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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To change my 5yo daughters name?

121 replies

HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 14:45

I am planning to change the surname of my 5yo daughter. She currently has my maiden name but uses my married name so I am going to change it officially to my married name.

However whilst I am doing that via deedpoll (that is the only way to do it due to various circs) I am wondering wether to change her first name also.

Her name is Katie, when I named her I didn't realise that Katie is short for Catherine and ever since I found out I have regretted not giving her a 'proper' name. She would still use Katie as her daily name but would have the option of using Catherine when she was older.

so WIBU to change both her names while I am at it or should I leave Katie alone and just change her surname?

OP posts:
FreddieMisaGREATshag · 10/05/2013 15:23

I'm coming at this from the opposite angle. I have a DS who has a long name, and only ever gets the short version (like Stephen and Steve)

I always wanted him to be Steve, and I only gave in for the sake of peace to family pressure and put Stephen on his birth certificate. He has never ever ever been called it and has no desire to call himself Stephen ever.

He's nearly a man now (he's 23) and he won't change now, and I wish I'd just called him Steve from the get go.

(Obv name has been changed)

Trill · 10/05/2013 15:27

As an adult she may appreciate having the full range of Katherine-based names to choose from. It's a common shortening so she's unlikely to be annoyed at having to say "my full name is Katherine but I go by Katie" (the other way round might be worse - if she is "just Katie" many people will assume she is "really" Katherine anyway)

dozily · 10/05/2013 15:29

There's no right answer to this, only opinions. Have you talked to your Dd about it? What does she think?

Personally I would put Katherine on the birth certificate right from the start, but I'm not sure if I'd go as far as changing it at age 5...

As for "renouncing" your old name, this is only for the purpose of official documents - you can choose to use whatever nickname / diminutive you like in day-to-day life.

My Dh, mum, brother and sister are all known by shortened forms of their real names. Hasn't caused them any bother at all, although I guess keeping the initial the same perhaps makes things simpler.

SlingsAndArrows · 10/05/2013 15:29

YANBU.

I'm a fan of full names as I think they can lend gravitas when you're older. I'm known by my diminutive but use my full name when getting arsey with pushy sales calls, for example. :)

One thing you might want to consider is whether there are any alternative diminutives to Catherine that you're not so keen on, but which your daughter may want to assume when she is older. (Eg Kitty - although personally I like that name!)

Also, I think you can have a Katie from Catherine with a C - I know a couple of people who do that.

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 15:30

Well I guess that rules out that idea then, thanks musicposy.

Katie is and ever will remain Katie!

OP posts:
squoosh · 10/05/2013 15:32

Yay for Katie!

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 15:32

Haha notyomomma, how did youi guess her middle name??

Her middle name is just a normal middle name but I just don't like it. I wouldn't actually change it though.

OP posts:
musicposy · 10/05/2013 15:33

Katie is lovely, btw :)

EuphemiaLennox · 10/05/2013 15:34

Katie is a proper, and very lovely name.

lagoonhaze · 10/05/2013 15:35

Its a bit like Kate middleton isn't it?

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 15:38

Lagoonhaze I think every time I read about her in the papers it reminds me that I didn't give my Katie her proper name.

Ah well I picked Katie because I liked it, I still like it and even if we changed it to Katherine/Catherine we would still use Katie so why bother I guess.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 10/05/2013 15:43

KAtie is a proper nam e why would you change it no don't it is a bit silly that isn't what you named her at birth you must have liked Katie in the first place do you think she deserves a 'proper' grown up name or something

Graceparkhill · 10/05/2013 15:51

Just to say it would never occur to me that Katie isn't a proper name.
I know a lovely young woman called Kate ( no ,not that one) who was christened "Kate".
I also know a Meg who was never a Margaret , if you see what I mean!

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 15:52

Or me I know a few Katies and they are about 4/5

mrsjay · 10/05/2013 15:53

I know a beth who was never an elizebeth or bethany , I also know a Meg

Original poster
HalfBakedCleverCookie · 10/05/2013 16:33

Well I never knew that Meg was short for Margaret either. I would have assumed Megan.

I am rubbish at this naming business.

Blinking mumsnet confusing me over my daughters lovely name.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 10/05/2013 16:52

I'm a tad confused as to the circumstances you have that mean you need to use a deed poll.

As far as I'm aware in the uk the only way to obtain legal proof of identity after publicly declaring your new name is via deed poll. So no circumstances would matter as its just how you do it.

Startail · 10/05/2013 17:07

I wish the short form of my name was on my birth certificate. I'm never called by my full name, it's just this strange person who appears on credit cards.

teapartiesinsummer · 10/05/2013 17:10

You see, I love both Katie and Katherine/Catherine. However, I can't STAND Kath/Cath (apologies to any Kaths out there.) So I'd say just keep it as Katie. It's a lovely name!

Jack is a diminutive of John, after all Wink

squoosh · 10/05/2013 17:13

Yep, and I bet that very few of the 6 trillion Harrys currently doing the rounds have Henry on their birth cert.

Dahlialover · 10/05/2013 17:20

I have a best friend called Katie, whose proper name is Katherine. No problems with documents - most people are called by something other than their given name to some extent.

It is entirely up to you and your daughter.

If you are going to do it, you might as well do it when you change her surname, as it will all have to be registered with different agencies etc and you don't want to have to do that a second time!

Will you keep her original surname as a middle name? It is a tie to her past.

Dahlialover · 10/05/2013 17:29

"Well I never knew that Meg was short for Margaret either. I would have assumed Megan.

I am rubbish at this naming business. "

Old names like K/Cathe/arine Elizabeth and Margaret have loads of diminutives! Maggie, Meg, Daisy, Marguerite, Peggie. etc.

I think it was more fashionable in the 20s/30s. You could give a child a proper grown up name, or its parents and call them something else at home. My grandad's family all had different names to their birth certificiate. My Aunt was called Molly all her life. In her eighties, the doctor stoped using Mrs D and started calling her by her Christian name and had to be corrected as no one had ever called her Mary!! It was the first we knew of it too!!

HSMMaCM · 10/05/2013 17:29

I used to work with an adult Katie. Lovely name.

tiredteddy · 10/05/2013 17:39

Hi. I'm Katie in RL. It's my name in full. I've never nice been asked if it's short fir Katherine or Catherine. I'm 33 and a teacher so it's a fine name. I've never cone across a problem with my name and never realised it wasn't a proper name before I joined mumsnet Wink

tiredteddy · 10/05/2013 17:39

Agh. Never once been asked!

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