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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at mil with regards to our dog dh says iabu but am I?

111 replies

concernedmate · 19/05/2013 20:17

Mil and Fil are coming to stay for a long weekend, they have said to find dog kennels to put our dog in and they will pay.

I think they are out of order as our dog doesn't like being away from us, and who are they to dictate where our dog goes, they are not allergic or scared of dogs, they are just not keen on them.

We have an older dog who is not bother, she doesn't jump up or anything.

I said to dh I won't do it as she is part of our family, but he says as they are prepared to pay and not keen on dogs to make life easier we should book the dog in.

I know mil will make a song any dance every time she finds a dog hair on her clothes.

I told dh I would ask the mumsnet jury.

So wwud ? am I BU in telling mil the dog is going nowhere?

OP posts:
BenjaminButton172 · 19/05/2013 21:33

What is ur dh going to do about his parents? Will he tell them that the dog will not b going into a kennel.

I hate dogs, absolutely hate them to the point where if i see one off a lead running about i walk the other way but i think ur dh & pil were BU. i would not stay at a house if there was a dog there i would stay at a hotel.

Original poster
concernedmate · 19/05/2013 21:38

dh has spoken to them and said dog is going nowhere, mil commented "she ground you down then "!!!!!!!!!

I will just laugh at her when she comes and I know the first thing she will do when she walks in is comment on the dog smell, over exaggerate walking round the dog and when the dog walks near her act like its an alien.

Its only for a few days and once a year so I can be civil (i think)

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 19/05/2013 21:38

Find your nearest dog friendly hotel / spa, book you and the dog in, present them with the bill and enjoy.

In fact, as your dh has come to his senses, he can go too Grin

HansieMom · 19/05/2013 21:42

The thing is, they might never pay you, either. When you kennel a dog, you pay at pickup.

BergholtStuttleyJohnson · 19/05/2013 21:45

Yanbu at all! I'm very wary of dogs due to a traumatic childhood experience and theres no way I'd ever ask this of anyone. I'd be fine with an old well behaved dog, if I wasn't keen on the dog I wouldn't stay! Very odd of your inlaws to expect you to put your dog in kennels! They should stay somewhere else if it bothers them that much.

maras2 · 19/05/2013 22:36

That is the most selfish thing I've heard in a while.I'm not a dog person,far from it but no way would I ever ask our hosts to kennel their dog (s).It is very unkind especially as the dog is elderly.Try to get your DH on side and just say no.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 19/05/2013 22:45

YANBU.

And I don't even like dogs. But it's your dog, and your house. If they don't like it they can stay in a hotel.

Nelly000 · 19/05/2013 22:46

Even if you put your dog in kennels, there would still be a doggy smell and doggy hair around so their request makes fuck all sense.

I hope your DH told her to get stuffed when your MIL said 'she ground you down then'

What a bitch. And no, I don't mean your pooch.

ExitPursuedByABear · 19/05/2013 22:50

What nelly said. It is 3 years since my cat died and I still find hairs. But Like nature I abhor a vacuum

fledtoscotland · 19/05/2013 23:01

Tell them to sod off & stay at the kennels themselves. YA definitely NBU and I'm gobsmacked they have even suggested it. Your dog is part of your household. They are the visitors and if they want to visit they need to accept the household as it is

BlackeyedSusan · 19/05/2013 23:02

i would not stay at your house, I would rather stay in a hotel and meet somewhere non -doggy. i am petrified of dogs though.

you don't demand,, you ask, with the alternative (hotel) offered... eg, don't want to stay with the dog would you prefer if we payed for kennels or stayed in a hotel?

saying that you ground him down is very unreasonble.

Ginderella · 19/05/2013 23:11

Your Mil sounds delightful.

MCos · 19/05/2013 23:50

I will guess your PIL do not own a pet. So are unaware of the extent of the size of their 'ask'? You should educate them some during their visit.

Suggest they stay in hotel/B&B next visit, if doggy smell,etc, is a problem.

ComposHat · 19/05/2013 23:51

Can you keep them in a different part of the house away from the parents in law? or give the dogs a good bath and grooming before they come?

GiraffesAndButterflies · 20/05/2013 00:01

They insist on staying at yours? I hope for your sake that's a figure of speech!! Shock

ChasingDogs · 20/05/2013 00:11

No chance, glad your DH has come around. Kennels can be hugely stressful for dogs (think chewing at themselves until they create large sores type stress) and until you've used a place you have no idea how the dog will react or what the level of care is like.

For allergies it's only fair to explain that you can't remove a dog long term/deep clean may not get everywhere, and that meeting out for a trip might be best; and if people are afraid of dogs I'm happy to crate/babygate in another room and work with them so the dog is taken on a long walk/given attention whilst the guest is otherwise glugging wine entertained. Everyone else is offered a grip.

ComposHat · 20/05/2013 00:12

I think you should send him to the kennels

Think of the smell, the pissing and shitting on the carpet, not to mention the dribbling and leg humping or the high pitched whining.

You dog shouldn't have to witness that sort of behaviour from your mother in-law.

Goes off to consult Les Dawson joke book for more mother-in-law gags.

sjclarke86 · 20/05/2013 00:14

No way!! I would even be tempted to hide treats in her clothes !!

hackmum · 20/05/2013 09:06

Cheeky so-and-sos. YANBU.

MrsMelons · 20/05/2013 09:09

YANBU - I haven't read every post but guess it would be 100% NBU on this one.

My XMIL didn't like me but she didn't get to pay for a hotel for me to move out for the weekend even though I am sure she would have wanted to!

I am still a bit Shock that she would even suggest it. Why would they not just stay in a hotel, surely it can't be a dissimilar price?

MrsMelons · 20/05/2013 09:11

Glad your DH has told them, I do feel for you though, I have been there with in-laws.

It is too long to write down but I have had some horrific experiences with XMIL when they stayed, once a year was too much in the end and resulted in a ban eventually so I do feel your pain!

MrsMelons · 20/05/2013 09:13

BTW I don't really like pets at all, dogs not so bad but definitely not cats but I would never dream of asking someone to put them somewhere else. I am also a bit allergic to pet hair.

DH went to see a client the other week who had a dog, he was covered in dog hair (really quite bad) when he came back and I caught him using by body brush to get the hairs off his suit Shock

Euclase · 20/05/2013 09:14

YANBU

Cheeky Beggars !

OhWouldYouJust · 20/05/2013 09:14

Yanbu!!

I'm not a great pet lover but I would not dream of telling someone to put their dog into kennels when I'm staying there!! Pets are a part of peoples families, and besides iv met far more feral children than dogs Grin

Wishiwasanheiress · 20/05/2013 09:15

I'd hotel the mil not the dog.

She can pay for that too.