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AIBU?

Help Dd having a meltdown

49 replies

dingit · 20/05/2013 16:19

Stuck this here as it gets loads of traffic.

Dd is yr9, a really good student, and is taking gcses early this summer. We booked a holiday for the forthcoming half term, without realising she has a Physics exam on 5th June. We promised she could take her books and study. She has come home today to say there is an intervention lesson on the Tuesday of half term, and says she doesn't want to go on holiday.

She's very tired as she sat Biology today, and I just cannot make her see reason. I have emailed school to see what they say and ask if they can supply her with the material from that day. I don't know what else to say to her, but it's really put a spanner in the works.

Does anyone else have experience of this or wise words. Thanks.

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Startail · 20/05/2013 21:11

Hugs, I'm afraid there is very little you can do except what you have done, which is listen and talk to school, reassure her about her past marks (which must be excellent or she wouldn't be doing exams in Y9) then I'm afraid it's ignore and don't feed her stropping and getting in a tiz.

DD got in a fantastic tiz about a geography setting test. I reasured her last mark was good enough (she hadn't even looked, just focused on what she got wrong) and bought her the revision book on amazon and ignored further mutterings.

She wouldn't be in a tiz if they did sensible linear exams. Ordinary class tests and HW mixed in with CAs and real GCSE papers is stupid in Y10.

Expecting Y9s to cope with it is madness.

marriedinwhiteagain · 20/05/2013 20:55

Apols for typos - on phone x

marriedinwhiteagain · 20/05/2013 20:54

FGS of course a holiday is fine. Aeroplanes alllow books to. Be carried; schools want to be supportive. Phone school. Explain. Your dd will get 10 mins of teacher's time, reassurance. And the hand outs. She will also be relaxed when she does the exam.

DS is U6; DD Year 10 and is doing 3 GCSEs this year. If I hadn't started a new job we would be at hour house in France next week. It is entirely possible for teenagers to work in a different country you know.

Good luck OP - can't believe the flak you have taken here.

amigababy · 20/05/2013 20:38

do not worry. and don't feel bad. we're up to year 12 and have always had Easter and half term holidays. Take the worksheets, is there any wifi available so she could do some online revision if needed?
I think its more about managing her stress levels and approach to exams than her actual subject knowledge.

WhitesandsofLuskentyre · 20/05/2013 20:23

We went away to the sun in a big family group in the half-term before DD1's GCSEs. Not my choice of week because of the exams but in fact it was the best thing for her. She absolutely loved being in a different environment; she would work all day while we read by the pool and then take the evenings off. I think it helped her being in a relaxed environment. She got straight As/A*s anyway!

landofsoapandglory · 20/05/2013 20:06

jamdonut DS2 is the same. He hasn't been coming home on time since the February half term. I am looking forward to June 17th when it is all over!

jamdonut · 20/05/2013 20:01

She also did some exams -english,maths ,science -this time last year. I think they are overloaded with pressure these days.

OP I think you should have thought about it being close to exam time, but I agree with a lot of others,she should go with you,revise when away and ,if the worst comes to the worst, she has plenty of time to re-sit,if necessary.

formicadinosaur · 20/05/2013 19:55

She's is only year 9, she should really just enjoy her hols.

Ask the teachers for exam notes and then whisk her off on hols with you.

jamdonut · 20/05/2013 19:55

teacherandguideleader

If intervention is for strugglers and non revisers...why has my 16 year old daughter -who is predicted mostly A Grades - been practically forced to go to them all. She spent most of her Easter holidays in school!!! And has been to all the after school sessions for all subjects for weeks!

And is STILL worrying that she hasn't done enough. Plus,they don't get study leave now. Way to burn kids out!

landofsoapandglory · 20/05/2013 19:51

I wouldn't have booked the holiday TBH, and can see exactly where she is coming from.

DS2 is doing GCSEs this Summer (did some last Summer too) is predicted all A*s/As and he is going to the revision lessons for History and Maths during half term. He has stayed late most nights for extra revision sessions too. DS1 did the same, and will be attending for A2 revision sessions. MY DC have got a lot out of these sessions because the DC who go are the ones who are good students, the ones who work hard and want to do well. The ones who couldn't careless about revision are at home in bed.

