Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let dd have a day off school because i miss her?

465 replies

LittleLisa78 · 22/05/2013 22:45

DD is in reception. DP works shifts and doesn't have a weekend off til July but does have many weekdays off. Youngest DD is 1 and very full on so elder DD has not had any real one on one time with me since she was born and has been asking repeatedly for it but it's difficult with dps shifts and extra curricular activities after school. She and I both just want a full day with each other having fun and doing things it's difficult to do when I have younger DD to look after too. AIBU to consider letting her have a day off school to do this?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:14

All this talk of "it's ok if the kid is the kid is ahead with school work" is a poor argument

when your daughter has a day off for fuck-all reasons, a teacher has to spend precious time filling in that gap...thus taking away input from other kids

thus doubling your selfishness with the "but I wanttttt tooooooo" wailing

AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:14

is the kid

sunnybobs · 23/05/2013 22:17

What astounds me is how irate people are getting on this thread about 1 day off for a 5 year old & yet there's a thread in chat about taking 2 children out for a week at the end of the summer holidays which is almost universally people saying "go!" It's like an alternative mumsnet universe. And the situation is the same - family time with mum or family time as a holiday. I'd take her myself OP & enjoy the day & then if she needed it again take her out again. It isn't actually going to create a lifelong dangerous precedent or damage her educational opportunities.

wonderingagain · 23/05/2013 22:23

That's good that you can drop an activity. It's tricky at that age when they are often signed up to after school things, then at home there's just about enough time for tea and bath.

If your youngest has SN you should try and get respite care from your local disabled childrens team, or SEN service. You have to push but they are given plenty of government money to provide it so dont't be afraid to ask.
Smile

SgtTJCalhoun · 23/05/2013 22:26

OP get yourself over to the other thread about taking a whole week off with much advice about fibbing about it too. You'll get a much more pleasant reception Smile.

DaveMccave · 23/05/2013 22:27

Oh she's only in reception, do it. I did it a few times when dd was the same age, she spends the weekend at her fathers and everywhere is so busy in school holidays, so very occasionally I'd keep her off and let her have a lie in, then we'd have a lovely day at an empty zoo or museum just us. Do what benefits your daughter most, not what keeps offsted happy. They start school far too young in this country imo.

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 23/05/2013 22:28

Precisely, sunny, thank you. I posted a while back about her dad wanting her to miss a day of school so he could travel back from a weekend away on a Monday instead of 'getting stuck in traffic' on a Sunday - also known as because he wanted an extra night of drinking as they were leaving at 9am so wouldn't get to do anything extra on weekend away. I was categorically informed that not only was I being unreasonable for not wanting her to miss school for that reason but that I was a contact blocking bitch and bonding time with her father was more important

OP posts:
Bobyan · 23/05/2013 22:28

What Anyfucker said, as usual Grin

morethanpotatoprints · 23/05/2013 22:31

Littlelisa

Totally agree there, my dd has come on leaps and bounds in one year of H.ed
DD can do in 2 hours what would take all day in school.
IMO, school is over rated Grin

Thymeout · 23/05/2013 22:32

No it isn't the same. The OP wants to take her child out of school to do what could and should be part of a normal routine.

And I don't see how she can do this without lying and making her daughter complicit in that.

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 23/05/2013 22:34

So AF, there's been a girl in DD's class who only went back today from Easter half term because she has excema. Should I have a go at her mum for all the filling in the gaps the teacher is going to have to do which, by your logic, will detract from DD's education?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:34

You are axe grinding about previous threads, lisa ?

Gosh, why are you still trying to justify yourself...you are certainly digging deep. I thought you had already made your mind up you were going to keep your child off school so you could bond with her (while simltaneously layering her up for 3 hour stretches with pointless after school activities 4-5 days a week)

SuburbanRhonda · 23/05/2013 22:34

I'm puzzled as to why anyone who thinks "school is overrated" isn't home-schooling their child.

Why put your child through 14 years of something you don't value?

AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:35

lisa...what do you make of the logic of the saying "two wrongs don't make a right" ?

Theyoniwayisnorthwards · 23/05/2013 22:36

Fuck me sideways I didn't think this thread could get anymore ridiculous. OP were I you I wouldn't bother justifying or defending your completely understandable decision because some posters on here are going to enjoy whipping themselves up into judgemental hysteria no matter what you say.

I have a two and half year old and a baby, I miss my two year old because I am very busy with my ebf baby and although I see him every day and do fun things when baby sleeps my eldest was my only for a two years and I miss whole days of uninterrupted time when we decided what to do based on his enjoyment. It sounds like the OP and her little girl miss this too. And that's OK.

You are not a selfish parent. I hope the insanity on this thread has not upset you too much. Don't let it spoil a lovely idea.

wonderingagain · 23/05/2013 22:37

Just this once I shall agree with the home educators. Grin

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 23/05/2013 22:37

Potato prints - I would love to home educate and think DD would excel. Would seriously consider doing it once younger DD is older but not sure eldest DD's dad would agree

OP posts:
wonderingagain · 23/05/2013 22:38

No I didn't mean you should home educate... please don't!

AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:40

home educate

or state educate

pissing around between the two is not justified because it fucks up other people's education

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 23/05/2013 22:45

Extra curricular activities aren't pointless; they improve her confidence, give her new friends, keep her fit and heaven forbid ...she enjoys them!

Exactly, northwards. Just because I see DD every day it isn't the same now we have younger DD. I can't just cuddle up for a story when we'd both like to etc and forever feel like elder DD is having to make sacrifices for younger DD. She doesn't complain about that but I kind of feel like that's why she deserves some special time even more

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 23/05/2013 22:47

Theyoni, I don't think anyone said the OP is selfish, did they?

I just think most posters can't understand why half-term can't be used a bit more creatively to give her the (extra) one-to-one time she seems to need.

AnyFucker · 23/05/2013 22:48

hours and hours of extra curricular activities for a 5yo "starved" of her mother's attention (as you are trying to convince us) is what I would call pointless

mydadsdaughter · 23/05/2013 22:50

Haven't read all the posts but no yaNbu unreasonable, have a great day together, enjoy yourselves, no harm is going to come from missing one day off school

SuburbanRhonda · 23/05/2013 22:51

AnyFucker

^ that

wonderingagain · 23/05/2013 22:53

I think you're being a very good mother, LittleLisa. You want to make sure both of your children are getting what they need.

Rhonda yes Oblomov said she was selfish.

AF it won't harm anyone else's education, it is just as likely to make it better. A child with more confidence, a greater sense of security and self esteem might enhance the classroom.

Swipe left for the next trending thread