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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

482 replies

CailinDana · 22/05/2013 16:41

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/05/2013 16:18

I know and remember that feeling very well, but you're not useless. It's the illness talking x

Apparentlychilled · 27/05/2013 16:19

I felt useless too but as flippin says, you're not. I can promise you that you're great and that you will come out of this.

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:20

Thank you ada i need to hear it. I'm so fucking frustrated with this goddamn illness.

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:23

X posted chilled thank you

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/05/2013 16:23

You're welcome lovely. It's a bloody frustrating horrible shitty pain in the arse isn't it, this PND business.

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:27

You can say that again ada.

OP posts:
Apparentlychilled · 27/05/2013 16:28

Yep, it's a total bastard. No least because it FEELS so true (even though it isn't).

You're very welcome.

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:29

Dd is asleep on me and dh went to the shop leaving the front door open by mistake. It's slamming in the wind but i'm terrified to get up to close it in case dd wakes up.

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:32

I'm actually crying about it ffs.

OP posts:
Apparentlychilled · 27/05/2013 16:36

How log will dh be? Less than 1 min?- just wait it out. If more, can ds close it? Or can you at least close the door of the room you're in so you can't hear it?

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 16:38

Ds is gone with him. He'll be about 5 mins i think. Can i ask those who have had pnd do.you like your life now?

OP posts:
Apparentlychilled · 27/05/2013 16:48

I do. It's (still) not perfect. But what really surprises me is that I enjoy being w DC now. A year ago I'd have laughed at such an idea (if I'd had the energy). We're a week into a family holiday and I haven't felt the rage I used to feel when I spent "too much" time w dc (which wasn't much). I'd still cheerfully strangle them sometimes, but it feels more balanced than before (like normal mum irritation rather than thinking they were a mistake and I was a failure iykwim).

Happiestinwellybobs · 27/05/2013 16:48

I love my life. In fact I was thinking about you yesterday. I have only told DH and DM about my illness, and neither the whole truth as to how I felt at that time, so this thread has really been thought provoking for me. And yesterday, I asked myself how I felt about DD and my life now - 12 months after she came along. And I wouldn't change a single thing. I no l

Happiestinwellybobs · 27/05/2013 16:50

I love my life. In fact I was thinking about you yesterday. I have only told DH and DM about my illness, and neither the whole truth as to how I felt at that time, so this thread has really been thought provoking for me. And yesterday, I asked myself how I felt about DD and my life now - 12 months after she came along. And I wouldn't change a single thing. I no longer feel despair, anger, sadness and like I was losing my grip on reality. I feel completely and utterly content with life - the first time ever in my 35 years actually.

Stay strong.

This will not last for ever.

You too will look back on this time, and feel completely differently to how you do now.

Sending you Flowers

flippinada · 27/05/2013 17:01

Yes, I do like my life now. Actually, I love it. I honestly do. It's a lot different to 'pre' PND but very much better.

BanjoPlayingTiger · 27/05/2013 17:04

Cailin
I had PND with my dc1. It was a while ago now and seems like a distant memory. One day it will seem like a distant memory for you too.
i remember watching the planes fly into the twin towers and thinking that it just wasn't fair. Those people didn't want to die, but they were going to and I did and couldn't.
I remember being totally floored by the phone ringing - I was totally unable to answer it. I spent 2 hours once trying to work out if I should put on a white wash or a coloured wash.

I was in contact with apni (association for post natal illness) who put me in touch with a lady who rang me each week and listened to me. That was the best thing I could have had. This lady had been through pnd and come out the other side. She understood!

Now my dc1 is 13. We have a lovely relationship and she doesn't remember how life was for her the first couple of years. She is a well adjusted lovely young lady who loves life. We have a great relationship and I am so proud of her.

Now life is grand - I can laugh and have fun. I can enjoy the sunshine and love hearing the kids playing together.

You were asking about getting your baby to take a bottle. I found that I had to leave the house before my dd would take one. But she did take one then. But she wouldn't take Cow & Gate milk at all - we ended up finding that SMA was the only brand she would drink. That was a bit of trial and error though.

This too shall pass!

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 17:05

I am so low this evening. I can't face another night.

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/05/2013 17:08

I understand. Can you get DH to take your DD out for a bit so you can get some rest? It sounds like, on top of everything else, you could really do with a break x

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 17:11

They're gone out. Probably not for long as dd will kick off. I feel like getting in the car and driving away.

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 17:12

My ds knows something is wrong. I feel so sorry for him.

OP posts:
Apparentlychilled · 27/05/2013 17:13

Can you go out eg for a coffee w a magazine while they're out? Just to feel less trapped?

Original poster
CailinDana · 27/05/2013 17:14

There isn't time dd will be back needing a feed soon.

OP posts:
flippinada · 27/05/2013 17:20

You and your DS will both be ok. Please don't beat yourself. My mum had really bad PND after my sister was born, when I was about 4 - I don't remember any of it.

flippinada · 27/05/2013 17:20

don't beat yourself up I mean to say.

Badvoc · 27/05/2013 17:33

Yes. I remember that feeling op.
I just wanted to drive away :(
My ds1 is now nearly 10!! He is a total joy and I love him to bits.
It will get better, honestly.
Your ds won't remember.
I think perhaps your dh needs to take over with dd for a few days....You need to leave the room/house when it's feed time.
What meds are you on?