To have wanted to say 'grow up' to this woman

[Kasterborous]

Me and DD went to this group today, went to sit in this chair in a circle of chairs only to realise this other woman had been sitting there first. Fair enough. There were plenty of other chairs so I said to her sorry I didn't realise and I'll move and not sarcastically I didn't have a problem with it. She said huffily I'll get another chair and disappeared. I moved to the next chair along and her friend she was with put a book on this chair. Her friend reappeared and said very loudly 'oh good you have stopped anyone sitting there' while looking pointedly at me. It just pissed me off, I didn't say anything wasn't worth it. I know I'm moaning but sometimes the adults are worse than the kids.

[Kasterborous]

at you all. Will have to be careful not to sing these versions next week!

[HandMini]

We're all coming with you next week to take her down.

[BonzoDooDah]

"Come on everyone! All point at the twat!"

This really is the first thread I've cried laughing over.

[BonzoDooDah]

Incy Wincy Spider climbing up the chair
When she reached the top no-one was sitting there.
Down came the book and squashed the spider flat.
Coz just like her friend the owner was a twat.

[MatureUniStudent]

Brilliant. I love the alternative nursery rhymes. Takes me right back to a time I never want to visit again.

[Kasterborous]

I'm a stupid stupid woman,
With a flippy floppy twat,
I can shake it like this, I can shake it like that.

[YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar]

My chair. You sit there.

[BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM]

oh dear! laughing so much that DS has possibly just had milk shake!

row row your boat anyone?

Look, look there's a twat,
Sitting on that chair,
I accidentally took it off of her,
She gave a nasty stare!

[mum11970]

Just have to learn to get a thick skin, happens all the time a school concerts. One person goes early and hogs a whole of front row for laterer family. Most I do is save a seat for dh and dump youngest in it and then stick him on my knee when dh arrives. Luckily we live in a small village, so usually know who's saving for who, and just move ourselves around to accommodate other adults and kids go where ever.

[cory]

I ran a little baby group,
Nothing would it bear,
But a crop of tut-tuts
And a collared chair.

[Littlefish]

Absolutely brilliant Handmini

Wind the woman up
Wind the woman up
Twat twat
Nob nob nob

Genius!

[MummaBubba123]

I arrived first at my son's school line today. Rarity! He us in Reception.
He stood at the front of the line. A 5 year old marched up to us, looking quite disgruntled, having been playing in the distance. "That's Lee's bag! You're not first!".
I picked the bag up and moved it away, gently. "Thjs is a bag. It is not a person and it isn't Lee. Jack is first because Jack is the first person in the line today.".
Can't bear this crap!
I've been to a kiddy party before where I had a 4 yr old, a 1 year old (in arms) and a huge baby bag. There was one spare chair... with a handbag on it.
"Is anyone sitting here?".
"I'm waiting for my friend to come."
"You're waiting for your friend to come?"
No reaction.
I walked on.
Wish I'd given her her bag back (with my third hand) and sat the hell down!

[sunnywindysunday]

I am genuinely laughing so hard at all the nursery rhymes here. You people are genius

[Kasterborous]

Glad I started this thread. These rhymes are brilliant and made me from ear to ear.

[RenterNomad]

Mrs Muffet Deathstare
Sat on HER chair
Wriggling her bum with some strain.

She went for a tea,
And o gracious Me!
Someone's discovered her stain!

[megandraper]

Loving the passive-aggressive nursery rhymes. This needs to go in classics.

[megandraper]

Blah Blah Fat Creep
Have you any Chair?
Yes Sir! Yes Sir!
Me! Me! I was first to sit there!

One (chair) for the Creep, one for the friend
One for the newbie mum who's had e-fucking-nough.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I saw a grouch
Where ?
There on that chair
Where on that chair?
Right there!
A big old grouch with a cob on
Well I declare
Going nuts over a library chair
Oh yeah!

[BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM]

another nomination for Classics! brilliant

I bet you never imagined this OP, from tiny rants great threads grow

[PMTIsMe]

To the tune of 5 fat sausages:

1 empty chair
Sitting in the room
1 empty chair
sitting in the room
And if 1 tired mum
Should accidentally sit
There?ll be 2 arsey mums
Getting on her tit

Feeling suitably juvenile now

[Kasterborous]

No BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM I didn't imagine this thread would go this way. Glad it did I've not laughed so much for ages . It would have gone differently if it had been a toddler group in the village hall and much more boring. Won't be able to take rhyme time seriously again at all. Will probably be sitting peeing myself laughing if they sing any of the original rhymes that have been altered on here. And getting looks .

[BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM]

if you get any other mums joining in then you'll know there's a MNer in the room!

PMT - brilliant

[KatieScarlett2833]

The Mumsnet Alternative Nursery Rhyme book.
G'wan Justine, you know you want to....

[Kasterborous]

All the chairs were empty,
I had gone to sit,
When up jumped a stupid cow,
And this is what she said,
I'm a stupid, stupid cow,
With a flippy, floppy twat,
I can shake my tits like this, I can shake my tits like that.