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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if you have an all day wedding you should have food before 9pm?

379 replies

Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 18:17

We've been invited to a wedding in August the invitation said that, despite the ceremony being at 1.30pm, there will be no food until the buffet at about 9pm?

AIBU to think that if you want to cut catering costs on your wedding day, you don't get married so early? It's seems really selfish to me to have an all day wedding with no food but I'd be quite happy if the service had been at say 4pm?

OP posts:
meglet · 05/05/2013 19:56

Yanbu. If that was me I'd just stay for the wedding and head home. I'm foul when I'm hungry.

firesidechat · 05/05/2013 19:57

Wow, that's a long time without food. Not sure my family could cope because they get horrible cranky when blood sugar levels get too low. What are guests supposed to do for that length of time if not eat?

When my daughter got married the ceremony was at 1 pm, canapes were at about 3 pm and three course meal at about 5pm, followed by cake and sweets. She still warned people to have a good lunch before they came.

Guests to a wedding need lots of food and lots of drink!

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 19:58

Me too meglet. The ceremony is the most important bit anyway surely?

DontmindifIdo · 05/05/2013 19:58

but yes, it does seem rude to not think about looking after your guests like this. People need to be fed, I felt bad that we couldn't afford to do canapes as well as 2 meals, so we had the wedding at 2:30pm, with formal meal at 5pm and I was worried we'd been too rude leaving people that long without canapes... (then had a buffet at 9pm, which was hardly touched, so a huge waste of money - but I guess it's better to over cater than under)

McNewPants2013 · 05/05/2013 19:59

It crazy idea not to feed your guests for 9 hours.

What's wrong with a pay bar?

Talkinpeace · 05/05/2013 20:00

A vote for BUCKET loads of delivery pizza : 30 of you get together, each put in £ and get a truck load.

No food for 7 hours is not a wedding its downright rude

only a bridezilla would consider that in any way acceptable.

ChaoticTranquility · 05/05/2013 20:00

Another one here who gets cranky when hungry. Drinking on an empty stomach for that long then eating is likely to make me vomit.

Nehru · 05/05/2013 20:01

The food is a key part for me

ChaoticTranquility · 05/05/2013 20:03

AFAIC, nothing is wrong with a pay bar, although I know some mners frown upon it.

MortifiedAdams · 05/05/2013 20:03

OP, look on the brightside - I usually give in cash roughly what it costs to feed DH and I as a gift. So you can confidently put two sets of £6.95 in the card Grin

tipp2chicago · 05/05/2013 20:09

I'm just going to nip off and see if there's a meal time posted on this wedding invitation we got for next month. The wedding is out forrin', DH is best man, and the bastard venue doesn't have a babysitting service. "Oh but Madam, we can give you a baby monitor". Me: "Have you heard of Madeline McCann by any chance?"

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 20:10

The pay bar goes without saying, there is fuck all being laided on at this wedding other than th buffet. That's why I'm so pissed off. IMO they should just have had family and been done with it but no- more guests means more presents and they have found a way of minimising their outlay so bring it on!

OP posts:
ChaoticTranquility · 05/05/2013 20:13

more guests means more presents

Or in this case more cash

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 20:14

Exactly chaotic it's like a self funding wedding!

OP posts:
WutheringTights · 05/05/2013 20:15

We were invited to a wedding - church only then evening reception. Fair enough, we thought. Except when we got there the wedding was in the middle of nowhere. We'd travelled for four hours to get there, paid for hotels, presents etc and then were sat in the bar while the day guest ate their meal next door. There was nowhere to go, nowhere nearby to eat, and by then we'd all had a drink so couldn't drive. We had thought that the hotel would serve us food as we were guests, but they refused because the kitchen was busy with the wedding breakfast. We eventually persuaded them to do us some sandwiches; I think they agreed because they were worried about spewing guests. I would refuse an invitation to another wedding like that as it's just inconsiderate.

When we got married we couldn't afford to pay for two meals and wine etc for everyone. Rather than skimp on wine or food we decided to get married later on in the day. Our wedding was at 4pm with a full three course sit down meal at 6.30pm. We then served up the wedding cake at about 9pm. We also got married in a city centre so that any guests needing additional/ different food etc had plenty of places to go. It's just basic good manners to look after your guests.

Sparklingbrook · 05/05/2013 20:18

Wuthering that is appalling. Are you still in touch?

My wedding consisted of a church wedding at 3pm followed by a meal for all 18 of us. Then DH and I left them all to it afterwards.

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 05/05/2013 20:22

When I married exdh we went to Florida and didn't celebrate with anyone. It was how we wanted it at the time but we should've had some sort of celebration.

When I marry dp it'll be he, I, his adult DD,her Dp and my dss going somewhere for the wedding (away but in Britain) When back will have a big party for friends and family with oodles of food and some free wine but can't afford free bar. I'm stating no gifts at all though just themselves. But I know some will get us something. Neither of us want anything though just to celebrate. I love a good party Wink

I'd be mortified to leave people hungry all day. A lot of my friends like a good drink so there'd be bodies lying everywhere Grin

LadySlatternlysHoover · 05/05/2013 20:27

yy to M&S carrier bags full of food in wedding photos. Also a couple of KFC family buckets.

ivykaty44 · 05/05/2013 20:28

why don't they have the buffet in the afternoon? why such a big gap between the wedding ceromony and the wedding breakfast?

LadySlatternlysHoover · 05/05/2013 20:29

Juniper we got married in Florida but had a big party when we got home.

If we had taken guests, the time between ceremony and reception would have been over a week Grin

Patosshades · 05/05/2013 20:30

What is everyone going to actually do for the 8 hours hanging about though? Travelling to venue and small talk will do the first couple of hours so only 6 hours to kill Confused

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 20:31

ivy if they had the buffet in the afternoon the evening guests wouldn't get fed so it's a one size fits all buffet which I fully expect won't feed everyone as the venue have stupidly agreed a fixed price rather than pay per head and coincidentally the guest list as suddenly massively increased!

OP posts:
Earlybird · 05/05/2013 20:31

OP - how many guests would you estimate have been invited to the reception?

Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 20:33

patos I wish I knew, we had our service and reception at the same place including a full 3 course meal and was was stil worried that a 3pm service was too early.

OP posts:
Original poster
Buffetblues · 05/05/2013 20:34

early I think it is pushing 200 now including day guests.

OP posts:
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