Jan49 · 20/05/2013 19:40

Sorry, YABU. I think it was unfair of you to book the holiday so close to the exams and now to try to persuade her she has to go. I think you should rethink the trip.

When my ds did his GCSEs we had a trip away at Easter in March as a nice break before the hard slog of the GCSEs. May is revision time.

Flobbadobs · 20/05/2013 19:18

Sounds like she desperately needs this holiday! Will she listen to the teacher without having a meltdown? It may sound better coming from the school (not that it sounds bad coming from you, hopefully you know what I mean?)

dingit · 20/05/2013 18:48

She is still ranting to DH. She has more tests tomorrow. Worried she is going to make herself ill. My gut feeling is she will benefit from our holiday, and will be fine once we get there.

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jacks365 · 20/05/2013 18:47

Just sat down and worked it out but mine have had one exam or another every year for the last 5 years, 2 more years of this then I get to relax till uni finals.

My eldest did her ict at 14 and broke down over her result because she only got an A. Schools put too much pressure too young.

dingit · 20/05/2013 18:41

Just Science and maths. Science is in stages, I think. After Mathes they do further maths or as maths, gives them an idea of a levels! Eek, I would not have been able to do it at 14. I do think it's a lot of pressure at that age, but hey ho. One assumes school know what they are doing!!

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jacks365 · 20/05/2013 18:30

Just a word of caution avoid the last two weeks of August too as thats when results come out.

I want a summer holiday but between A level and gcse last year this year and next I'm having to forget it. I will make it up soon.

teacherandguideleader · 20/05/2013 18:21

Intervention is usually for students who will do NO revision at home, or those who are struggling. I suspect the holiday will do your daughter good.

PS - I wrote a fair chunk of my dissertation for my masters degree whilst on holiday - made it much less of a chore!

hackmum · 20/05/2013 18:17

No useful advice, but just curious about her taking GCSEs two years early. Is she taking all her GCSEs in year 9 or just some of them? And what will she do for the next two years?

dingit · 20/05/2013 18:13

Just spoken to school. They weren't overly concerned. Teacher will give her worksheets, and mark them and give feed back. Session is two hours. I would not want to miss my holiday for that. We have 3.5 hour journey. She has time then, and anytime she wants while we are there. Teacher will speak to and reassure her tomorrow.

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PearlyGrey · 20/05/2013 17:01

She should be fine, get the materials the school are offering and maybe see if she can have a little chat with her physics teacher before she goes on holiday if there's anything she feels she could do with going over with a teacher before she sits the exam. The teacher would probably be able to reassure her if she's a good student as well.

I think she's probably a bit stressed out by the exam today, was she happy with how she did? Because that could be playing a part in it. If she's getting worked up the holiday could do her some good. Maybe it would be worth talking to her about exam/stress coping skills too if she tends to get stressed - would set her in good stead for the future, heavier exam periods.

For what it's worth I went away before the exam period for one of the subjects I was taking early (probably in year 9 actually), I just took my books and worked around the holiday (eg. when it got too hot to sit outside I went inside and got on with some revision/instead of having usual holiday reading I stuck to my textbook), I don't think it did me any harm, if anything was one of the most relaxing revision periods I've ever had!

piprabbit · 20/05/2013 16:59

What is the objective of the intervention lesson?
I assume it won't be covering new material, or trying to rectify a whole year's worth of sub-standard teaching, in which case I should think your DD will be perfectly able to cope without it.

dingit · 20/05/2013 16:57

Thanks Betty, I was a drama queen, probably still am . I was so excited to be spending family time together, it's nowhere exotic, only keycamp

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CoffeeShoppe · 20/05/2013 16:56

Course she can, and she will. Don't beat yourself up about booking the holiday. She will come back refreshed and ready.

dingit · 20/05/2013 16:54

Thanks, last couple of posters. I would not go without her. Feel a complete bloody failure. I knew they had intervention lessons in year11, but this has been sprung on us today. We thought as an able student she would cope with one exam.

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 20/05/2013 16:53

it sounds like she needs a holiday to get away from the stress from a week though...she isn't missing an exam, just a lesson about it. She has been revising hard, she will be fine.

14 year old girls are drama queens........well, I wasn't but my sister def was............once this melt down has finished she will no doubt look forward to a week in the sun :)

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