Potty Training on the go - WIBU?

[Needavacation]

I am pretty sure I was being unreasonable in this situation but I had little choice and just cannot think of how I could have handled it differently. So AIBU and advice also please!

DS is 2 and a half. Has been potty trained for a month but we still have accidents every couple of days, and its usually because I have a 3 second window in which to get him on the potty/to a toilet but mostly he goes at set times so we are ok. Anyway, we were eating in a supermarket cafe today (essential shopping journey and lunch whilst there). I took him to the loo before we sat down and he wouldn't go. He ate his lunch and then he says Quick Mum! WEE!

So I (and here I become unreasonable) thinking Crap! I will NEVER make it to the toilet in time and we will leave a trail all the way through the cafe and the store, put him under the table on the potty (which I was carrying in the buggy in case he decides the loo is too disgusting). I put our coats round so no one could see. I was honestly thinking that it being in the potty is better that it being on the floor, which it definitely would have been. Anyway I was severely told off by the cafe manager whilst DS was mid-wee, which is understandable but I still really think it was better in the potty than all over the floor. I know its a cafe and a kid on a potty is nasty but what could I have done? I sat nearest the loo's but they were just never going to be a 3 second dash away, I tried to pre-empt it, it wasn't at a usual wee time , I've taken him out almost every day since the first few days and we have only had 3 or 4 accidents and they were all in the car seat. I feel SO embarrassed but I cant see what else there was to do? I just took the telling off because she was right, it was disgusting.

I got my tots bots traing pants 2nd hand from e bay much cheaper

If he has accidents in the car, have you bought the pads that go in the car seat or pushchair to contain accidents? I think I got mine from kiddicare, but hat was about 7 years ago. If you want I could go and check the name of them. They are plastic backed, terry front and have a loop for the crutch strap to keep it in place.

Need I did it years ago in a supermarket cafe too and got thrown out. I took ds1 to the furthest corner and got some chairs to block it off, we had a travel potty with the bags, so when he's finished, I secured the bag and popped it in pushchair basket.
I didn't take him to the loo because ds2 was in the highchair eating lunch and I had loads of shopping etc so I thought it'd just be easier.
Tbh, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if i saw someone doing this, if I was in a restaurant/cafe and a potty came out for a toddler.

Lots of conflicting views here.

I agree that he obviously isn't trained, but he's in training, we all had to start somewhere. He might be giving a short warning, but he is still aware when he needs to go. He will get better and better.

OP, I can completely understand your thinking. It could be argued that using the potty prevented him from getting pee all over the floor, and had I been there I wouldn't have batted an eyelid. But I potty trained only a matter of months ago myself, people who haven't done it quite to recently probably wouldn't want to see that while eating.

That said, I do agree that it would have been better to take him to the toilet and risk the accident. Having to hold on will help teach him how.

I have done this, but at the local park, but this was when dc3 (3) had only just started potty training.
The thing is pull-ups send them backwards as most kids see them as a posh nappy and will wee in them as much as they want.

It sounds as though he isn't quite ready yet and maybe you would be better of going back to nappies and starting again every few weeks with proper underwear and staying in the house for a week.

My dc were all ready at different ages, mostly between 3-3 1/2yo.
I put them straight into knickers and stayed close to the the house until they could effectively go long waits inbetween using the potty or toilet, pfb went back to the drawing board twice but dd2 & dd3 took to this method within a week and rarely had accidents.

If your dc is having too many accidents he isn't ready & a 30 second warning of using the loo isn't really enough warning to be able to take him out in normal underwear.
I would give potty training a rest for now imo.

Dc4 is 2.5 so thinking of trying her out with potty training in the next half term so I'm always close to the house.

I don't necessarily think so, i dident find that but every child is different. A park or open space s different as they can go in a bush but when your in a shopping centre it's different. I would nt be happy if a potty was whipped out in a cafe r restaurant it's not teaching te right way and it's gross. I would try and get my Chidren to the toilet and risk an accident

Zebra: That's disgusting, unhygienic, obnoxious, inconsiderate and anti social.

It's a bit of child's wee in a bagged potty.

It's not being sprayed round the cafe.

I think a four year pooing in a nappy is a lot worse, unless there are medical reasons for it.

I can imagine a four year old being able to write it's name, count and add up, read the odd word, having long conversations, but still in nappies and having poo cleaned off all his bits twice a day because 'he's not quite ready'.

Hmmm.

Needavacation: You will look back and laugh at that incident soon.

I was one in a shop with DD1 about a week into potty training. She said "mummy, I need a wee" I put down my shopping, told the guy behind the desk I'd be back for it. Outside no loos or convenient trees, not even a drain, so I whipped her bottom half down and held her over the gutter. A little old lady came past and aid she felt sorry for me. I said I didn't as she had told me in the shop, waited while I put the shopping down, got outside and took her clothes down, then wee'd on command, I said I was ecstatic. The old lady said "we'll, when you see it that way it makes it much easier" she went away smiling and so did I.

Accidents happen. I wouldn't have got the potty out, but only because I ver remember it, even though we have a potette. I'm just not organised. My DCs all learnt to drink from a sport cap bottle really early a I always forgot their cups.

I think it's reasonable to have put your child onto your potty. He needs to learn to hold on until the loo but as he's just starting out so it's fine to get the potty out. In a cafe environment the hygenic aspect is why the management complained. Next time could you carry him on the potty to the toilet area. I used to have a potty when I was out and I kept it for when the loos weren't clean.

I just read your op again, your ds is not potty trained if he is still having accidents and cannot hold on until he gets to the loo, he is still training. Until he can recognise he needs to go, get to a toilet in time,manage his clothing, wipe his bum, flush te toilet and wash his hands, he is not fully trained!

It's amazing how desensitised you can get to wee and poo if you have young children, hence the "it's only a bit of toddler wee." Wee is wee is wee, regardless of whose bottom produces it!

No different to changing a baby in a cafe or restaurant, a bit gross really. What if it's not wee but a big poo

Toddler wee in the gutter, over a grid etc is a lot more acceptable than weekend drunks weeing in doorways, phone boxes and up alleys.
That wee STINKS.
That wee is NOT acceptable.