Crude texts on my dp's phone

[Beeyump]

I am a long time lurker on Mumsnet, but took the plunge and commented on a thread the other day. It felt quite amazing!

Aaanyway, I gather that it's a bit unwise to make a first time post on AIBU, but I would genuinely like to know what others think of this situation:
I am staying with my dp for a couple of days (we are in a long distance relationship) and... I looked at his phone while he was in the shower. I know, I know! That was wrong, though I did it out of idle curiosity and wanting to check what I had said in a previous text which I hadn't saved, rather than suspicion of anything untoward.

I saw the following texts from a friend of his who lives nearby: 'Lucky bastard, heard that Beeyump's here. Are you going to ram her?' 'How does she like it?' and then, simply, 'Fuck!'
Ahem. I just don't quite know what to think. Am I being prudish? AIBU to be rather disgusted? Does my looking at his phone mean I don't get to be pissed off?

LifeofPo that's true! I don't want to be stalker girl, and I do rather enjoy the 'ramming' (SHUDDER). I don't think it's a dumpable offence anyway.

Sounds like his friend is the problem really

You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep.

Hmm. Most of his friend's are pretty nice, just this one I find quite annoying. No, scrap that. I really don't like him.

"maybe you could apologise and say you're not proud, but blah blah blah and it's really worried you that you were being discussed in that way, as it doesn't sound like there's much respect for you, and just see what he says. His reaction will say a lot."

His reaction might be, "Where's your respect for me, reading my fecking messages?!", which would be very valid! I really don't think the OP should raise it unless she wants to risk losing her boyfriend, Magic.

Ram her? demolition derby,anyone ? thou I am laughing at the guy who sent it ,must be a right ladies man !

It is disrespectful and shows a pretty nasty attitude towards women. However I think you're stuck between a rock and a hard place tbh, if you confront your boyf he could well be annoyed that you have invaded his privacy and upset at the inference that you don't trust him....
You would be better off leaving well alone, I reckon.

Maybe he replied that he is going to ask you to marry him so not to be so crude about his beloved :)

And that caused the "fuck!" response

Thanks for the replies everyone, I rather enjoyed my first foray into AIBU! I think the wisest thing would be for me to just let this go, because I was in the wrong to look at my boyfriend's texts. Btw, I like your way of thinking, maddening! Hee.
The friend is a numpty, but I knew that anyway, and thanks to Mumsnet I can now laugh at 'ram her' as well as feel sick.

His reaction might be, "Where's your respect for me, reading my fecking messages?!", which would be very valid! I really don't think the OP should raise it unless she wants to risk losing her boyfriend, Magic.

Fair comment - but if this was indicative of how he was in general, or there were other things that bothered me underneath, then yes, I would risk the relationship to find out a bit more about his attitude to me/ women.
Same for him though if you brought it up OP, if he starts to wonder about his invasion of privacy!

I guess only you know if it's one to let go or not - and sounds like you've made up your mind :-)

Why would this 'friend' feel he could send your bf this kind of stuff, if he had not previously played along with it?

" Ram her"? Who does he think you are a sheep? Or whatever that remark meant, it is disrespectful and ignorant. Smacks of violent rape-like sex to me.
Just my opinion and I could not just forget it.