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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

482 replies

CailinDana · 22/05/2013 16:41

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

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LaQueen · 25/05/2013 09:42

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 10:15

Dh has to go into work today so no hope of sleep. I feel really really bad today.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 10:32

I feel your pain- when Dh works weekends I feel desperate for company but am aware that friends are having family time.

Right- can you make a plan for the day till dh gets home? Snack time for ds soon then can someone take him for an hour for a playdate? And can you meet a mum friend for an hour w dd, just for some moral support w lack of sleep? Then (hopefully) nap for all 3 of you and maybe a walk to park? Or DVDs to get you through the afternoon? I know doing anything feels awful and impossible when feeling so grim but why not send some texts to see if you can get some RL support to get you through today.

Un MN hug. Xx

LaQueen · 25/05/2013 10:43

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 10:45

Dh saw how bad i am and decided not to go in. He'll go tomorrow instead.

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 10:56

I just can't handle things today.

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 11:19

Oh and dh can't take dd out because she bfs every 40 mins or so and won't take a bottle.

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 11:29

That's great news re DH. And I've just realised how unrealistic my suggestions were. Im sorry. LaQ had much better ideas. If dd feeds every 40 mins can Dh take her immed after each feed so ou can get a series of 40 min naps?

Can dh call on any friends to help you tomorrow? Or any of his family (I think I remember that yours are overseas)?

LaQueen · 25/05/2013 12:29

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 12:41

Me too. And I'd dread being alone w DC (which is why I asked if anyone can help you tomorrow).

LaQueen · 25/05/2013 12:46

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Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 12:52

I felt like she just was too much for me- feeding her (and later ds) was all I cd do. I couldn't ever seem to figure out if she needed changing/winding/feeding and all I wanted to do was someone to give her to me to feed at the right time and then let me sleep.

flippinada · 25/05/2013 12:55

No wonder you are so exhausted if DD is feeding every 40 minutes, that on top of everything else.

LaQueen · 25/05/2013 12:57

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flippinada · 25/05/2013 12:57

I had the terror of being alone with them thing as well.

I also used to hate going out because although it meant a little bit of freedom I knew what I was coming back to and that I could never escape (sorry a lot if I's there).

LaQueen · 25/05/2013 12:59

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flippinada · 25/05/2013 13:10

I'm like that with DS as well LaQueen- now that he's 8 we have a great relationship.

The being alone thing; I'm not sure what's being that. I suspect it's to do with the utterly overwhelming responsibility. That frightened me a lot. The third day or so after having him, I remember sobbing so much the midwives were really concerned and asked me if I was ok. I said no...I can't honestly remember how they reacted to that. It was because I was thinking "what the hell have I just done...my life is over"; and yet DS was very much wanted.

flippinada · 25/05/2013 13:11

Oh dear..I meant "what that's about". Auto correct fail.

flippinada · 25/05/2013 13:20

Hope you are getting some rest Cailin. Glad you have your DH there supporting you.

Apparentlychilled · 25/05/2013 13:26

Yes, for me I think it was the responsibility. And the terror that I was doing it wrong.

VisualiseAHorse · 25/05/2013 13:36

I had PND, and psychotic episodes last year after my first baby was born.

The first 6 weeks were ok, I was tired, but coping fine. Me and OH were enjoying this baby boy. Thing was...this wan't my baby. I had no idea where this baby had come from, and I was constantly waiting for his real mum to come and collect him. I would whisper in his ear when he cried 'don't worry, mummy will be here soon'. I suffered flashbacks about the labour and the journey home (memory of the actual birth/crowning stage is only just returning) - but I couldn't equate those flashbacks to them actually happening to me.

By about week 10, I realised that something was wrong. People kept referring to him as 'your baby' and saying 'are you enjoying motherhood?'. I wanted to scream at them that this wasn't my baby. When I looked at OH holding the baby, I wondered where his mum could be? I had not revealed anything to OH (he is a big worrier, I didn't want him to think something was wrong).

I rang the HV and broke down in tears. I knew something was wrong, but I could not put my finger on it. I went to see a psychiatrist for two weeks, and had CPNs visit at home weekly. I began a course of Sertraline (anti-depressent) and Quitiopine (anti-psychotic). I stopped the anti-psychotic after 1 week. It made me so tired I slept for 14 hours straight, and was having the same effect on the baby (BF). Yes...I was breast-feeding because I thought his real mum would be angry at me if I didn't breastfeed! I also had D-MER, so during the first couple of months, would feel sick and emotionally empty when BF.

A relative had a stroke and died (took 2 months, it was awful watching them die), when the baby was around 5-7 months. I spent so much time travelling back and forth I plain forgot to take my tablets. I realised that I had coped without them for 1 week and not noticed, so I didn't take any more.

Now...my baby (yes, MY tiny gorgeous funny baby!) is a year old, and looks just like the perfect mix of me and his dad. I would not have got through this without my OH. He was solid, never pushed me to talk, was just 'there'.

So, I had PND, Post-Natal Psychosis, PTSD and D-MER to contend with, and I did it. Plus, LO had lip-tie (totally undiagnosed, split it himself when he fell over aged 8 months) which resulted in BF being really bloody difficult. Still, I managed to mix feed for 3 months, EBF for another 3, and then mix-fed until 8 months. I am so proud of myself, it's unreal. Looking back at that woman last year - the woman who would've given her baby away without a second thought, who looked at every woman she came into contact with to check whether she might be his 'real' mum, the woman who screamed in her baby's face that she didn't know where his mummy was - has fully recovered.

(I can't wait for the next one!)

VisualiseAHorse · 25/05/2013 13:38

Oh, and I've pinpointed the moment where I realised maybe this baby was ours.

A photo I took of him aged about 8 months - looking up at the camera, he looks JUST like my dad (died when I was little). That was a real turning point for me.

CailinDana · 25/05/2013 14:23

We went out for a while. I want to fast forward the world. I want to feel better.

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 14:30

I'm glad others have mentioned feeling terrified. That's how i feel, paralysed by fear.

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CailinDana · 25/05/2013 14:30

I'm glad others have mentioned feeling terrified. That's how i feel, paralysed by fear.

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