To think farmers work too hard?

[Ladyflip]

I am a farmer's wife. From last Saturday to yesterday my DH has worked 108 hours out of a possible 168. He is still at work now. He hasn't had a whole day without going to work since October last year. He worked 351 days out of a possible 365 last year, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year. This is standard for our life.

I get very frustrated at our lack of family life and holiday. He gets very tired and irritable. I know I am not the only farmer's wife to find rearing a family with a farming DH difficult. But I get more frustrated at people telling me how hard they work when they have no idea what real hard work is like. Yes teachers, I'm talking about you bellyaching at working 60 hours a week and having lots of holidays.

Yes I'm pissed off. It's Bank Holiday and I have barely seen my DH except to put meals in front of him. Flame away.

Erm... Read the thread. I didn't say farmers aren't without restrictions. I was simply pointing out that EVERYONE else is too!

Bottom line- farming is an occupation. It has upsides and downsides like any other occupation. If its so bloody awful then don't do it . (Though the ops husband loves it so hardly relevant anyway!)

I sympathise with you that your DH seems to be working too hard. I am not sure whether or not you were looking for anything more than that.

One point concerns me though that you are a salaried partner in a law firm - I am guessing High St - predominantly legal aid - and you presumably have signing rights and quite a lot of responsibility. Yet your take-home pay was less than four figures in one month? That's extraordinarily low.

You're the one with the ability to increase your earnings. Might you think about another job? If nothing else it would pay for some help while your DH takes a break.

So Janey, by your reasoning all occupations are the same, and carry the same highs and lows as all other occupations? So soldiers have comparable hardships to accountants; retail workers have comparable hardships to oil riggers?

My DH had quite a senior job in IT. We had our moans - sometimes long hours, etc., but in no way did we have a hard a life as my parents did. I sometimes feel a little sorry for myself now - widowed mother to two young children. But perspective has allowed me to see that actually some people really do have it harder. My MIL was one of those - widowed with 5 children between the ages of 4 and 9 with next to no money and no family support. Rather than sit here and think I have it just as bad as she did (I really don't), she is instead my inspiration.

Some people do have it harder than others. That is a fact, it has nothing to do with competitive hardship. The OP was complaining that her DH had just done a 108 hour week. In her shoes I would moan about that too!

You seem incredibly naive, and based on what you have written throughout this thread, I can only assume that naivety comes from the comfort of ignorance.

Yes it must be exhausting claiming all those subsidies, driving dangerously overloaded tractors at rush hour down A-roads and shagging the sheep.

You see op it isn't nice when other people make ignorant and ill informed comments about other people's jobs.

God rindercella- do you actually wilfully not read people's posts, and just formulate in your own mind what people have written!!

I have said consistently from the start that this sort of competitive whinging is pointless precisely BECAUSE all occupations carry DIFFERENT pressures. There are pros and cons to everything. And that because people are all different, you can't even assume that what is a pressure for one person is the same to another. Like I said, managing several hundred teenagers a week would be my idea of sheer hell. Which is why I'm not a teacher. I also wouldn't be keen on working outdoors in all weather- hence farming not my cuppa either.

The ops husband loves his job. It therefore seems pointless her to complain and slag off other occupations. Especially when has been pointed out: he may be the one who gets the job tied to a particular house but not so much earning potential, but she is the one with the potential to earn more and could do so, enabling him to buy in more help to create more family time. If he would be happy to do that. Sounds like he may prefer doing it himself

Ps and there's also the point I made several dozen posts back that that's not even counting the hidden pressures in jobs. Which are perhaps the worst ones of all, precisely because no one else knows about.
I'm not saying anything from a position of ignorance: precisely the opposite: i am saying because we don't all know what it's like to do every single job in the universe, what is the point of making snarky OPs like this one, slagging off other people's jobs without knowing even the basic facts about them (see upthread for ops assertion about paid holiday!)
Composhats post above shows exactly why the OP won't get much sympathy

Op's mistake was to put that snarky comment about teachers in.
She has since apologised, and if it hadn't been for that the thread would probably have gone in a totally different direction.

My DH came form a farming family and farmed for the first 10 years we were married.

It is relentless. Livestock don't stick to timetables and so you are on call 24/7. At the time, farmers had the highest incidence of suicide so I think that says something.

