Tina Mallone Pregnant at 50

[Lickitysplit]

AIBU to think it is crazy that Tina Malolne (from Shameless) is pregnant at 50 by donor egg?

I don't necessarily think being 50 would rule you out as being a good parent.

However I think if you're 50, a bankrupt ex-alcoholic with mental health problems and health problems associated with a life time of obesity and major surgery in the recent past, in a fairly short term relationship and quite a chequered relationship past.....well I think if you had the potential to be a decent parent you'd probably look at that and decide it probably wasn't a good idea.

everlong it's very unusual for 70 year olds to need care these days. Hell my Dad is 70 and has had multiple sclerosis for the last 18 years and he barely needs care. In general for healthy people it's not really and issue at 70.

For someone to need care at 70 these days there would have to be something seriously wrong, and with Tina Malone's history she certainly has the potential to be one of those people.

Other reasons such as how caring for your DM has had a massive impact on your life. It wasn't a criticism, only an observation from your posts.

In saying that, only we know the struggles that we face in daily life and how those individual struggles affect every aspect. For you, it's very obvious you disagree with women in mid-life having babies and that is, of course, your prerogative.

I, however, vehemently disagree due to my personal experiences and feel life is too unpredictable to decide against having a child, if that is your desire, and I genuinely don't believe that a woman of 50 is too old to start (or continue) a family.

I think the craziest thing is to announce it on This Morning at only 5 weeks.

If you say an 80 year old then which is very feasible. The 30 year old child will quite possibly have a young family to look after.

But this is how it is, isn't it? We take care of our elderly parents if/ when they need us to. If an individual was so ill that they were unable to take care of the 'basics' themselves, there are agencies who can help out and for those who need more intense support and practical help, there are retirement homes, supported living accommodation and nursing homes.

Don't they deserve parents who are able to look after them properly, have enough energy, good health, appropriate finance etc?

They deserve parents who love them. None of us can guarantee health and fitness, regardless of age. I look after my children properly, I get care in the home, and we work together to look after my children. I don't think it's fair to judge any circumstances to be honest.

I just happened to notice someone on another thread commenting that she has many friends in their 50s with children at primary school. I thought that was an interesting comment given the subject of this thread. So I suppose Tina M (whoever she is, I still don't know!) will not be the only older parent at the school gates.

Yabu. A lot of older moms out there and I don't think 50 is too old. I'd rather have an older mom with some wisdom and experience than some gymslip mom who lives next door to her family in the same home town and has very limited experience of life.

That said I would be scared to be this woman's child! She seems loud, barky, erratic and rough! Yikes.

The child's father will only be in his early thirties though, that makes it more of a Rod Stewart situation.

I think that's what it comes down to, Feegle. My caring responsibilities have coloured my dds' entire childhood and my own life, and it is solely because my parents chose to have me when older (they were healthy when younger). It's impossible to separate opinion from experience. Likewise, you don't (and won't) have the experience of this type of double caring. So you have a clearer mind on the subject, but I have more insight into one particular way that things can go, which is more likely statistically than if the parents were younger.

everlong, I was just repeating someone else's comment. However, I also have many friends in their 50s with young children.

No-one should announce a 5 week pregnancy.

it is utterly selfish.

Women have the ability to produce children naturally until they go through the menopause. There is a reason why women are unable to bear children at 50 - biologically they are not meant to do so. Implanting donor eggs and the like is wrong when it is just not meant to be the case.

As for those who say "well if it was a man would it be different?" yes of course it would. Because a man has the ability to father a child naturally at that age. A woman does not.

And the child will most likely lose his/her parent at an earlier age than would happen with most people who have children at an age when nature intended. not to mention the fact that it will be assumed that "mummy" is in fact "granny" at the school gates...

And to whoever said "if it was a younger disabled woman with a life limiting condition would you say the same?" absolutely. No-one has a right to have a child regardless of the cost to the child they seem to feel they have the right too have. Just because something can be done, doesn't mean that it should.

wannaBe - Women actually do have the right to have a child, regardless of your opinion.

I started my period at 9...would it have been OK for me to have a child? AND I mean physiologically, NOT morally.

Life, all life, comes with difficulties and I, personally, have heard of much more selfish acts than bringing a much wanted baby into being.

I am disabled. I have two beautiful children. I don't think it was wrong to have my children (it was having them that triggered the health issues). And I don't think I am a terrible parent. Yes my son perhaps fetches and carries a lot more than any other seven year old, and they both have to see me on my worst days, but since that's all they've ever known, they don't question it. I am still a mummy, we do fun stuff. I can't take them out on my own much, but I can get help for that anyway, so we go away loads and do fun stuff, with help from carers and charity volunteers.

My children aren't damaged by me.

Good for you SomethingsUp, you sound like you're doing a great job. A friend of mine has been blind since birth and she is also a wonderful mother.

I'm very glad we no longer live in an era where being a disabled woman would have meant having no chance at motherhood.

" There is a reason why women are unable to bear children at 50 - biologically they are not meant to do so. "

The majority might not be biologically able to without help but that's not the same as not meant to.

She'll be utterly knackered at 65 dealing with a teenager.

Juule - strange thing to say. Of course if they were meant to they would be able to. Nature would have designed it so.

Wannabe, medical science has changed at a huge rate just in the last 50 years.
What was 'natural' is the accepted thing now.
It's the 21st century, we're not going back.
If we were I'd be dead of breast cancer.
The wonders of medicine means women who couldn't have babies can. Women who are willing to go through all the shit and hope of IVF who are going to be amazing mums, as I think TM and her partner will be.
We hear far too many stories of children abused by their 'loving' parents who just came naturally.
She's 50, so what, baby P's mum was in her 20's.
What does that tell us?

Everlong - no I don't.
Bowlersarm - do you really think its a strange thing to say? I don't. Nature does odd things sometimes. Maybe once upon a time there was a benefit to menopause that doesn't apply now and nature hasn't caught up. Maybe women were had enough eggs for a lifetime at one time and then lifetimes became extended but egg rations didnt? Who knows?

Agree with WannaBe

I don't think motherhood is a right. And definitely not to someone outside of natural child bearing age. It is absolutely a selfish act, and you certainly wouldn't be thinking it would be in the interest of the child.