/05/2013 22:08

Wow, that sounds very stressful OP. Any job that puts pressure on a relationship or family time is hard. It is soul destroying to see no reprieve in a job, no decent time out or a period when you will have a break.

Is it always so tough in farming? I don't know much about it.

And I am a teacher, and yes I moan A LOT about my hours, I am at work at 7.30 am, leave about 5.30 and then work from 7 till 10 every night at home. So that is 13 hours a day, 5 days a week then a few hours on a Sunday maybe, but still not as long as your DH.

And I think regardless of your job, working long hours is a nightmare.

I am on holiday this week Smile but have loads of reports to write! Angry !

I think we should stick together really, as above, working lots of hours shatters you and can have a really negative impact on your family no matter what the job. You have my sympathy and here, share my Wine!

Original poster
Ladyflip · 27/05/2013 22:18

Thanks for the wine Checkpoint!

Working long hours is a nightmare for anyone who has to do it, and it is difficult juggling that with a family. As mentioned in this thread, the relentlessness of farming is very grinding.
We can all work long hours for weeks at a time, but when there is no let up except for maybe 10 days a year, its pretty tiring for all concerned.

Do you have a family and how do you and your DH (?) cope with your long hours?

OP posts:
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