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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder about the age you give your kids alcohol?

137 replies

MatersMate · 24/05/2013 14:00

so, this started with my Auntie and Uncle saying when you're 14 you cna have an alcoholic drink with a meal in a pub. Then we got talking about how old we were when we had our first glass of alcohol, my feckless Dad gave me homebrewed wine aged 8 and I was sick as a dog. Anyone have any under age drinkers?

OP posts:
Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 10:14

Such an interesting thread, what a range ! My (8 and 10) 2 both love "a finger" of wine or champagne eg their finger dipped into my or dh glass. This has recently progressed to a sip on very special occasions, usually with gps when we are sitting down before dinner (maybe once a month tops and nearly always champagne). I have been toying with the idea of giving them a tiny amount in their own glass at Xmas, but I am undecided.

Perhaps it is ideal to wait till they are 18, but I can't see how this practical if other members of the family are drinking. But then I let dd eat the foam off my cappuccino aged 1 and some of my friends were Shock at that.

Stealthpolarbear · 23/11/2014 10:18

on earth is it not practical? Your children drink once a month. I don't get it
I'm having the same issue wuth coca cola, if 7 yo ds asks he gets it but I don't offer. If he asked for wine I'd say no. He's A CHILD? It's a drug.
Not shouting sorry keyboard playing up
Do you give the odd cigarette too

BellaVida · 23/11/2014 10:22

My DC have never been even vaguely interested in trying alcohol and the eldest is 11. I wouldn't give it to them if they asked anyway!

As a teenager, I can remember having a thimble of advocat with lemonade at Christmas though. Yum!

TheWordFactory · 23/11/2014 10:26

I have always let my DC have a sip of of my drinks. They are 15 now and have never asked for their own.

Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 10:26

I wouldn't call a finger dipped in to my wine drinking, I would call it a taste (like the cappuccino foam) . It is a special thing to mark a special occasion. I don't smoke and one reason dh finally gave up is that it is pretty hypocritical to condem smoking for them whilst dh was puffing away. Similar with alcohol how can you say it's okay for me to have it but you can't even try it?

Stealthpolarbear · 23/11/2014 10:29

As an adult there are loads of things I do the dc dont

Drive
Drink
Stay in the house alone (I wish)
Have the ultimate decision on where we live, what we do etc, though obv they influence that

I'm their parent. They're CHildren

Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 10:30

Tbh I would rather ds had a sip of wine and drank water with his meal than had a coke but that's just me.

Stealthpolarbear · 23/11/2014 10:32

Rather neither. But I insist on the alcohol and let him have the odd coke, maybe once every couple of months

Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 10:34

Well my dc do stay in the house alone (for short periods obvs). I would be happy for them to drive a tractor on a private road (supervised obviously and once they could reach the pedals) and I listen to their opinions about what we do and wouldn't move without consulting them. How old are your dcs SPB ? Nothing magically happens on their 18th birthday you know treating a 16 year old the same as a 2 year old is ridiculous it's about process.

Stealthpolarbear · 23/11/2014 10:36

I realise nothing magically changes when they're 18
But why start so young
Why do they need alcohol to mark a special event

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 23/11/2014 10:36

DS1 has been allowed a couple or three bottles of cider at a party since he was 16. Maybe one bottle if we go out for a meal (rare). DS2 (15) and DS3 (12) have none. They all have been allowed a sip of beer or wine from very early on, mostly with the intention of putting them off. (It worked!)

My DF was a regular beer drinker, typical 70s parent, daily trips to the pub for a pint where I would stay in the car with a packet of crisps. My DM only rarely drank anything, maybe a Cinzano and lemonade on holiday. I seem to take after her.

I have been allowing DS1 to drink a little under my supervision with the intention of getting him to have a healthy relationship with alcohol before he escapes off to university and out of my control. Banning it until 18 when he can do what the hell he likes as he's an adult, seems a bit risky to me. Alcohol is pretty much inevitable in the lives of students. Cigarettes less so, IMO. So why wouldn't I try to have some influence while I still can?

Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 10:39

I agree Ellen am off to church (where 7 yo do get wine!) be back later.

Stillwishihadabs · 23/11/2014 12:51

Back now. Why do we as a society use alcohol (particularly champagne) to mark special events ? I don't know, but not Christian cultures do (bread and wine after all). I totally get that , most Muslims and Hindus I know either totally abstain or drink much less. But in my and dh's family celebrations are associated with special food and drink, I think it's natural to introduce the dcs to this.