Luckily DH had a hobby which he managed to turn into another very successful career. It's been such a different life and I don't miss the farm one bit. Neither does DH.

Ladybeagleyes- true

And the apology only came after she realised the thread wasnt going in the direction she liked... Funny, that.

YABU as you are married to a farmer. Most of them worship money.

Oh and I HATE being stuck behind tractors on the road. Wish they would stick to the countryside [selfish]

*[selfish]= farmers driving tractors

Janey, WHAT assertion about paid holiday??? The only thing I have said about paid holiday is that I believe everyone with a job is entitled to paid leave. Please point out where I have said otherwise.

CherylTrole

Who on earth should pay the farmer to take time off? Or indeed any self employed person?! Bizarre!

Love your NN Ed!
OP could I just ask if you have ever donned your Hunters and shovelled some shite to help out your poor DH?

If farmers get paid leave then so should SAHMs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually I said on the first page of this thread that I was wrong to say anything about teachers, it has now been going for 7 pages so I don't think my apology came when I "realised the thread wasn't going in the direction I liked". It came early and sincerely.

Janey, you are right. Farmers and other self employed people don't get paid holidays. But I do think that most people who work should earn enough to take a break from it from time to time. Perhaps you would be happy with that?

You clearly have an agenda that means you are not about to back down despite several others on this thread telling you that you are wrong. I have apologised for causing offence (which you noticeably have not). You point out that there are pressures in all jobs that we don't know about. Perhaps you could take this as an opportunity to learn about some of those from the posters on this thread rather than continuing to deride them?

Your solution is that I should work longer hours to pay for my DH to have additional help on the farm. For many reasons this is not a good idea. But the main one is this. If I worked, say, an additional 20 hours to cover 20 hours of paid help, even if it worked that simplistically, my DH would still work nearly 90 hours a week. That's still more than most FT jobs. And my DC would see even less of a parent than they do now. It just doesn't seem to be a better compromise for them, does it?

And God help us if MN becomes the place where you aren't allowed to moan. Most threads would be deleted!

Course I have Cheryl. Just got back in from fetching the cows in for afternoon milking.

Ladyflip Stop keep defending yourself !

Those who have no experience of farming life (listening to The Archers does not count as being au fait!!), have no idea what we live day to day.

It's shite, i agree.

You've opened up a whole can of worms here on this thread !

Let's count our blessings...

1. We rarely see our DH (!)
2. We live in the country.
3. We breathe fresh air.
4. (can't think of anymore........feel free to add)

You're mistaken again OP- I'm not offering you a solution; it's down to you and your husband to decide how you want to run things. But from what you've told us, he loves his job so probably isn't about to make any changes.

Farmers do work too hard for the pay they get.

Until I was 21 I was a farmer. My Dad was a farmer until age 63. I was determined not to be a farmer for the rest of my life though because I knew the work was too hard and for too little pay. My Dad gave up when a cow almost killed him.

The last job I ever did on a farm was planting 60 acres of winter wheat in one day on my own. I got off the tractor and two week later was sat on a trading desk in the City of London earning many times what my Dad paid me - although the hours were similar and mostly sitting down and often quite boring.

Funny thing was I met a taxi driver in London and he told me he used to be a farm worker and driving a taxi to him was just the same as driving a tractor.

Well done OP some wimmin would be afraid to help out.
Ed the only experience I have of farming is The Archers actually Oh and DungDale/Emmerdale...

The thing about what constitutes a difficult or stressful job is difficult to quantify though isn't it morebeta?

I've come across quite a few people who tell me they could never do my job. Not because its physically dangerous or physically tiring , but because it involves regular presentations to large audiences. It's their idea or hell and they would hate it. Now, I find that hard to relate to because its not something which is a pressure to me. But then I would no doubt find their jobs stressful or difficult. Likewise, I'm sure the thought of being a city trader would be dreadful to some people.

Edvard I'm under relentless attack

1. Lots of fresh milk?

Perhaps we could ask Janey, as she seems to think the hours are a trade off for our fabulous lifestyle.

Janey, you said but she is the one with the potential to earn more and could do so, enabling him to buy in more help to create more family time. Sounds like you're offering solutions to me. I'm telling you why it doesn't work quite as easily as you make it sound.