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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my 5yo daughters name?

121 replies

HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 14:45

I am planning to change the surname of my 5yo daughter. She currently has my maiden name but uses my married name so I am going to change it officially to my married name.

However whilst I am doing that via deedpoll (that is the only way to do it due to various circs) I am wondering wether to change her first name also.

Her name is Katie, when I named her I didn't realise that Katie is short for Catherine and ever since I found out I have regretted not giving her a 'proper' name. She would still use Katie as her daily name but would have the option of using Catherine when she was older.

so WIBU to change both her names while I am at it or should I leave Katie alone and just change her surname?

OP posts:
sweetiepie1979 · 10/05/2013 17:41

Katie is a nick name yes change it, you don't have to use it.

themaltesecat · 10/05/2013 17:41

Katherine or the even more beautiful Kathryn- why not?

Katie is a good name for a dog or a good nickname for a girl / woman. It does look a bit daft on a birth certificate, in my opinion.

crashdoll · 10/05/2013 17:48

"Katie is a good name for a dog."

Grin A bit OTT, it's not like she named her daughter Fido!

Willabywallaby · 10/05/2013 17:48

I have exactly what you describe, and for years have had to explain why I have a proper name with a C but known at Katie/Kate. My mother didn't think she would shorten it but my grandmother got my brother saying Katie so it stuck. I use my long official name at work and would give a daughter a long name. I'm pleased the Duchess is the same as me, I used to think I was the only one!

But back to the OP I wouldn't change her first name.

rocketupbum · 10/05/2013 17:50

I am a Katie Katherine and its a right royal pain in the bum! 90% of my official stuff is Katherine but I always forget which so have to guess and seem as if I don't know my own name! Everybody in the whole world calls me Katie so Katherine doesn't feel like me at all.
Katie is nice as a stand alone name, I don't see any reason to give your little girl an extra, unessesary burden.
Sorry for the rant, can you tell I hate having 2 names?!

Moominsarehippos · 10/05/2013 17:50

Names are odd. I was given a proposterous (too long, too posh, too unuaual - although not made up or unheard of) name and loathed it. I never used it until fairly recently. I hated anyone asking my name as my family gave me a fairly stupid nickname (never allow your three year old to 'name' their baby sister), and the loathed real name was too unwieldy for a small child. Imagine growing up hating anyone asking what your name is! (I was a shy child).

Now its ok. Ok I'm over 40 now, but worked in the city where a 'serious' and 'posh' name worked ok. The middle name is still unspoken (truly awful old lady witch name).

I worked with a Mandy who had that on her birth certificate. She didn't like it.

Floggingmolly · 10/05/2013 17:50

It'd be fairly confusing for a five year old to suddenly change their name I would think; but given she's going to continue using the same one it seems a ridiculous thing to worry about.
Why didn't you worry about giving your child a "nickname" when you were actually naming her? Confused

squoosh · 10/05/2013 17:52

But no one calls the Duchess Catherine in her personal life do they? I bet she finds it a pain to remember to call herself Catherine when she's 'at work'.

Fakebook · 10/05/2013 17:54

Or you could be cool and change it to K8E. Do that.

Lifeisontheup · 10/05/2013 18:08

I'm Catherine known as Kate and it's never been a problem. I always know which I'm using and quite like the option to pick and choose.

Willabywallaby · 10/05/2013 18:10

Pleased to see there's more of us Grin

hopingnothopping · 10/05/2013 18:13

squoosh it is only the newspapers that call William's wife "Kate" actually. To all her friends and family, she has always been Catherine.

LastTangoInDevonshire · 10/05/2013 18:15

I have a longer 'proper' name. No-one in my family, or friends, has EVER called me by it (only hospital/doctor). I've never wanted to change it to my shorter name - why would I?

hopingnothopping · 10/05/2013 18:15

I meant to say that the name Katie is beautiful in its own right and of course it is a proper name. Think of all those little boys called "Harry" which was originally a nickname for "Henry" - it doesn't matter at all. (And "Jack" which was usually a diminutive of John until about 20 years ago). There are no rules!

