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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone on here actually think that reins on children are the work of the devil?

183 replies

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 24/05/2013 16:53

If so, why? I'm genuinely curious.

Also, so far as I know there hasn't been a bunfight about this yet, so potentially a good Friday topic Grin

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 24/05/2013 19:15

I don't like reins. I'm in the minority. I just don't like them. I don't judge people for using them as I understand how logically useful they are and on a completely objective level, accept they're a marvellous invention. I just don't like them.

I have a the little life backpack though. I swore I'd never get one but ds was running at 9 months and is a bloody menace and we live on a busy road. I cringe the whole time I'm using them. It's ridiculous I know.

Actually (thinking as I type here), I think it's part of having been born in the wrong century. I want to live in a world with no cars. DD was raised on a farm in the middle of nowhere until she was 3 and a half and was free to roam. I think that's my problem with them actually. The busy, frantic, risky world which makes them necessary. I'd rather live on an island with some pigs and a couple of friendly locals and fields and

loveinthemist · 24/05/2013 19:22

I have used them in the past and I'll tell you why...

I've got 4DC and there is only 15 months between DS1 and DD twins so life was quite hectic in the early days especially when we were out and about.

We walked to the park most days and for a time I used reins on the twins as it's very hard trying to keep hold of 3 feisty toddlers! I only have one pair of hands and at the time we were living in a densely populated inner city so lots of traffic about. I never felt like I was treating them like dogs on a lead (weird thought) but their safety was paramount and this reassured me that one of them wouldn't suddenly bolt off into the road.

The worse thing with reins was that they'd often get tangled up so I was glad to stop using them in the end. To be honest I'd much rather hold their hands but it wasn't always practical.

Anyway they're all growing up into fine, independent young people (DS1 is 10, DD twins are 9) so I don't think any damage was done! I think some people really do worry too much about these things.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 24/05/2013 19:24

When people tell me how bad reins are (normally people who don't have children, oddly enough Grin ), I tell them of my two autistic children born 15 months apart, both runners. Neither with any sense of danger and one mother to keep hold of both of them. And I invite them to tell me how one person keeps two toddlers safe when they throw themselves to the floor or wrench their hand from yours and run off and won't stop when you yell for them. I ask them if one ran off, should I have abandoned the other one to run after them and have that one step in front of a car, or should I have let the one who's bolted go and have them under a car. Or should I just have never taken them out unless there was someone with me.

Reins are great. I used them for years. Carried them in my bag as a back up until only a few years ago. But people coming up and sticking their beak in about them brought out my inner fishwife Blush

VisualiseAHorse · 24/05/2013 19:27

Can easily see how you need them! My boy is not walking yet, but if he walks as fast as he crawls, reins will come in very handy for us.

In fact, we already have some. Someone bought us one of those backpacks with a rein attached.

CruCru · 24/05/2013 19:38

We use one of those toddler backpacks. I have used it in the park, mainly to get DS used to having them on while having some freedom. On the road, he has it on and I try to get him to hold my hand as well.

scrivette · 24/05/2013 19:40

I do know someone who's DH thinks they are the work of the devil, but I like them for DS.

I even call them his 'lead' - he likes being like the dog!

Lovethesea · 24/05/2013 19:43

Love my littlelife backpack. Same as above, two close in age, better to walk than always be in the pram, great for non hand holding DD and bolting DS.

Don't use it at the moment now DS is nearly 3 and DD is very compliant, but still want it in the cupboard as an option.

Most recently I used it on DS while he was on his balance bike, I could at least haul him onto the pavement if he veered off as the bike has no brakes and he has limited traffic awareness.

Plentyoffish · 24/05/2013 19:44

I have purchased them for my DS.

Got a rather cute backpack style with a tiger design.

Grin
SignoraStronza · 24/05/2013 20:09

I found them great for hoicking up and dragging a tantrumming toddler by. Also, the rucksack ones are useful at festivals for sneaking beer cans and vodka bottles past the arena entrance's security searches. Grin

piprabbit · 24/05/2013 20:21

They are the work of the devil.
They enabled DS to go into a crocodile death roll by hanging his full bodyweight on the reins and spinning round while screaming and flailing limbs, causing the reins to twist tighter and tighter around my hand until my fingers turned blue.

