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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at mil with regards to our dog dh says iabu but am I?

111 replies

concernedmate · 19/05/2013 20:17

Mil and Fil are coming to stay for a long weekend, they have said to find dog kennels to put our dog in and they will pay.

I think they are out of order as our dog doesn't like being away from us, and who are they to dictate where our dog goes, they are not allergic or scared of dogs, they are just not keen on them.

We have an older dog who is not bother, she doesn't jump up or anything.

I said to dh I won't do it as she is part of our family, but he says as they are prepared to pay and not keen on dogs to make life easier we should book the dog in.

I know mil will make a song any dance every time she finds a dog hair on her clothes.

I told dh I would ask the mumsnet jury.

So wwud ? am I BU in telling mil the dog is going nowhere?

OP posts:

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 20/05/2013 09:27

My answer would be "when hell freezes over!"

I wouldn't put my dog in kennels anyway, he always stays with family or a home boarder if we go away, but I wouldn't send him to stay anywhere else on the say so of someone coming to visit. You can be accommodating by making sure the dog doesn't pester her and you should really work on his jumping up etc.

If she was scared of the dog then you could keep him in another room for part of their visit but just because she doesn't like dogs. Tell her you're not too keen on parents in law either but are having to put up with them so she can do the same for your dog

WileyRoadRunner · 20/05/2013 09:39

Ummm YADNBU.

They need to put up with the dog or find somewhere else to stay!

VivaLeBeaver · 20/05/2013 09:41

I wouldn't do it.

Can you compromise and not allow dog in living room and their bedroom while they're staying? Would the dog be OK having to stay in the kitchen or dining room?

My nephew is scared of dogs and I've always shut mine in a different room when he's here.

Circaea · 20/05/2013 09:56

YADNBU. Dogs aren't accessories to be removed at a whim, they're part of the family. I'd be horrified if any visitor suggested that to me, it would really lower my opinion of them. And like others have said, although I'm incredibly allergic to cats I would never consider asking to have them removed for my convenience if I was staying with someone.

Ok, not everyone likes dogs, but as a paradigm 'pet lover' isn't unusual as enough non-pet lovers on this thread have shown, ie to ask this is obviously unreasonable - it's pretty clear that your MIL knows exactly what she's asking and is using it as a little piece of emotional blackmail in an ongoing battle (in her head) to see who has more power over your DH out of the two of you. Completely childish and pointless (not to mention unfair on the dog).

abasicname · 20/05/2013 10:10

How cheeky of them! What is your DH thinking pandering to them. Crazy. Dog stays in it's own home and PIL will either have to put up with it or go to a hotel. If my MIL even suggested this then she would be staying in a hotel, cheeky mare.

KittensoftPuppydog · 20/05/2013 10:16

No way. This would be so upsetting for your dog, and it might come back with kennel cough or other problems.
If it was me I would rather that they sod off.

StateofConfusion · 20/05/2013 10:17

yanbu

How entitled are they!

Your house your dogs house tell them to do one.

KatieScarlett2833 · 20/05/2013 10:18

Loving " like nature I abhor a vaccum"

DaveDeeDozyBeakyMickAndTitch · 20/05/2013 10:22

Cheeky bastards!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 20/05/2013 10:24

'Like nature I abhor a vacuum'

I know it's only 10am, but this is definitely going to be the comment of the day.

OP, well done and of course YANBU. Fuck the in-laws. As someone else said, show them where the hoover lives if they're so terrified of dog hairs.

puffinnuffin · 20/05/2013 10:35

That's awful! YDNBU. However maybe you could give them one of those pet magnet blocks which you can use to collect pet hair off clothes? I also have an aromatherapy pet spray which you can squirt around the house to get rid of pet smells. At least that shows you have listened to them and dog gets to stay. Failing that book your PIL into a nice kennel.

Lamour · 20/05/2013 10:45

How rude of them!

Tell them to stay in kennels themselves!

Plomino · 20/05/2013 11:09

Do you ever visit them OP ? If you do , I would bide my time , then a week before going to see them , ring up and ask that your MIL be asked to go and stay in a travel lodge ( our treat of course ! ) because although you're not allergic , you're 'just not keen' .......

Ragwort · 20/05/2013 11:11

YANBU.

However I would never, ever stay with someone who had a dog or cat, but as someone else said, that is my problem and I would stay nearby in a B & B or hotel at my own expense.

ComposHat · 20/05/2013 11:14

Could you borrow a 15st Rottweiler for the weekend?

As they arrive, cheerily announce, 'oh have you met our new dog Himmler yet?'

EldritchCleavage · 20/05/2013 12:12

Sounds as though you need the dogs there to make sure the visit doesn't last too long!

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 20/05/2013 12:24

I'm with those that said put mil in the kennels

My nan has only been to my house once in the 2 years we've lived here because she doesn't like the dog and when she suggested we put her in the garden was told in no uncertain terms that the dog lives here so if anyone was being put in the garden it wouldn't be the four legged member of our family! wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been raining and the dog hadn't even got out of bed

kiwigirl42 · 20/05/2013 12:29

fucking hell some people are cheeky. tell them to book themselves a hotel or stay at home if they don't like your poor pooch. She is part of the family not an object to be discarded when it suits.

Steffanoid · 20/05/2013 12:32

I'd tell her to shove her 'visit' where the sun don't shine!
how can people be so rude! it's your dog and your choice, my dog takes a higher place than most peole iknow, he's my best friend and a complete and utter mummies boyunder no circumstances would he be 'cleared out' becuase someone wanted to visit, she's made my blood boil ( maybe shouldn't have read this at 37 weeks pregnant when feeling rubbish!)

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 20/05/2013 12:33

I dare you to print out this thread and leave it lying around where MIL will read it!!

Feeling slightly evil because my in laws just arrived yesterday and as lovely as they are, it is still a lot of work. FIL actually wanted to TALK to me before I had my coffee this morning. How very dare he!

GlassofRose · 20/05/2013 12:35

YANBU and it is disgustingly cheeky to suggest. I think you should suggest they use the money to stay elsewhere instead!

MostPeopleAreMad · 20/05/2013 12:38

at ComposHat

LEMisdisappointed · 20/05/2013 12:43

I would be tempted to find the details of the most expensive, indulgent sort of doggie spa/hotel type thing, where they feed fois gras and fillet steak and the dogs sleep on alpaca blankets, recieve rieki healing and benefit from all over beauty treatment. Book the dog in and let them pay

sparkle12mar08 · 20/05/2013 12:46

Bollocks to her! I hate dogs (and most pets actually) but there's no way you should send your pet away on her behalf, no way! I'm glad dh is on your side too.

5Foot5 · 20/05/2013 12:54

mil commented "she ground you down then "!!!!!!!!!

Wow!!

I think I would want to let her know that I was so angry at that comment that I was reconsidering whether they were welcome to come at all.

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