SarahAndFuck · 10/05/2013 18:22

I think the rules about renouncing her former name if you change it by deed poll won't be so strict as to stop you calling her Katie informally.

I think those rules are to stop you going by two very different names on official documents rather than to stop you using a shorter or longer variant of the official name. For example if you changed your name from Alison to Bethany, one isn't a natural shortening of the other so still using both names on your official documents would cause problems.

In your case it would be like changing her name to Joanne but not being allowed to shorten it to Jo if you wanted to. I don't think they are that strict.

But if you do change it, follow the advice about keeping the initial.

My friend is Rosalyn, known as Lynn and it causes her a lot of problems with collecting parcels or cashing cheques with the wrong initial on them.

Yonionekanobe · 10/05/2013 18:23

DD is two and has a long name but it is shortened. The other day I was trying to teach her get 'real' name. The conversation with name changed went:

Me: Your real name is Rebecca
DD: No! Becky!

Repeat 900 times....

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 10/05/2013 18:52

So her name is now Katie smith and you want to change it to Katherine jones? Even if you carry on calling her Katie all official bodies will start calling her Katherine and that's a bit much for her to deal with aft a surname change too. Just leave it as Katie and when she grows up she can choose to add Katherine if she wants.

Coffeeformeplease · 10/05/2013 19:04

My son has a shortened version of a long and traditional name. It also ends on an "i". I think that's what people mean with nick name. it's cute for a little one but...
My son loves his name, it suits him, his friends have shortened it even further (a bit like Katie-Kate) and I would never change it. his middle name is George so if he ever feels he needs gravitas Grin

Katie is lovely, as is Kate [kiss me Kate] I wanted a Kate, but dh was very very against it.

MushroomSoup · 10/05/2013 19:06

I'm a grown woman of 43 and a Katie. That's on my birth certificate and I think it looks fine there, Themaltesecat! I am a professional (school principal) and I'm more than happy with it!

Willabywallaby · 10/05/2013 19:41

My Mum did actually name me after her grandmother Catherine, but she had legal documents with her name as Kate, bit weird I became known as that when she named me the long version.

StuntGirl · 10/05/2013 19:48

Good god freddie, cut the apron strings woman Grin I think at 23 your son is a man now, not nearly a man!

FreddieMisaGREATshag · 10/05/2013 19:59

Grin no he's really only 12 in my head

We were just talking about his new career which will require gravitas so I said "are you going to use Stephen and not Steve?"

He laughed like a drain at me the shit Grin

jellybeans · 10/05/2013 20:06

I think stick with Katie. Many parents use short forms nowadays so it won't be unusual when this generation are older to have lawyers and doctors with 'nicknames'. To me nicknames are more like 'big jim' or 'dazza' than shortened forms. Short forms are fine.

Most names came from other names at some point eg Benjamin from Benyamin etc etc. Few use the ancient forms. One of mine has a mn considered NN name but I haven't regretted it. It is known in it's own right and only about three people have ever asked if it is short for the long version. If you look at names like Alfie, Archie, Zach, Millie etc those short forms are all far more popular than Alfred etc.

I myself have a very long name which has several shortenings. From the get go I was always called a short form of it. As a result anything official comes across as rather too formal and not really me. I like it in some ways but in others a name like Jane would be so much easier!

jellybeans · 10/05/2013 20:17

I think stick with Katie. Many parents use short forms nowadays so it won't be unusual when this generation are older to have lawyers and doctors with 'nicknames'. To me nicknames are more like 'big jim' or 'dazza' than shortened forms. Short forms are fine.

Most names came from other names at some point eg Benjamin from Benyamin etc etc. Few use the ancient forms. One of mine has a mn considered NN name but I haven't regretted it. It is known in it's own right and only about three people have ever asked if it is short for the long version. If you look at names like Alfie, Archie, Zach, Millie etc those short forms are all far more popular than Alfred etc.

I myself have a very long name which has several shortenings. From the get go I was always called a short form of it. As a result anything official comes across as rather too formal and not really me. I like it in some ways but in others a name like Jane would be so much easier!

jellybeans · 10/05/2013 20:18

Oops sorry for double post

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