MrsMarcJacobs · 23/11/2014 12:56

Never?

ProudAS · 23/11/2014 13:46

I started having a few drops of wine in a sherry glass at about 7 or 8. It was the right thing to do IMO as I didn't see drinking as something forbidden and to do secretly or to experiment with.

riverboat1 · 23/11/2014 13:51

I didn't like wine until I was about 18 or 19...though I remember tasting it at home at dinner times sometimes from about secondary school age. I never wanted more than that tiny sip, it tasted horrible!

I live in France now, and in my experience it is a myth that kids drink alcohol at meals from a young age. I rarely see children under 14/15 ever show an interest in the wine at family events, though its true most parents would be perfectly happy for them to have a taste at a young age. I think wine just doesn't taste good to most kids!

foreverondiet · 23/11/2014 14:07

Sips of wine fine from age 5 (illegal before then) my 11 year old like sips of baileys but not too often (tiny sip every couple of months).

poolomoomon · 23/11/2014 14:14

I don't know if it's because DH and I don't really drink or maybe I'm just really sheltered... I can't make sense of a situation where or why anyone would even think to give a five year old alcohol. Or an eight year old, even a ten year old... I can understand a watered down glass of wine with a meal from the teen years but that's about it. My mum used to let me do that from about 12/13. Ive never really liked drinking though tbh so don't do it often at all, neither does DH. Only time we drink in front of the DC is Christmas. Not consciously at all, it's just not something we do. And the DC never ask for a sip of our coffee for example, I can't see wine being any different. Different folks I guess...

CallMeExhausted · 23/11/2014 15:06

I was given small amounts of wine at special meals from the time I was about 5, but allowed beer well before then - a sip or so from my parents'.

I let my DS taste a couple of different types of alcoholic drinks when he was about 14, mostly because we wanted him to know what it would taste like if someone tried to pull a "fast one" with him.

He hates the stuff.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 23/11/2014 15:11

Gosh, DD1 (12) and DD2 (10) haven't ever tasted tea or coffee yet, not mind alcohol!

If they were curious and requested a taste of my wine or DHs beer, then I'd give them a sip. I don't think they would like the taste though.
But I won't be offering it to them.

When they are 15/16, I might consider introducing them to some lower alcohol drinks, in the hope that is what they would then veer towards if they had a drink at a party. But I've 3 years to make up my mind on that.

Summerisle1 · 23/11/2014 15:14

I come from a family that's fairly disinterested in alcohol and seem to have inherited this tendency - with a few spectacularly drunken evenings in my late teens/early 20s thrown in - and we only tended to have alcohol around at Christmas. I must have been 13 when given a small glass of champagne. Which I hated.

I didn't really see the need for my dcs to drink alcohol as small children either but didn't have a great problem with them having watered wine or a weedy French beer by the time they were 13. They grew up to enjoy alcohol but in the main, enjoy it responsibly and with discernment.

Fabulous46 · 23/11/2014 15:19

I was about 8 or 9 and it was sweet wine with loads of lemonade in it at Christmas. My own kids were 11 (ish) and got very weak shandys at Christmas. At 16 I let them have alcopop things at Christmas and Hogmanay. Two now don't drink at all, one is a weekend drinker and the other only drinks on special occasions.

owlborn · 23/11/2014 15:27

I had a sip of buck's fizz when I was 8 or 9 maybe? Was allowed a glass of watered down wine from 10 or so and given a proper glass of wine with meals from 14 onwards.

Never had an issue with alcohol beyond a couple of very boozy nights at university.

Bluecarrot · 23/11/2014 15:35

I don't remember first time but I do remember having beer with my dad when I was maybe 7 (just sipping from his tin). Mum was probably quietly freaking out, but my dad was lax.
I'd happily never drink alcohol again.

Cerisier · 23/11/2014 15:58

So sending them off to the carnage that is Freshers' Week never having touched a drop of alcohol is seen as responsible parenting?

My DD18 had had drinks at parties and nightclubs during the sixth form (and a bit in Y11) so knew her limit and had built up a bit of tolerance for alcohol before going to uni. We were happy for this as it meant she would be safer. She drank very little during Freshers, if she had seen alcohol as the forbidden fruit it might have been different, I don't know.