To FB msge the girl bullying DD & tell her to stay the fuck away?

[Gossipmonster]

I am not going to but it's do tempting.

Said girl encourages others to do unpleasant things to DD. In Sep one of her friends pulled DD to the ground and kicked her in the head repeatedly and yday she encouraged a boy to straddle DD and make disgusting sexual gestures to her, filming it and theatening to put it on FB.

Every day some kind of other low level incident.

School are great and deal with it but I am fed up of DD having to go through this.

Just looked on this girls FB and its wide open all comments from sycophantic friends telling her how amazing she is. I just want to write what a total birch she is who is making my DD's life hell :(

I won't as I am bigger than that and am using correct channels but this is horrid :(

You fucking can if its a minor

Anyone who knows what they are talking about will know that you cannot report a sexual assault on behalf of someone else anyway

Assuming your daughter is a minor, you can.

I really think you need to go on a training course. the fact that you are on the peripherals of social care unsettles me somewhat. I hope to Christ, you're whole department isn't that misinformed.

Not at 13 you can't.

We report lots of sexual assaults and abuse at work. Police then have to take statement from child.

What a load of bollox you are spouting. What if a 2 year old is assaulted do you do nothing as they don't understand the implications and can't report it themselves? No!!!

well obvs the police would have to take a statement from your daughter, not you, why are you getting so defensive? suggesting that people here 'don't know what they are talking about' ? you asked for advice and you have it. And btw you know as well as anyone that this is a child protection issue! why are you denying that?

I'm afraid Op - you haven't a Scooby what you are talking about. A fair few of us work in child protection roles.

but as you seem to be brushing this whole episode under that carpet as a bit of a non event, I do pity your poor daughter who has no one defending her corner

Yes you can. Even at 13.

Women's refuge will report assault and police will come and interview victim.

Neighbour can report domestic violence and police can now prosecute without victims consent.

Step up and protect your daughter. Stop putting obstacles in the way.

I didn't ask for advice I was just having a rant.

The police would not be able to take this any further if DD was unwilling to make a statement which she doesn't want to do.

Anyway thanks for the replies I am now hiding this.

I agree that if this is still happening it isn't be dealt with adequately. And absolutely don't post anything on facebook. Complain again to school and to her parents if they are the sort you could complain to. And any kind of sexual assault must be reported to the police.

good hide it then, your poor daughter, you 'tell her she is fab' but do not protect her from sexual assualt. fine.

Didn't see last post. Sorry.

Good hide away. Bury your head further into the sand about the long term effects this will have on your dd. As long as the bullies lives don't get ruined that is all that matters, right?

You work in social care, what do you do? Even I (as a student social worker who has not yet worked in child protection) know that this is a big issue. It is definitley not 'kids being kids'.

Please do go and speak to the police about this. They can speak to the teacher who insisted that the video clip was deleted. If he saw the clip before it was deleted he can confirm that your daughter was the victim of a sexual assault. Hopefully the involvement of the police will be enough to spur the school into dealing with this effectively.

Not saying it's right, but worked for us. I got the girl on her own, and told her, very quietly, that if she EVER bothered my daughter again I would rip her head off.
Also told her mother I'd do same to her if she didn't sort her bitch daughter out.
I ws very emotional at the time, I'm not proud of it, and daughter was going through medical tests at the time as she was very ill.
So yeah, not the proudest moment in my life, and not to be encouraged, bt when you've had enough, you've had ENOUGH.

Gosh this is a sad thread to read. I hope the OP cottons on to the fact her daughter is putting on a brave face pretty sharpish and takes control here.

I experience a very similar thing to your daughter OP. I don't want to go into it in detail, but it too was "sexual bullying" if that's what you an call it. I never told my parents but had I done so my dad would have battered the lad that did it senseless (probably why I didn't speak out) however I wish now that I had done something because I found out a few years ago that the same lad physically assaulted his girlfriend. So he was obviously an abuser of women in the making back then.

Please don't let this go. These bullies are fucking scum to do this to your DD.

Wow. Just wow.

"you cannot report a sexual assault on behalf of someone else anyway"

Of course you can!

OP, you came on here telling us about really shocking behaviour on the part of the bullies and the school. I am absolutely gobsmacked at the thought of them deleting the video without taking it further.

Now you are backing down, saying you don't want these children to suffer. Who do you want to protect here? If your daughter tells you she's been sexually assaulted and filmed in school then of course you can tell the police!

I am shocked that you say this is not a CP issue and agree with whoever said you really need to ask for more training.

As others have said, this is neither "low level" or being dealt with efficiently. You've been to the police but you need to go back as the situation has escalated. I'm glad your daughter has a good friendship group and is otherwise happy and well adjusted but I find it hard to believe that if she's experiencing this kind of abuse on a daily basis at school that it isn't having a really detrimental effect on her education and mental health.
I can't really accept that you work with social care/services when you seem to know so little about what you can and cannot report regarding the sexual assault of a 13 year old girl.

This is all now pointless, if the OP has hidden the thread, but I really don't understand the contradictions and the pussyfooting.

She's only 13. Sometimes you have to override their wishes for their best interests.

Does anyone else remember a similar thread before?
Was it the same OP and situation?

I do not want these kids to have a criminal record for bad deduction making egged on by a ringleader of a group

Erm..there may have been a ringleader, but he did it. And I don't see how he isn't to blame! Not like he had a gun to his head. I would go to the police. I tell you what, if a kid did that to my dd, their future & therefore criminal record or lack of would not be the first thing on my mind.

It has been 9mths of systematic bullying. Something needs to happen, I don't know what (my daughter would be out of that school quicker than you can say bully - but that's just me) but it has to be more than the school are currently doing.

DO SOMETHING!