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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to want to pay for my 17 year old DD's mobile phone?

110 replies

Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 14:39

She earns about £40 a week for a couple of sessions of washing pots at a local pub whilst studying for A levels and insists that absolutely everyone else has their phone paid for by their parents. It's only me that's totally tight and unreasonable. Apparently it's her right.... She's having to save her money for something very important but it's not my business to know. I have paid her contract for 2 years but I think it's about time she took some responsibility.

Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/05/2013 14:43

She's having to save her money for something very important but it's not my business to know. But she wants Mummy to pay her phone bill. She doesn't know if she is an independent adult or not. Because she is a teenager. Discuss it with her. Maybe you go halves.

ConfusedPixie · 15/05/2013 14:45

YANBU. My sisters and I had too. All our mates had Iphones, we made do with normal phones, worked for us! Saying that, I'd tell her that if she feels that it's her 'right', she's obviously too young to be sensible with one!

specialsubject · 15/05/2013 14:47

no, it is not her right. How very entitled.

you do her no favours by giving into this. Tell her that you will provide a simple £10 PAYG phone and £10 of credit a quarter, which should be plenty to keep in touch. If she wants the luxuries - well, she knows what she has to do.

IloveJudgeJudy · 15/05/2013 14:47

YANBU! We don't pay for any of our DC's phones. If they want one, they pay. We can't afford to pay for them, unfortunately.

GreenShadow · 15/05/2013 14:48

Yes, we still paying for our DC, even DS1 who is at university. If we didn't pay directly, we'd still probably end up effectively paying when his loan runs out.

DS2 has an intermittent part time job which wouldn't be reliable enough to pay for a contract, though I suppose he could do PAYG

manticlimactic · 15/05/2013 14:48

Nope YANBU. My DD will be 17 when her contract finishes. I've told her she can go on PAYG as I won't be paying for it once it's finished (more for financial reasons than anything). She's more than welcome to get a job and get a contract herself. Unfortunately you can't get a contract until you're 18 can you?

manticlimactic · 15/05/2013 14:49

and she's already looked at PAYG sims and has decided on giff gaff £10 a month (can use her pocket money) and it's better than her contract tarrif.

BreconBeBuggered · 15/05/2013 14:56

I'm sure you're also saving for something private and important, and can't spare the cash. It's one thing to stump up the odd tenner for a PAYG phone to make sure they can stay in touch, and quite another to commit yourself to an expensive phone/contract.

Original poster

Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 14:56

no, it is not her right. How very entitled.

'Entitled' was just the word I used!

OP posts:

LineRunner · 15/05/2013 15:00

What's giff gaff?

My DD is 17 too, and mobile phones seem to cause endless angst - but they can't get their own contracts till they are 18.

cozietoesie · 15/05/2013 15:03

Absolutely not unreasonable - but see if you can sit her down and find out what this project is she's saving for. That might be more important than/as important as the phone issue.

MoominMammasHandbag · 15/05/2013 15:06

Well I didn't penalise my kids just cos they got off their arses and got jobs. Paid for the phone before they got a part time job, and still pay for it now.
Having said that, your family finances will be a big factor.

Washing pots is a shit job. You'd DD is really earning her money.

olgaga · 15/05/2013 15:08

Everyone I know still pays their kids' phone contracts while they are in full time education. I would expect to do that too.

If they're earning they don't give them any pocket money, obviously. I've already been paying my DDs contract for a year and she's only 12!

Presumably the contract is in your name or attached to your account, so you can cancel it if you really want to show her who's boss and piss her off, but I wouldn't.

Original poster

Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 15:08

I know it is a shit job, because I have a second job at the same pub and I do it too!

OP posts:

Original poster

Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 15:10

And I only get an pound an hour more than her and I'm bloody 47!!

OP posts:

SgtTJCalhoun · 15/05/2013 15:11

I agree with moomin. That said, her attitude would piss me right off.

hedgehogpickle · 15/05/2013 15:12

everyone else has their phone paid for by their parents

Just had a flashback to what my mum would have said to that - "well I'm not everyone else's parents!" :)

I would offer to contribute a set monthly amount (£10 suggested above sounds good) towards a PAYG until she's 18 then you can offer to contribute the same to any contract she takes out when she's 18 if you want to. YANBU!

AnyFucker · 15/05/2013 15:18

My dd's phone contract (paid for by us) is set to run out just as she finishes FT education and she will already be 18.

I predict some very interesting conversations then, although she has already been warned that there will be changes afoot

AtYourCervix · 15/05/2013 15:21

I pay both DDs. DD1 is 17 and works. She buys all clothes and shoes and tickets and stuff and is saving for her gap yah. Phone is only £7.50 a month.

mrsjay · 15/05/2013 15:24

Id cancel it and get her a PAYG if she is being arsey tbh and let her pay it herself she is working having her phone bill paid isn't a right maybe pay half her money is of course her own but you are funding her as well

Doubtfuldaphne · 15/05/2013 15:25

I think she is old enough to learn the value of money and about budgeting. My 12 year old wants a phone and he is doing jobs for the family to earn the money - to save up for one!
Yes there are parents who will pay for everything with no questions asked and who insist on their kids having the most up to date gadgets but what is that teaching our children? They'll grow up spoilt and bad with money.

randgirl · 15/05/2013 15:25

Ds has a top up package so each month its preloaded with a certain amount which i pay for. He knows that if he uses that up then he has to buy his own top up voucher. I did this as he was using his credit to download songs etc. He is 14 but he takes the phone to school as he needs to call when when it time to collect him due to sport etc. So he has to have available credit to whatsapp or call me.

mrsjay · 15/05/2013 15:26

My dd went and got a contract when she was 18 and working before that it was PAYG she had I had heard horror stories of going over contract thats why i never entertained a contract sim

squeakytoy · 15/05/2013 15:27

I am amazed at all the people who pay for their childrens mobile phones.

AnyFucker · 15/05/2013 15:30

Why not, squeaky ?

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