Does anyone on here actually think that reins on children are the work of the devil?

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

If so, why? I'm genuinely curious.

Also, so far as I know there hasn't been a bunfight about this yet, so potentially a good Friday topic

Dd insisted on walking everywhere from about nine months so I used reins on her, very helpful when she constantly tried to dart on to the road or run off in the other direction. The options of forcing her into the buggy risking injury from the squirming and having her scream until released or allowing her to kill herself weren't remotely appealing. I never cared if anyone thought I was treating her like a dog, that's their ignorance. Reins were the only way of safely leaving the house for a few months. Now I only using them if going somewhere very busy where I could lose her.

I do understand why people use them near busy roads and so on.

I used to see people using them in all sorts of situations though - in parks, in shopping centres - and never really understood it. It looked kind of over protective to me, in those situations.

I think the little backpacks you can get now look quite cute. I suppose I'm still thinking of the kids I used to see in those white harness style things, with bells on them. They looked quite uncomfortable and annoying for the kid. But maybe kids loved them!

Nor have I met a healthy adult who couldn't outmaneuver a toddler.

Seriously??? You've potentially got a split second to "outmaneuver" a toddler in many situations so I think that comment is, at best, naive. Or perhaps you haven't had the pleasure of a bolter - trust me, they are FAST and if I hadn't used reins with my DD she'd have been history many times over.

Nowt wrong with them and my kids still played with them for years afterwards.

Nor have I met a healthy adult who couldn't outmaneuver a toddler

Mmmm you never met my ds. He was such a bolter it was unbelievable, lightening fast!

I use reins and have indeed have had negative comments. On that other thread I mentioned that a friend of mine thinks it is funny to bark like a dog when she sees it. But, a couple of Dcs, shopping, busy roads and all that. [shrug]

It never fails to amaze me what people see fit to comment on, We kept all ours DCs in babygros until they were almost 10 months (cute, snuggly), and people commented on that. (neighbour; 'whenever we see your children they are always in their pyjamas') Recently I was trying to sort out a bank issue in situ, and DC3 was screeching so I gave him a rich tea and a woman tutted and said 'well, that is hardly good for him is it?'.

Usually you get stealth comments. It happens when you do not expect it so you cannot rally in goodly time and tell people to fuck right off.

Yes, valium, I think of the lady who lost her son too. So awful. I have a baby in buggy and a 2.5 year old who has to go on the reins if we go out. Not worth the risk.

You can't understand why parents would want to make sure a child can't run off in a shopping centre?

The only time I used them with DS in a park area is when it had a pond in.

He is 3.5 now and can walk fine although I still have the strap to add to the backpack if it was ever needed (he uses the bag to carry his inhaler in)

Valium that's awful - the poor mother.

I think most people like/neutral about them these days.

I keep meaning to get a set for DS - I reckon he's gearing up to be a bolter!

DD wouldn't wear them at all (got extremely upset and refused to walk) so spent a lot of time in her pushchair. I'd rather she had been walking and getting exercise.

actualy the other thing I found was that quite often I'd get stopped by other women and asked if they worked and would i recommend them. I always pointed out that if DS wasn't on the reins, this conversation would be impossible because either he'd be screaming while I forcilbly held his hand (/wrist) or I'd have been running to keep up with him.

We took him to a christmas lights market thingy and the reins were an absolute godsend. there were so many people but he didn't want to stay in the pram.

I agree that I haven't ever had 'bolter' issues, as they're described here.

I think they look all wrong... child on a lead BUT don't care as I prefer this to having my heart in my mouth watching small ones running ahead from carer as I worry they will carry on into the road. Very safe and I wish the backpack things were around when mine were young. I had a velcro wrist strap thing which was always a bit awkward and longed for the old fashioned leather harness style I had as a child good thinking whoever designed the back pack.

I still use them on my five year old because she is a stroppy mare who is a runner!

I think when people use reins less they use buggies more.

Not bothered about reins, I can see they have uses to keep kids safe.

What does get to me though is an acquaintance who makes her 3.5 yr old wear reins in the enclosed back garden, I just think its sad he never gets any real freedom.

