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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help Dd having a meltdown

49 replies

dingit · 20/05/2013 16:19

Stuck this here as it gets loads of traffic.

Dd is yr9, a really good student, and is taking gcses early this summer. We booked a holiday for the forthcoming half term, without realising she has a Physics exam on 5th June. We promised she could take her books and study. She has come home today to say there is an intervention lesson on the Tuesday of half term, and says she doesn't want to go on holiday.

She's very tired as she sat Biology today, and I just cannot make her see reason. I have emailed school to see what they say and ask if they can supply her with the material from that day. I don't know what else to say to her, but it's really put a spanner in the works.

Does anyone else have experience of this or wise words. Thanks.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 20/05/2013 16:20

Not good taking holidays in May if they are doing exams in June but as it is booked she will have to do what revision she can on holiday.

GoblinGranny · 20/05/2013 16:21

She is a good student because she takes her exams and her studying seriously. Can she stay with a friend or a relative while you galivant off elsewhere?
Why didn't you wait until the exams were finished? I think you're the ones who dropped the spanner.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 20/05/2013 16:21

I was a 'good' student and would have opted to stay at home. I know this is not AIBU but YABU

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 20/05/2013 16:22

Wait! Thought this was chat! YABU!

schooldidi · 20/05/2013 16:24

Personally, as a teacher I would say that if she's a really good student and worrying about not making it in for the intervention day then she is probably one of the pupils who needs it the least iyswim.

Getting the materials from the day from school is a good idea. Taking books and revision with her on holiday is a good idea. Trying very hard to get her to calm down is a really good idea (although I'm not quite sure where to start with that).

How many other exams does she have? Or is this the only one? I know in our school Science is the only exam anybody takes early but other schools may be different.

Facebaffle · 20/05/2013 16:27

I don't think there is anything you can do. She'll have to go on holiday and take her books with her.

If she's been putting in the work then a 1 day course shouldn't make that much of a difference.

VitoCorleone · 20/05/2013 16:27

Well to be fair, if she does well in exams and goes far in life she can have all the holidays she wants. A holiday is not as important as an education and getting good grades

Tryharder · 20/05/2013 16:28

The holiday will do her good. She can take her books and revise by the pool in her swimming costume with little breaks for swimming. If revision has got to be done, this sounds the best way to do it.

FWIW, I wrote practically my entire dissertation on a beach holiday in Spain. And got a first!

I do not think her attending one lesson will make a real difference to her mark particular if the teacher can supply her the lesson material.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 20/05/2013 16:28

Arranging a holiday before an exam is really not very supportive of you at all, OP. I would feel that I ad totally fucked up in your shoes. Do you have a family member she could stay with (and revise with) whist you are holidaying?

Remotecontrolduck · 20/05/2013 16:28

If she's a good student I have my doubts as to whether she'd need an 'intervention session'? Isn't that for students who are struggling?

She's probably stressed if she had an exam today, let her calm down before continuing with any discussion on this.

Personally, I think a half term holiday in year 9 is fine, as long as she takes her books and you allow her time to revise.

CelticPixie · 20/05/2013 16:29

YABVU. I can't believe you didn't think to check when your DD's exams were before booking a holiday!

Remotecontrolduck · 20/05/2013 16:29

Though maybe next time think before booking holidays in the May half term!

GoblinGranny · 20/05/2013 16:32

You do realise that all of the Y11 students who take their education seriously spend a large proportion of the Easter holidays revising, followed by more intensive revision in the weeks before the exams kick off?

You remind me of my MIL, she thought reading books was antisocial and banned all schoolwork until after she'd gone to bed. OH and his brother both made it to uni despite her attitude to their attempts to study.

schooldidi · 20/05/2013 16:33

I always think the conscientious kids are not the ones I do my revision lessons for, they will revise thoroughly and well without me. I do my revision lessons for the kids who have messed about a lot and have gaps in their knowledge or for the kids who are very weak and need all the help they can get, or for the kids who have low motivation and won't bother to revise/don't know how to revise.

I did all my revision for GCSEs, ALevels, and my degree, sitting in the sunshine, listening to my music. I would have hated forced revision lessons, especially in the holidays, because I knew I would get more done in an hour by myself than in an hour with the whole class. You now need to persuade your dd that that's the case for her as well, which it sounds like it is.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 20/05/2013 16:34

I think you have made a mistake booking the holiday when you did but its done now. I wouldn't try to discuss it with her today as she is clearly tired. Get the information from the school and make a decision on whether or not she really needs to be at the intervention day.

Original poster

dingit · 20/05/2013 16:40

Oh everyone thinks we are awful. In yr9 we thought we were on the safe side, we will not book a holiday until August for the next few years. She has one more exam- Maths later in June. they hadnt decided on the Maths entry when we booked.

She has done lots of revision, I would not enjoy my holiday if I left her at home. Will wait to see what school say. If they are predicting her an A /A*, I'm not sure what a couple of extra hours will achieve. My DH is very good at Physics and will give her lots of support.

OP posts:

CoffeeShoppe · 20/05/2013 16:46

For goodness sake people, get a grip. The poor girl is yr 9. Her entire future will not depend on this exam. Take the holiday, she will thoroughly enjoy herself. I expect the school has been on and on and on at them to revise. What difference would it make to read a book in this country or another? She will be fine. As you say your dh is good with physics and I'm sure he can give her all the help she needs.
Sounds like she is getting burnt out from the exams anyway. PLUS it is not the end of the world if she didn't do so well, there are many opporutnities over the next to years to take it again.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 20/05/2013 16:47

This!

brdgrl · 20/05/2013 16:48

I wouldn't leave it up to her to even have any say in it, frankly. You're the parent. Take the materials, and go on holiday.

ephemeralfairy · 20/05/2013 16:51

She's in yr 9?? Get a grip...! If it was GCSEs that would be different but come ON...

GoblinGranny · 20/05/2013 16:51

I don't care about the exam, it's the stress on your daughter that bothers me.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff · 20/05/2013 16:52

What kind of exam is it? Is she sitting GCSEs early? If it's just SATS or internal exams, she needs to do her best, of course, but nothing at all hinges on it. If it's a GCSE, that's further evidence that she's clever and motivated, so will be able to do the necessary revision, ideally with the material from the class she'll miss, on holiday.

TeamEdward · 20/05/2013 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ephemeralfairy · 20/05/2013 16:52

Oh sorry...she is doing GCSEs. Ignore me.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 20/05/2013 16:53

it sounds like she needs a holiday to get away from the stress from a week though...she isn't missing an exam, just a lesson about it. She has been revising hard, she will be fine.

14 year old girls are drama queens........well, I wasn't but my sister def was............once this melt down has finished she will no doubt look forward to a week in the sun :)

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