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Original poster

Not to want to pay for my 17 year old DD's mobile phone?

110 replies

Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 14:39

She earns about £40 a week for a couple of sessions of washing pots at a local pub whilst studying for A levels and insists that absolutely everyone else has their phone paid for by their parents. It's only me that's totally tight and unreasonable. Apparently it's her right.... She's having to save her money for something very important but it's not my business to know. I have paid her contract for 2 years but I think it's about time she took some responsibility.

Am I unreasonable?

OP posts:
FuckThisShit · 15/05/2013 15:32

DDs 1 & 2 will each be takin over their contracts when theirs run out. They are 1st year Uni and doing A levels. I will continue with DS's until he finishes his A levels in two years. I suspect their days of getting the latest upgrade for their iPhones will be a distant memory for them once they're paying for it. All three have the iPhone 5, and I see no reason whatsoever that they can't just get he selves a £10 sim only deal with these phones.

FuckThisShit · 15/05/2013 15:32

He selves? THEMSELVES FFS

Dawndonna · 15/05/2013 15:36

Oldest paid for his as soon as he got a Saturday job.
The others get so much per month pocket money, with a tenner knocked off to cover their 'phones each month.

Original poster
Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 15:38

I also think that if she contributed to family life in some way I might be more forthcoming but she does absolutely bugger all for anyone and her room looks like a squat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Absolutelylost · 15/05/2013 15:40

It's the culture of expectation which really annoys me. Not sure how this happened!

OP posts:
Davsmum · 15/05/2013 15:58

It doesn't matter what 'everyone else has or doesn't have' !

My teenagers went out and earned their own money and bought most of their own clothes because I couldn't afford the stuff they wanted.
Its great if you can afford it but even if you can, it doesn't mean you should!

WakeyCakey · 15/05/2013 16:07

My middle sister and I paid for our own phones from first getting them, both worked from 13. Have moved out bought a house etc.
My eldest sister never paid as spent all her money from her part time job elsewhere. Went to uni, is now back and living at home and my mum still pays her phone (and car, food, clothes, booze)

It's a very big extreme but I think she is still useless because she never learnt the value of the money she was earning!
I wouldn't pay

secretscwirrels · 15/05/2013 16:20

Why on earth parents pay for contracts and iphones I've no idea.
I pay £5 a month on Giff Gaff for my 17 year old and 15 year old. If they want a new phone they have to save up and buy one.

AnnaFender · 15/05/2013 16:25

I am 27 and my Mum pays for my phone contract Blush

Although to be fair, I had my own PAYG phones for years, and my Mum and Step Dad only recently got me this one as a surprise. I think they felt bad for me as I have had a rough year and am on a very low income (full time student and single parent) and wanted to treat me. I am very appreciative and would never 'expect' them to do this for me!

PeterParkerSays · 15/05/2013 16:35

I think the phrase you want is "then everyone else's mother is failing to prepare their child for the real world"

MoominMammasHandbag · 15/05/2013 16:54

My kids have iPhone 3s on unlimited contract for £15 a month. They had them for their main Christmas present the year before last. I think it was a reasonable deal actually.
We are fortunate to be reasonably wealthy but my kids certainly don't get anything they want, or half as much as most of their friends.

bobbywash · 15/05/2013 17:13

I pay for DD1 on a contract whilst she is in full time education. It will end when she finishes. However I did set the tariff and the phone, so it's a trade off. She gets her phone paid for I get to pick the tariff that's best for my finances.

University is expensive enough, and she works to pay for fees and cost of living. Also she would be lost without a mobile to organise and meet up with friends think it's fair.

marciaoverstrand · 15/05/2013 17:27

After dd ran up a bill of over £200, she went on PAYG which I gave her £10 a month towards and she had to pay me back the £200 from her Saturday job.

usualsuspect · 15/05/2013 17:30

PAYG giff gaff is a brilliant deal.

StuntGirl · 15/05/2013 17:32

Peterparker has it spot on!

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 15/05/2013 17:51

I'm amazed too! I finished uni in 2005 and I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents to pay for my mobile contract!

I had a student loan (still paying it back) and then did an MA on an AHRB scholarship. I worked weekends and holidays to pay for anything else I needed.

zzzzz · 15/05/2013 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dumpylump · 15/05/2013 17:58

Maybe a compromise? I have a capped contract for ds2, set at £15 a month. If he goes over that then he can top it up like a payg by himself. In reality he has never gone over it.

Theas18 · 15/05/2013 18:02

Like some of the frugal others on here the school age teens get £5 giffgaff a month (soon to be 7.50 as they are changing the deal, but I'm looking at a slightly cheaper deal on 3) and the uni one gets £10/ month towards her phone ( which she uses for £10 giffgaff deal) .

They all have sub £100 phones that were Xmas or birthday pressies.

If they wanted contract phones they'd have to wait till t was their own credit file at risk not mine, and fund it! I'd still give them the basic monthly amount towards it though as its fair enough that they have basic mobile functionality for going out and about at their ages.

Mind you this is how I've run things normally- i'll buy simple basic stuff and if they want brands/ultra fancy I'll pay the basic amount and they top up. Primark/M&S/next jeans -no problem, new Levi's -you top up

deleted203 · 15/05/2013 18:03

I don't pay for mobile phones. I don't see them as an 'essential'. And I can't afford to.

We give DD2 (17) an allowance of £80 a month during school which TBH is quite a struggle financially for us. She works in holidays from Easter to Sept (tourist area) so has top up earnings for 6 months of year.

Apart from food, uniform, bus fare, and anything I consider essential then that is it.

Anything else she wants she pays for herself. This includes mobile phone.

GoblinGranny · 15/05/2013 18:33

Mine both had a cheap PAYG that I topped up. DD upgraded a couple of times using her own money, DS is on his third PAYG £10 phone.
She's being rude and ungrateful, fine for her to save in secret, but you shouldn't be manipulated into feeling responsible for fulfilling her desire for a mobile.

OhLori · 15/05/2013 18:35

If you're washing pots in a pub OP to help pay for her mobile phone contract, I think you know the answer Hmm.

Ragwort · 15/05/2013 18:40

I would absolutely not pay for my DS's mobile once he is old enough to get a weekend job. No wonder kids are so entitled these days.

And, as OhLori says, no way would I go out and wash pots in a pub to pay for my child's mobile phone.

Don't believe the 'everyone else's parents do X' line - all kids say that Grin.

Milliways · 15/05/2013 18:42

My DS gets £50pm from me. He pays for his own haircuts, clothes and phone. (He does have a part time job as well.) He recently finished a £30pm phone contract and bought outright a posh Samsung Galaxy Note2 for about £300 on ebay and his contract for that is < £10pm now for unlimited texts and loads of data - from a StudentBeans deal.

fedupofnamechanging · 15/05/2013 18:44

Maybe link paying for the phone with dd pulling her weight around the house?

Although, if mine refused to tell me what she was saving for and gave me the entitled attitude that yours is, I would be be refusing point blank to pay for anything, bar essentials.