to ask for positive pnd outcome stories?

[CailinDana]

Have finally admitted i have pnd. I've had depression before so i know i have a slow road to recovery ahead. I would so appreciate anyone else's stories of how they overcame pnd. I need some reassurance at the moment.

Be proud of yourself, you deserve it! I'm cheering for you here! I remember sitting in Starbucks with DD and thinking 'ooh, look at me, I'm out. In the real world. Doing something nice. And it's ok!'
Great news for you that your DH is off with you for a few days and that you'll have a chance to catch up a bit too.

Be v proud of yourself pet! Well done you!

I feel a failure because dd will only nap on me.

You're not a failure at all. Though you've had a few good days, my experience is that good days are sometimes followed by bad (2 steps forward and one back, I guess). This WILL pass. And she will learn to self soothe and to nap on her own. Hang in there.

I feel like there's just too much to deal with in this awful first year. They change so much.

I know. but they do get more interesting, and at the end of it, you'll have a daughter who you can enjoy without trying. If DH is off tomorrow, can you make a plan for him to take over and you to get some sleep? Maybe take the DC out between feeds?

He's 2.5 - a total joy and really well behaved. I think the fact that he's been so easy is partly why whingy dd is such a shock.
Chilled - i'll definitely have a lie in tomorrow but apart from that i prefer to have a normal day so i'll be having some friends around as usual and dh will be there to ease the pressure.
I feel like this low level dissatisfaction is my lot from now on.

I promise the low level hacked off feeling will ease. I think I said it upthread (and if so, apologies for repeating myself), but when I was bad, I had a friend who promised that I would be alright, that she believed in me and that she knew it would get better. Even when I couldn't believe any of that, I found that I could trust her belief in me, if that makes sense. If it doesn't feel real or possible that it will get better, maybe hang onto the fact that we all believe in you and believe you will come out the other side of this?

I can do that chilled. Thank you.
Btw - 2 miracles happened tonight. Dd took almost 4 ounces from a bottle and is currently asleep in her cot!! How long she'll stay asleep is another questionn but i'm enjoying it while it lasts.

I second what chilled said "if it doesn't feel real or possible that it will get better, hang on to the fact we believe you will come out the other side of this". You can and you will.

Fab news that DD was asleep in her cot and took some from her bottle. All real successes especially as they give you a little breathing space.

Tomorrow sounds nice with DH about and a friendly visit, enjoy your lie in

Yay for your Dd and enjoy the lie-in!

Another slightly better night and a lie in so i'm marginally less tired. We managed to drive to the village for lunch and back with barely a peep out of dd - in fact she slept all through lunch. She seems to be getting used to the car thank god.

Hey, that's great news!

I think i expect far too much of her considering she's so young.

:) that's really good news. Glad you had a lie in this morning.

One thing I remember, being able to go out and do things like a 'normal' person left me with such a sense of achievement.

Hi everyone. Mind if i join you? Have taken my time reading through this thread, and it's very moving. Can absolutely relate to it too. Firstly, yay for your two miracles yesterday Cailin. Sounds like the HV's and GP's are letting you down badly. As people have said before maybe ask to see a different one? There are HV's that specialise in PND.
I was only diagnosed a fortnight ago. I've been avoiding it since DS2 was born in September. DS 1 is 2 and was easy, not the birth so much but from thereon in. DS2 was born with an almost missed tongue tie (discharging midwife spotted it), webbing to toes. And was soon diagnosed with silent reflux to boot. I had an elective due to the complications with DS1 and freaked out from the off. Looking back i wasnt right in hospital, and when they kept finding things i kept wondering what was next. I was convinced something awful was going to happen. Ds2 then fed two hourly and wouldnt be put down. Velcro baby. Because of the silent reflux wouldnt sleep on his back so i co slept for three months until he could support his head and lay on his front. I felt trapped because of the crap winter / two routines meant i couldnt go far / DS2 feeding so regularly. Poor DS1 became as stir crazy as me. It was only when a nursery nurse was sent to weigh DS2 a few weeks ago (low weight gain in 3 weeks cos of constant colds making the reflux worse) that i was honest, i cried. She sent my HV to see me and we did the Edinburgh test. I scored 16 so she referred me to my GP. I had already seen him a week before and he said the same thing as yours. If it was depression you wouldbt be ok at work ( i work Part time), get some excersise. I saw a different doctor the following week who was lovely. and listened. He has put me on fluoxetine, just a 20mg dose. The following week i had a horrendous panic attack at work. But the tablets have now kicked in and i am starting to enjoy my boys again. I feel like i have really let them down and not been the mummy i wanted to be. We go out alot now the routines have settled. I am ok at the moment but so is DS2's reflux and i am not sure how i will be when that flares up again. Come on summer we need you! Sorry that was a bit of an essay. How are you today Cailin?

My baby days are a long time ago Kitty but I recognise a lot of what you say; feeling trapped, going stir crazy. So glad you are starting to feel a little better.

I do feel angry on behalf of people who have GPs/HVs who aren't any help, there really needs to be more support for and understanding of PND.

Thanks for telling your story kitty, i'm glad things are getting better for you. When i start getting all negative about dd i really need to remember today. She was good as gold and we had a lovely day. Lunch earlier, then a trip to the shop for icecream followed by the park. I genuinely enjoyed it and my anxiety is definitely lessening.

I am thinking of writing a letter to my gp surgery not complaining as such but just making them aware of what happened with me and suggesting they improve their training.

That's a good idea Cailin.

In this day and age it's ridiculous that there there's so little understanding of and support for PND. There really should be a nationally accepted code of practice (prob not best form of words but ykim).

It can only be a good thing cailin to highlight to your surgery your experience and the impact it had. Pnd in general seems to be not very well resourced area unfortunately. My gp couldn't refer me for a talking therapy as the list was 'closed'.
I still don't know if that meant full, oversubscribed or that I wasn't 'bad enough' IYSWIM? Whichever it was, it should never be acceptable to turn away a new mother, who is frightened and has finally sought help and advice. Talking openly about Pnd and its effects is one good thing that can come out of experiencing it.
Today sounds lovely for you and this is how depression lifts..we spend a couple of hours a day feeling ok then three, four gradually the balance shifts until the low moments are less than the 'normal' ones.
Hi kitty I feel your pain having a reflux baby, DD has silent reflux. It's good news you were able to see a different and more supportive dr!

Cailin- that sounds like a good idea. And great that you feel up to even thinking about something like that. Though it may not feel like it at times, that shows that things are on the up. And I really relate to what Wheresthecoffee said about the shift in good vs bad days. Hang in there.

Pretty good day today, we took them to soft play and dd slept most of the time. She was very whingy in the afternoon but it didn't get to me as much as it would have before.i

another good day to bank, and to remind yourself that you're doing a good job and you can cope with them both!