to make a scene on the train

[photographerlady]

I didn't but AIBU to just throw my hands up and really just make a scene next time. I commute over an hour to London on the train. In my third trimester of pregnancy I applied for upgrade for Mums to Be on southwest trains. Have the pass now to sit in first class if the train is full.

The past month I've sat in first class. I am slower now and especially after work when huffing my way to catch the train after quitting time I get on with only 5 minutes to spare. About five coaches down its first class (ten coach train) and its rammed so I get on and sit in FC as those first five coaches have no seats.

Today the ticket checker came to our carriage when we was moving she checked my pass and said that there were seats on this train I have to leave first class. I was more shocked but then she preceded to tell me that she could revoke my pass and I have to move now. So at 33 weeks I walked down two carriages on the moving train til I found a seat.

Now I am working til 35/36 weeks but after thinking about today AIBU to just say "No" next time that I am not moving and take it from there. I mean they can remove me from the train or say I am causing a scene but tbh I feel as though its not worth the strain and cramps in my stomach to hustle down the platform or weave through carriages to make sure all seats are taken before I go back to the pretty empty first class section.

I suspect the PR people would point out that they provide the pass out of courtesy, and that standard class seats were available. Hard to see the problem to be honest.

I agree it would be stupid to ask people to move if standard class was full - in this instance it wasn't.

As I say, I think people have taken exception because OP was being a bit cheeky according to T and Cs, but thought she might have been justified in making a scene, which to some makes her sound a bit silly.

Wow. Almost 300 responses to a hypothetical unreasonableness.

YABU (hypothetically)

Seriously, is the OP supposed to walk through every single carriage of a very busy train to find a seat before she can use her pass? Does she then have to get up at every stop and stalk the busy train for a seat before using her pass for the next stage of the journey? Because that's what you're all proposing.

I've been on a train and had to carry a 11 year old visibly disabled child because nobody would give up a seat people I asked just totally blanked us.

It took 45 mins for a guard to turn up and make someone move.

People often won't give up seats.

I also find the amount of surgestions that she should give up work a bit shocking. If she can still do her job has not had a pregnancy related sickness that prevents her from attending work and wishes to remain working she can work until her due date. Plenty of people who struggle to walk or balance are able to work.

No we're not. We're proposing that when she's asked to move because there are empty seats, she doesn't react like its unfair or something to throw a tantrum over. The ticket checker knew there were empty seats at that time, so the OP just needed to ask her where. No stalking up and down required

Well I don't see why she shouldn't check carriages.

But, if she doesn't-then she might get moved.

I'm sure she isn't expected to recheck at every station-why would anyone think that??!!

Because a seat might become available on another carriage while she's sitting in first, and how would she know about it unless she is told? And the ticket inspector telling her to move mid-way through the journey because there's an empty seat she wasn't aware of seems petty, picky and unnecessary.

Agree with Unami

Some mean comments on this thread.

Pregnancy isn't an illness winds me up, to be honest it is has been an illness for me, just one with a predictable end date. Vomiting, nausea, pain, headaches, weight loss and fatigue. I was skipping around post birth though!

I commute in to London on a different train line. I get on at the last stop before Euston, I stand in first class quite frequently as there are no seats and there is more space to stand in there. Lots of people with SC tickets are on there (I'm pretty certain) as inspectors simply can't get through any carriages to check tickets as its too packed.

I wear a 'baby in board' badge but have only ever been offered a seat on the tube never on the mainline train. And as for the 'arrive earlier' suggestion I frequently stand by the departure boards in Euston waiting for the platform to be announced, only minutes before the train leaves, then when it is there is a huge rush to get there. If you are slower than the crowd then you might be lucky enough to get on the train but no chance if a seat.

It's a system, yes, but it is a mean-minded and petty system.

Far better to just make all seats standard accommodation during rush hour, just as south west trains used to do. Then guards can ensure all those who need a seat get one, instead of making them walk down a moving train.

The idea that first class seats are so covetable that you need a special pass, when in reality the only difference is 6" more legroom and a paper headrest cover is laughable. They are just seats- seats which nobody but the heavily pregnant woman sitting in one needed.

What's mean minded & petty about ensuring a pregnant woman can get a seat?

If all seats are standard-how does that help-she's back to relying on someone to give up a seat for her!

Actually the pass could be seen as a reasonable adjustment on equality grounds, given that only women can be pg etc.

In another society we would be ruddy well rolling out a red carpet. It's only in the UK we seem to be so small minded, petty and genuinely mean.

