to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

[CailinDana]

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

Only 55 mins till ds' bedtime. Hang in there. And maybe syringe is something to think about.

Dh is here so i don't really have to worry about ds. Dd was going down at about 10 and doing a 4-6 hour stretch but that's out the window now. I have to feed her on and off all night. When she took a bottle dhwould take her for a few hours so i could sleep but that's not an option any more.

I had it with DS - postnatal anxiety actually. I have DD now. Still anxious but nothing like what I was. Every day is another step. Hang in there - it will all be okay. MNetters told me I would be - they were right.

Would it be possible for you to feed her then DH take her for a walk or drive for a couple of hours so you can sleep eg 8-10 or more? It might just help a little to get a few hours? If she's just fed and not near you, se might sleep?

Ok.
I may get flamed for this, BUT if you are not enjoying bf and fee it is adding it your pnd/anxiety then it might be the to stop.
I realise this is something you may feel strongly about, but bf is on,y best if mum and baby are happy IMHO.
If dd was ff your dh or other friends and finally could feed her and you would feel less "trapped".
X

I'd be delighted to put her on ff if she'd take a bottle. Dh just took her out for a walk and i'm relaxing. I prob should go to bed.

I hope you're enjoying your rest or even some sleep.

Got no sleep unfortunately, dd wouldn't play ball. Onwards through another day. Life just seems like one long hard pointless chore at the moment.

Could you make up some f feeds and go out for the day with your ds?
Or better still on your own?
I know that sounds pretty hardcore but if she is hungry she will take a feed from a bottle.
Perhaps post in the bf or ff topic to get some advice about switching her?
Sorry you had a bad night x

Dh has to go to work today. We're going to go hardcore on ff next weekend.

I agree Badvoc - If BF is making things harder, just stop, or at least take some of the pressure off with a bottle/cup etc.

If you're having trouble giving a bottle - hand her to someone else and go out for an hour or two. A lot of babies will take a bottle when mum isn't there.

If you do want to switch from boob to bottle, do it gradually, so it doesn't hurt too much. Decide what time of day you'd like to give a bottle (maybe bedtime?), and slowly build up over a couple of weeks from there.

I think it will help op, I really do.
(I am pro bf when both mum and baby are happy)
I did both with mine - ff ds1 and bf ds2.
No regrets about either - very different situations very different babies.
Good luck op.
I vividly remember feeling like you do and I wouldn't wish it anyone x

That sounds like a good plan Cailin. For me, I ended up just doing morning and night feeds for ages, and the rest were ff (originally about 2 or 3 feeds a day though that dropped once we started to wean). I felt less trapped and in hindsight, I shd have gone 100% ff.

If DH can't be around today, is anyone else around for company and support? Just to help you get through till DH gets home?

My friend is here for a while. I do like bfing and it's the easier option at night but i hate not having the option of leaving dd with someone.

Hi,

I'm just coming out the other side of PND after my second DC. It's bought tears to my eyes reading this, so many caring people with kind words. I wish Id had the bravery to reach out at the time the way that you have. That in itself is such a positive and kind thing to do for yourself.

Although it feels like a lifetime, this will pass. I would stand rocking DD in tears cursing the mistake I'd made. Wishing it all away. I did the bare minimum she needed, to ensure she was clean, fed and safe. I felt as if I was in a different place to the rest of the world, separate somehow. How could no one else see what I saw?! Occasionally, there were lucid moments when I could really see how bad I was, how very cruel for this to have happened,how unfair, the effect on my DP and DS. I can honestly say that I have never experienced heartbreak like it.

I turned a corner when I began CBT, the various GPs and health visitors Id spoken to we're not very helpful so eventually I saw a private Dr. I've learned how I can effect how I feel with my thinking and gradually I have got better. I enjoy my little one and feel like myself again.

I'll always be so thankful for finding my way back from PND and wanted to share with you that it is possible. It sounds like you have great family and friends support. I'm Midlands based too, pm me anytime. This feels lonely, but you are not alone

That's a really lovely reassuring post thank you coffee.

Being able to leave dc with family/dh who could feed them was a sanity saver for me.

Came back to see how you were doing OP.

Here's some for you and a hand to hold.

I know it's not much. I do remember how utterly isolated, trapped, betrayed, angry, frightened, sad, ugly-hearted etc I felt. I was just wrong, in every way possible.

I'm still here, and number 2 is on her way. I'm terrified, but I KNOW that if things get bad again there IS a way out.

It sound like you have quite a supportive DH. Good news.

Irrational anger is normal. Don't forget, you are normal, you are having a normal reaction to a massive chemical imbalance and none of this is your fault.

Hugs.

I hope you've been having a lovely time w your friend Cailin and that you're in the home stretch to DH's home time.

Thank you for checking in. Dh due home soon. Dd been very unsettled all afternoon, crying lots. Knackered and of course convinced i have another bad night ahead.

My overriding memory is how lonely I felt, so happy to help. Maybe send dh out w dd again for a bit this evening?

I haven't got anything particularly helpful today, just to do some hand holding and say well done on getting through the last few days, really. I know what a struggle just getting out of bed (or doing anything) is when you are in the depths.

I think now is the time to shamelessly rely on friends.

I wondered, if you feel up to it at all, whether you might consider contacting charities which help with PND?

mind

apni

pandas

Your support here means a lot thank you. I will try to contact one of those organisations.

I think just talking to someone who understands can be a big help, but aside from that practical day to day help (someone who can take DD out for a bit or just someone to keep you company and take over when things get too much) can be a huge boon. Of course it doesn't make the PND go away (chance would be a find thing eh) but every little thing and all that x

I feel so bloody useless.