Chigertick · 24/05/2013 20:21

I have them for my twins 2.2 yrs.
I nearly always make them wear the reins when walking anywhere - especially at the beginning because I wanted them to understand -
Walking = reins
No reins = no walking
And therefore HAVING to get back in the buggy.
This has begun to pay off and I can now let them walk along quieter roads without reins on.

LineRunner · 24/05/2013 20:27

I'd rather live on an island with some pigs and a couple of friendly locals and fields and

I lived there when I was little and fell off the end of it a few times. That smarts a bit, I can tell you.

I did crack and used reins for my little bolter of a DS, for about 6 months, when facing traffic-infested walks. It really was for the best, near busy roads.

idiuntno57 · 24/05/2013 20:32

i had them for DT's at 19 months and with the arrival if their DB they were a lifesaver.

it was also quite funny when they tried to run in opposite directions

amazingface · 24/05/2013 20:32

I never even knew that this was a thing people got sniffy about!

When I was two, apparently, I dropped my father's hand and ran straight into the middle of a busy road and into the path of an oncoming car. He maintains the only reason I am alive today is because of the lightning-fast reflexes of the driver, who stopped maybe three inches away from me, and who, dad maintains, was almost certainly a mother judging by the 'I understand' look she gave him!

Definitely going to get reins next time I'm in town, DD's a bolter.

idiuntno57 · 24/05/2013 20:32

of

FairyJen · 24/05/2013 20:33

Does anyone have link or proper name for where you can buy the backpack reins??

LifeSavedbyLego · 24/05/2013 20:34

They are essential. No reins, no walk, was the rule in this house. Also they weren't forever falling over and scrapping their knees. The first time ds1 fell over on tarmac he was three - he asked for his reins to be put back on Grin.

My nephew is forever falling over flat on his face, and whilst he deosn't bolt reins would save him much pain and my eardrums. Can't see why you wouldn't myself.

LifeSavedbyLego · 24/05/2013 20:34

Littlelife back pack

FairyJen · 24/05/2013 20:36

Oops misspelt google search hence no results Blush

FairyJen · 24/05/2013 20:36

Thanks life

Tigerbomb · 24/05/2013 20:58

amazingface are you my daughter?

That's exactly what my daughter did many years ago. I will never forget the look of the car drivers face as he just managed to stop in time. God knows how he managed it. My DXH said at the time never again and he bought reins the next day

Reins can be a life saver

FairyJen · 24/05/2013 21:01

Thanks sirzy I may or may not have spelt "rain" rather than rein...

It's been a long day Grin

meglet · 24/05/2013 21:03

Apparently they judge them in the States. My Aunt was over here a few months ago and loved the little life reins I have for DD. But she wouldn't buy them for her granddaughter as she said they wouldn't approve of them in Boston.

Wingdingdong · 24/05/2013 21:14

We have a LittleLife backpack too. DD wasn't a bolter, never has been - more of a "THAT LADY IS SO NAUGHTY, SHE CROSSED WHEN THE MAN WAS RED!" shouter... Blush

..but that backpack has still been used a fair bit. For instance, walking back from the supermarket, crossing a very busy A-road, carrying several bags, no free hands - I could hold the strap in my hand with the bag handles, loop it back and give DD her own strap to hold for support and to keep her close and upright if she stumbled. It gave her freedom to walk rather than being strapped into a buggy all the time.

It was also useful in shopping centres - DD would be very unlikely to run off, but she's terrified of losing me and found the backpack reassuring. Mostly she carried the strap in the bag, but if it was really crowded, she'd ask me to hold onto the strap so she knew where I was Grin.

If I had a bolter, though (and I probably do now - 15m DS is showing every sign of being one), I'd have no hesitation in imposing reins/backpack wherever it was necessary. DD's now 3.9 and offered up her backpack yesterday, because "DS keeps wanting to run away and we don't want him to get run over, do we?".

I'm all in favour of giving a child as much independence as they can handle - but only in safe conditions.