Surely it is just a question of PFP. Pregnant person receives much looked for perk of pregnancy. They get used to going in first class every day even if it is likely that sometimes at least seats are available further down the train. Most ticket people let it go. One is a bit jobsworthy and reminds OP of terms and conditions of pass. OP is miffed as she had come to see seat in FC as a right. She doesn't have a tantrum but feels she would be justified in doing so. She is wrong.

As for pregnancy being an illness it isn't and if you are too ill to commute then start mat leave. That is what it is there for. Hypothetically and actually.

Ha! I would have had to start maternity leave at about 10 weeks if that was the policy! As it was I was signed off sick for a few weeks, most of which I spent in hospital but had to go back to work afterwards.

tethersend either you are utterly clueless about how businesses work, or you're being deliberately obtuse.

First Class is a marketable product. It doesn't matter how petty or pointless it seems to you because value is subjective not objective. All that matters for the company is that customers are willing to pay more to sit there.

Letting people use FC when they haven't paid for it (not talking about OP with her valid special pass) simply devalues the product and results in even less people paying to use it in future.

It's the same for any product a company is trying to sell. I used to work for a company who produced expensive, branded products and also unbranded and supermarket own-brand products.

Some of the own-brand products cost more to produce than our well known, higher quality brands due to commodity prices. We could have used the same materials to make both and saved some money or we could have made the same profit per unit on each but would have had to charge more for the 'cheaper' brand. If we put the higher quality but cheaper materials into the own-brand product, very quickly consumers would catch on and we wouldn't be able to sell the premium stuff. Alternatively the premium brand unit price could be reduced to reflect it's cheaper production cost but that would result in loss of market share in the own-brand sector.

There is no way to get around the fact that if you have a product or service which has a high subjective value, it has to be differentiated from the standard offering, even if producing or providing it costs more than giving away the better materials/service.

That's why the train companies don't want people with SC tickets sat in FC if it can be helped.

In the European country I live in, you can apply for a similar pass when pregnant, but it does not require the train to be full. You can sit there directly. First class is not heaving with pregnant women. it is still generally half empty. I really can't see the problem with letting pregnant women enjoy a little bit of extra comfort if they feel they need it and have made the effort to get the pass on that basis.

tethersend is not being utterly clueless, or obtuse. Her post suggests that she understands perfectly well how the system works, but disagrees with it. Moreover, even if she didn't disagree with it, she's right how petty people are to be annoyed with the OP for 'trying it on' - as if the OP was getting a three course meal and a back rub she didn't pay for. The differentiation between first class and standard is laughable.

I disagree with it too. And no, it's not the same "for any product a company is trying to sell" because a train journey is not a fungible good.

It's 2013, and first class travel on commuter networks looks completely anachronistic. Train companies should be focused on providing the best possible service at a reasonable price for all their customers.

Unami. Please read through all the comments on this thread, not all (mine included have been unsupportive. Your words should have been some of you are proposing not all of you are proposing. xx

Janey etc- it isn't clear at all whether the OP was asked to move between the first and second stations (in which case she sat there without checking the entire train) or whether it was later in the journey after seats had been emptied.

If it was later, my point and others re constantly checking the seating situation is valid, but yes, assumptions both sides.

OP was being a bit cheeky according to T and Cs

But again, what exactly are the T & Cs? Unless it says "we can turf you out of 1st class if a standard class seat becomes available later" then I think the OP is on solid ground.

It doesn't have to be fungible, Unami. There is a choice of differentiated services provided by the same company, on the same train.

What is irrelevant is the fundamental differentiation between the two services; if consumers put a subjective value on the more expensive service, it doesn't matter if the only difference between FC and SC is the colour of the floor coverings.

12 pages on this !

She was a jobsworth. Next time say there weren't any seats when you got on , and you can't see where in the T&Cs it says you have to keep checking. Being a bit PA myself I would say, is it ok if you take up two seats in standard class as they are too small to fit on and you can't get to the toilet in standard so does she have a waterproof seat cover because the aisles are full (assuming this is the case) so she has a think about getting some empathy herself (I was 16 stone when I was pg, hated the train even when some poor soul gave up their seat, especially by the window as I didn't fit)

YABU as it sounds like you're not checking at all though, just assuming the first 5 are full.

Shelly, it doesn't have to be fungible to be differentiated, no, but the fact that it's not fungible is a valid reason for people to object to a differentiated service, if they don't feel it is appropriate.

I'm lost now. Is this a thread about mushrooms?

please. wot is fungible?