I think that near roads, car parks etc yes, good thing. Parks, open spaces, gardens, unnecessarily restrictive and unfair on the child who should be free to run.

"I used to see people using them in all sorts of situations though - in parks, in shopping centres - and never really understood it. It looked kind of over protective to me, in those situations."

I was more likely to use them here than in the park tbh. In a shopping centre, I needed to turn away for a minute to get something off a shelf or pay, so it was easier for DS to do something awful. In a park, we would be together and playing so I was happy for him to run across the field with gay abandon.

I think sometimes the reins are partly pure safety and other times it's also about convenience - I need to do some shoppnig, DS needs to be walking because he's restless but I wouldn't get any shopping done if I was chasing him round Boots the whole time. Maybe that makes me a terrible parent but I prefer to think of myself as pragmatic.

DD walks everywhere and has reins. I promised MrsPresley, the MNer who lost her child, that she would and I have stuck to that.

DD can outrun me. Her DH's side of the family ran nationally and internationally. I like to sit. She has their genes. She is also 2 and the size of the 4 yo. I NEED reins. I don't use a pushchair at all and haven't for months.

Reins are good if you're tall and your child is particularly short too. It must be very uncomfortable to hold an adult's hand if it means you have to have your hand way above your head.

DH hates reins but I disagree and always have at least one set in my handbag. I have a 2 year old and a 5 year old (with SN) who are both bolters and a 6 year old who has been a bolter but grew out of it. DS2 and DS3 are usually contained in buggy/wheelchair but I sometimes have 1 of them walking. DS3 always has reins on him when walking. DS2 gets one chance to walk nicely and then he either gets the reins put on or he goes in the wheelchair. I'd rather treat them like dogs than have one of them run into the road.

DS is only 8 months, but I think he is going to be a runner. I bought reins when he was 3 months old, so that we are ready for when he needs them.

Agree with CokeFan.

Also, if the child stumbles you can easily support them and get them back on their feet without injuring them if you are using reins: A&E departments ared full of toddlers who have had shoulders dislocated because they fell when holding hands and the adult pulled at their arm without thinking.

As for looking all wrong- does anyone think taking the child in its buggy everywhere and not letting him walk looks better? Or even driving everywhere as some of my friends did because they were so worried about their bolters?

Actually reins saved my ds from serious injury when he tried to do a back flip out of my dh's arms onto some concrete paving slabs. Fortunately, dh had reins wrapped around his arm so ds was unable to fall.

We used them for a little while on main road pavements but always unhitched them for the park.

I agree that walking with reins is preferable to buggies and driving.

I suppose my suspicion is that if careers over-rely on reins, then kids may be less inclined/have less opportunity to 'learn' how to walk along with adults properly, by picking up on verbal and visual prompts and learning to stay close and regulate their pace and impulses, and so end up being on reins for longer than may have been necessary. When I see people out with reins - which isn't half as often as I used to - they are often letting the kid trot along and do whatever, which doesn't really do much to discourage them from trying to zoom around, but just contains it within safe limits.

But I've no experience of 'bolters', and appreciate that people do what they have to do to keep safe. I suspect that Bling is right when she says it's partly about convenience too, but as she says it's pragmatic.

I think they're a good idea, as long as the parent/ guardian holding onto the end is responsible. I once saw a little boy (look to have only just started to find his feet properly) on reins in a shopping center.... he stumbled and fell and his mum was too engaged in her phone to notice and was literally dragging him (crying) across the floor... another member of the public had to run up to her and tell her he'd fallen :(

Absolutely essential with twins I put reins round my wrist and still teach them to hold my hands. I think it's far better than shoving DC in a pushchair and not let them walk anywhere

Unami I have 2.10 yo twins and it is the only way that I feel safe walking with them by roads when I am on my own. If one of them wriggled free I wouldn't be able to grab them whilst still holding onto the other one. Which one do I let go free? However I agree with you about children not learning to walk on them. I have them as a back up, so the loop is around my wrist and I hold their hands as we walk along. If they get free I can still hold onto the strap and stop them getting far.