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AIBU?

Potty Training on the go - WIBU?

88 replies

Needavacation · 17/05/2013 20:04

I am pretty sure I was being unreasonable in this situation but I had little choice and just cannot think of how I could have handled it differently. So AIBU and advice also please!

DS is 2 and a half. Has been potty trained for a month but we still have accidents every couple of days, and its usually because I have a 3 second window in which to get him on the potty/to a toilet but mostly he goes at set times so we are ok. Anyway, we were eating in a supermarket cafe today (essential shopping journey and lunch whilst there). I took him to the loo before we sat down and he wouldn't go. He ate his lunch and then he says Quick Mum! WEE!

So I (and here I become unreasonable) thinking Crap! I will NEVER make it to the toilet in time and we will leave a trail all the way through the cafe and the store, put him under the table on the potty (which I was carrying in the buggy in case he decides the loo is too disgusting). I put our coats round so no one could see. I was honestly thinking that it being in the potty is better that it being on the floor, which it definitely would have been. Anyway I was severely told off by the cafe manager whilst DS was mid-wee, which is understandable but I still really think it was better in the potty than all over the floor. I know its a cafe and a kid on a potty is nasty but what could I have done? I sat nearest the loo's but they were just never going to be a 3 second dash away, I tried to pre-empt it, it wasn't at a usual wee time , I've taken him out almost every day since the first few days and we have only had 3 or 4 accidents and they were all in the car seat. I feel SO embarrassed but I cant see what else there was to do? I just took the telling off because she was right, it was disgusting.

OP posts:

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hazeyjane · 17/05/2013 20:43

Good for you for actually doing potty training at a reasonable age.

reasonable age, imo, is when a child is ready?

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 17/05/2013 20:50

I get more than a 3 second warning from my 19 month old who I am not currently potty training as I don't think he's ready yet. I think you should wait a bit longer or try and avoid certain places until he is a bit more used to being able to give you a bit more time or until he can hold it a little bit.

I don't think YABU though, you obviously just got flustered in the situation and done what you thought would be best for everyone, I can see it from the other side as well though as I would be really put off eating if I had seen it.

Fairylea · 17/05/2013 20:54

I feel sorry for you and your little one.

It was clearly a difficult situation and you'd already been to the loo and he was telling you he needed to go which shows he is getting there.

I'd just stay home for a few days or not go for lunch at least until he gets it.

Don't feel bad. You know it wasn't ideal but honestly it's a toddler's wee. Not tear gas.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 17/05/2013 20:59

remember a friend boasting her 17mth old didn't like nappies or pull ups so she potty trained no she didn't she just stopped using them n child pissed all over floor n went through 10 sets clothes a day til nrly 3!

Needavacation · 17/05/2013 21:02

He is ready, I am just very bad at getting to him once he does tell me (mobility issues) and I have taken him out to lunch many times before now and it has been fine because he has gone before hand. Like I said, every accident outside of the house has been in the car.

I think I got a bit ahead of myself and over confident. I know for next time! And yes missgrinch, that is exactly what I imagined happening!

OP posts:

SJisontheway · 17/05/2013 21:04

Of course the child is trained. They are only a few weeks in and he has the odd accident. He'll master holding on soon. Its a difficult phase. Sympathies op.
On the other hand, my friends dd ha been "trained" for over a year since she was 18 months. Every time we meet she has multiple accidents. More misses than hits, but because she occaisionally manages to go on the potty, freind is convinced she's trained. Now that's just madness. Not fair on anyone, including me and my poor couch.

jacks365 · 17/05/2013 21:05

3 second warning is not ready. One of the signs of being ready is to be able to hold wee in for a reasonable time.

gordyslovesheep · 17/05/2013 21:08

I never found 'potty training' stressful because I never did it - all 3 let me know when they where ready by ASKING for no nappies - all 3 had the odd accident in the month afterwards (1 or 2)

They where all under 3 - I can not be arsed with stress - put him in nappies - wait until he is ready

FarBetterNow · 17/05/2013 21:08

Organised playgroups started about 40 years ago in the UK.
Children could attend from about 2.5 years, but they had to be out of nappies and potty trained.

I didn't know of any children who didn't attend because they were not potty trained.

There was the odd accident but not constant weeing or pooing.

Maybe parents have less time to concentrate on it these days.

SarahJinx · 17/05/2013 21:09

Seriously, a bit of pee in a potty under a table and its turning stomachs? Wowser, something to look forward to!

IcanandIwill · 17/05/2013 21:11

Just wanted to offer my sympathy OP. Life can't go on hold. You made a snap decision. It's fine. You won't make the same one next time. You are potty training and this means you have to think on your feet when out. I don't think that the remarks re the OP's use of the term 'potty trained' are helpful or necessary, it's a technicality.

Sirzy · 17/05/2013 21:11

I agree gordy.

pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:11

Just stick him in pull ups when you go out, if he does have an accident tan you won't have to worry about soiling. I did that with dc and no detrimental effects until she had learned to hold it for a few mins

pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:12

Why make life more difficult, pull ups are not the devils work

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 17/05/2013 21:12

How did you empty the potty?

FarBetterNow · 17/05/2013 21:12

SarahJinx: Thank you for your sanity.

If I'd seen him on a pot under the table I would have been quite amused.

littlemissgrinch · 17/05/2013 21:12

His first accident outside that isn't when he is in the car and everyone's saying put the kid back in nappies.

SJisontheway · 17/05/2013 21:14

Or you can get reusable training pants which still feel wet so not like going back to nappies.

Sirzy · 17/05/2013 21:15

It is more the "we have a 3 second window" which makes me think he isn't ready yet

pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:15

No don't put him back in nappies but pull ups when you have to go out, so that if something like this happens again and you can't get to the toilet in time and he soils himself, at least it's contained and he's comfy

pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:16

Until he learns a bit of control

arethereanyleftatall · 17/05/2013 21:16

Uabu. In that why are you making a child who is not ready for pants wear pants? If you only have 3 seconds, he us not ready.

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pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:17

He sounds ready he just has to learn to hold it a bit longer

pigletmania · 17/05/2013 21:20

Or you can get towelling toilet traing pants called Tots Bots

Suzieismyname · 17/05/2013 21:20

It was only a bit of wee but... He's not potty trained. Wait a month or two and try again.

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