To think farmers work too hard?

[Ladyflip]

I am a farmer's wife. From last Saturday to yesterday my DH has worked 108 hours out of a possible 168. He is still at work now. He hasn't had a whole day without going to work since October last year. He worked 351 days out of a possible 365 last year, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year. This is standard for our life.

I get very frustrated at our lack of family life and holiday. He gets very tired and irritable. I know I am not the only farmer's wife to find rearing a family with a farming DH difficult. But I get more frustrated at people telling me how hard they work when they have no idea what real hard work is like. Yes teachers, I'm talking about you bellyaching at working 60 hours a week and having lots of holidays.

Yes I'm pissed off. It's Bank Holiday and I have barely seen my DH except to put meals in front of him. Flame away.

Yes, farmers work long and erratic hours, they love a good moan about anything but the weather most of all. Or supermarkets. I think mine is living in the cowshed this week as we are calving and he works every day of the year including Christmas and New Year. He sometimes comes back to sleep.

We cannot take on extra workers so dh and I work together. Ds is old enough for school now and God bless the teachers for giving him an education where I failed miserably with home ed.

I won't trot out the old chestnut "It's a way of life" but just did but through time, you all adapt and get used to it.
You will see enough of your dh when he retires. Keep hold of that thought...

if your dh is putting in those kinds of hours, obviously your family life is suffering but I don't know if there is an answer to it. Very hard for you, him and the dc.

My dd has always feltcdrawn to farming, she thinks it is the ideal life but I have told her farmers work incredibly hard, very long hours. Diseases amongst livestock, bad weather , you can be a step away from disaster a lot of themtime.

A shoe.
I'm not moaning about my pay. But my pay packet last month was less than 4 figures. Not the king's ransom you assume that I receive.
How much do you earn?

Hey, gentle, don't say you failed.

Sorry, I don't know your circumstances with your DS but that seems an unnecessarily harsh thing to say about yourself, especially when you're working so hard.

Aaahh but I sacrifice the oodles of money I could make king to be a sahm-its have its benefits and pitfalls as any other choice has.

And I never disputed that the ops dh didn't work long hours-Im sure he does. My own dh works from 6am to 8pm or later mon-fri and also has to work at weekends. But he is not earning a fortune for it and I can bet we not living the same kind of lifestyle the op and her dh are so I think I shall save my sympathy for those who have to work shit long hours but also take home shit money for it.

What percentage of the profit do you take home each year lady?-I have also worked for a law firm and have never met a partner who didn't get decent bonuses?

I'm not an equity partner. All the responsibility with none of the benefits. Meet the one who doesn't get decent bonuses. Mine was £100 last year.

You have no idea what my lifestyle is. So please refrain from commenting. Put it this way, we couldn't afford for me to be a SAHM like you.

I have a stressful job with long hours for reasonable pay but not enough to make it feel worthwhile. I'd hate to be a farmer. It's physically demanding, you have the stress of running a business and it's relentless. The farmers I know might be asset rich, but they all seem cash poor. I accept there will be rich ones, but I'm not sure it's the norm.

I wouldn't envy the OP for her job either, if her firm does legal aid I expect it's a shit job getting shitter.

If anyone knows an easy lucrative and rewarding job, do tell!

I presume-perhaps wrongly-that as the op is a partner in a law firm she must be earning a fair whack. As I said I have worked in the legal profession and I have never met a partner who earned less than 60 grand a year-and many who were on a lot more than that.

Op would have got a lot fairer responses on here if she hadn't decided to be arsey about teachers-who imo work a lot harder than lawyers!

I cant afford not to be a sahm as we cant afford childcare for 3 dcs. I bet your dh makes more in a year than my dh does though-care to share?

I said in my opinion king-so no actually you may not disabuse me of the notion.

Where did I mention misery king?-I merely replied in kind to a comment made by the op about me being a sahm.

I hope your situation improves-living on benefits must be a worrying time a the moment. All the best.

!

LRD, thanks x

There are helplines for farming families and I will looks some up. Is your dh a member of a machinery ring? They are worth joining as they can offer help in the way of an extra worker, contractors to do silage, bailing etc and that can give your dh some time with you. They are not too expensive -

It is worth looking in the Farmer's Weekly or shouting on twitter for an ag student who is looking for experience.

It is impossible to try and set a date or time together as something always crops up , cattle escape, sheep run away, bits fall off tractor... plus farmers seem to like falling asleep when they are not working.

I am shocked that you are cutting silage. Our grass has only started to grow in the last couple of weeks.

Bloody hell......some farmers work for a pittance, fact.
Some farmers work very long hours, fact.
Some farmers would rather be paid a decent price for cereals than rely on subsidies, fact.
All farmers choose to do their job.
Nobody made my DH do his job, he just kind of fell into it.

It's tough and sometimes we (as wives and mothers) feel it's unfair.
Let's stop comparing ourselves to others and just get on with it warts and all.

Sorry if i sound harsh but i'm sick to the back teeth of hearing nowt but complaining in the farming community.

If i didn't earn a decent wage then we'd be stuffed.
Fortunately i can support (at nearly 80%) the family.
If you can't afford to live then get yourself down to the jobcentre and find a job that pays.

Farming, in my opinion , is an expensive hobby. (DH doesn't agree....it's in his blood! Christ on a bike! He's an educated man with other possibilities!)

My DH and I are from farming families. We don't farm as such but have a very closely related business. Farming is relentless, not helped by the incredibly wet summers we have had in the past few years.

It's not as easy as just hiring more staff. Good farm labourers cost a lot of money. Relatives who know what they are doing are nearly always rushed off their feet at the same times as you.

It's a bit rude to continually ask the OP about her salary/profit share. She's not complaining about the money. She wants to see more of her husband.

Yes it is rude to keep asking me.

Perhaps you would like to share your DH's salary Ashoe?

An ag student would be a good idea. As I said, its been a bad week with an ill relief and the herdsman on holiday.

Agree that it is not as easy as hiring more staff but the OP wants to spend more time with her dh and it might be the only way to get a break from the farm if there are no relatives to help. Neighbouring farmers will be working flat out just now.

Ladyflip, are there any other farmer's wives nearby who you could speak to? Perhaps they might have some solutions how you and dh can spend some time together.

Ashoething I have never heard anything so ridiculous. Yes there are wealthy farmers but far far more who barely scrape by on the poverty line - on top of working incredibly long hours in all weathers.

To day there is no such thing as a poor farmer is lazy, ignorant and downright ill informed. I work in this industry BTW (not farming directly) and the grinding poverty I've seen in some farming families would genuinely shock you.

This is a different issue to that which the OP raised (and equally as serious) but I refuse to let it go by.

I would (politely) suggest that you wouldn't last a week on a working family farm