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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

482 replies

CailinDana · 22/05/2013 16:41

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

OP posts:
Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 15:17

I feel i've sort of lost access to the world, it's all going on without me while i just watch.

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resipsa · 25/05/2013 15:18

That's how I felt. I wondered how other people could appear to be so happy, so unburdened. Who have you got to talk to today?

Badvoc · 25/05/2013 15:25

Yes.
The terror.
The mystification when looking at other mums and amazed that they seems happy.
I will get better op.
X

MrBloomsMarrow · 25/05/2013 15:27

Cailin I was admitted to a mother and baby unit after DS2 was born due to psychotic depression. They were the darkest days of my life. Depression is hideous at the best of times but, with a new baby thrown it, it just seems impossible. PND is so cruel because it happens at a time when you're supposed to be so happy. But you will get better, I promise. What the MBU made me realise was that PND can happen to anyone - the women there ranged in age from 17-44, some had just had their 1st baby, one had just had her 6th. We were quite mixed ethnically and the patients included a midwife, a gp and a deputy headteacher. It's good that you've admitted this - it's the first step to getting better. Be kind to yourself and accept all the help you can get. DS2 is 5 now and I am besotted and he's a very happy little boy and very doted on by his older siblings. Take care x

Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 15:30

I felt totally cut off too- like no-one cd understand me. And I "knew" that I had nothing to complain about (nice DH, healthy, wanted children etc) so felt like I couldn't connect w anyone. I kind of felt like there was a glass wall between me and the rest of the world. I think feeling cut off really is part of PND - so many of us have felt exactly where you are. And I even felt cut off from dh, who just couldn't get how I cd feel so awful when I'd had our longed for children (though he didn't doubt that's how I felt, iykwim).

Are there any Pnd support groups around you? NCT used to have one in my area. Is your HV supporting you? Mine came extra times when I was at my worst. I found it almost impossible to figure out which baby groups to go to when i felt awful but cd you ask someone for coffee or I meet you at one one day this week? I know it feels impossible, but am just trying to think to ways to break the isolation.

Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 15:39

I go out every day - i have to or ds would go loopy. Dh is here but i can't talk to him at the moment. Thank you so much for your support. All i want is to feel normal.

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Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 15:41

The hv has been no help- she just talked at me for 20 mins and said she didn't know of any support.

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Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 15:52

I don't think i can take another day of this.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 15:52

You WILL feel normal, I promise. Will see if I can find anything on NCT website- I know they're not for everyone but they might have some kind if support near you.

saythatagain · 25/05/2013 15:56

A lot of what of has been written resonates with me. Dd is now 9. We didn't have anymore and, with hindsight, I think it was down to my pnd. I was terrified, felt absolutley isolated (I wasn't), dreaded being alone with her and thought it was the most single, biggest mistake I had ever made.

I made plans in my head to pass her to a friend who was already a mother and various other, seemingly sensible at the time, ideas to just get rid of this baby.

Eventually I went to the doctors, who prescribed me a very low dose of Valium for a short period. It did nothing. I soldiered on and at some point, I must have got marginally better. However, it wasn't until some time later and for another reason, I was prescribed AD's. They really, really helped. I was then able to see for myself that I had had pnd and felt quite angry that, because I wasn't diagnosed, I blew the opportunity of having another child.

There's nothing that can be done now, but I will say that our daughter is the most marvellous, precious, treasured, delightfully charming and loved human being. I can't believe how lucky we are to have her.

I am willing you to find the will power to get over this; it will pass.

Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 15:58

The NCT website just says to contact them to find out if there's pnd support in your area. Their no is : 0300 330 0700. They also link to this website - www.postnataldepression.com/

I'm not sure where you are, but it looks like they have support groups too.

saythatagain · 25/05/2013 15:59

....another thing I used to do was look in people's car to see if they had car seats in. If they didn't I'd grimace and think how lucky they were.

Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 16:02

Thank you for that chilled.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 16:06

My pleasure Cailin. I imagine there's a pnd support thread on here somewhere too, which might help.

Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 16:09

And I know you said that you can't do anor day like today but for today, don't think about tomorrow, just get as much help and support as poss from dh, and deal w tomorrow tomorrow.

How are you doing re self harm etc? For me, the idea was laughable- I was too exhausted to even think of anything but please speak to someone in RL if that's on your mind.

DewDr0p · 25/05/2013 16:13

I feel i've sort of lost access to the world, it's all going on without me while i just watch.

I so remember this. We had some friends to stay and I remember feeling like a spectator, thinking oh that looks like a fun evening. I felt nothing.

What is it that's making you feel that you can't talk to your dh, OP?

Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 16:26

Self harm isn't an issue. I want to say to dh that i need him to stay home tomorrow but he has to work.

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Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 16:27

I just can't cope.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 16:30

Ok if dh really can't be around tomorrow can you (or even better he) call some good friends and let them know you need help tomorrow? Or are his family about (an helpful)?

flippinada · 25/05/2013 16:44

I know it's not practical help but .

I think finding someone to come round tomorrow, if your DH can't stay off work, is a good idea.

Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 16:48

Anor hand to hold. I'm on hols till Thurs but happy to help in RL if I'm nearby- coffee some time if you're based up north?

Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 17:21

You are so kind chilled. I'm in the midlands.

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Original poster
CailinDana · 25/05/2013 17:30

I know i'll eventually be ok it's just living through it is hard.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 17:39

West Yorkshire, unfort.

You will be ok, I promise. I have a friend who used to tell me that, and when I couldn't believe it myself, I promised to believe that she was right, if that makes any sense- even when I had no faith in myself I cd have faith in her, iykwim? So maybe just know that everyone posting and lurking on this thread knows you'll be ok?

Badvoc · 25/05/2013 17:46

I'm in the midlands too op.
PM me if you want to.

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