To think if you have an all day wedding you should have food before 9pm?

[Buffetblues]

We've been invited to a wedding in August the invitation said that, despite the ceremony being at 1.30pm, there will be no food until the buffet at about 9pm?

AIBU to think that if you want to cut catering costs on your wedding day, you don't get married so early? It's seems really selfish to me to have an all day wedding with no food but I'd be quite happy if the service had been at say 4pm?

I'm on holiday at the moment so don't have the exact wording to hand but there was a list of 5 or 6 suggested eateries for lunch before the service as it said the buffet wouldn't be happening until the evening.

The cash request basically said as they had lived together for years they'd decided they didn't need anything that would normally be on a wedding list but would be grateful of cash.

That's even weirder. They are acknowledging that people will be hungry with nothing to do...?

Get some food on the way to the reception place. I would have thought that's what they'd expect. That's why they're telling you not to expect food until 9pm.

Pack the car boot with sandwiches in cool boxes and sell them. You'll make a killing

That does sound incredibly unreasonable and downright selfish of the bride & groom OP - and the blatant money grabbing just makes it even worse.

Much as I would also love live updates from the wedding ;) I wouldn't blame you for deciding not to go. It might cost you bridezilla's friendship but if these are her true colours than I doubt you'll lose much sleep over it! Sounds like your relationship with her has been permanently damaged by all this anyway!

Would it be worth sitting down with her one last time and telling her bluntly that she is being unreasonable and you feel people won't enjoy her wedding if they're ravenous all day and then have to get into a rugby scrum for 2 sausage rolls and a chicken leg? Worst that could happen, you fall out and get uninvited which saves you having to make the decision (or get them a gift, sorry, cash).

Jesus. I feel like a shit host if I haven't fed and watered guests who are only in my house for 15 minutes. What an unbelievably inhospitable and selfish bride and groom.

We couldn't afford to have a sit down meal for everyone we wanted to invite, so we got rid of the sit down meal entirely, had the wedding as late as we could (4.30pm was the last slot of the day) and then had a buffet for all at a venue close by.

But it's 'their day'.

And every time I hear or read this it makes me mad because as far as I'm concerned 'their day' weddings mean the bride and groom should piss off and get married without inviting guests to put with 'their day'.

Guests need to be treated with courtesy and their needs put first. That's why they are g-u-e-s-t-s.

Grrrrrrrrr

If there is no food until 9pm what are you going to be doing all day in between?

There is no way I could last that long without food! What about people with diabetes/health concerns that need to eat? And children (or is it child free?)

If you want to go (which it sounds like you don't) I would go for a meal on the way to the reception venue....

The only children will be the bride and grooms 3 who are bridesmaid/ page boys and I believe they are being fed earlier. I have visions of grown men stealing chips from these poor kids plates as they eat!

Tell us more about their touting for money.

And please, please, don't go to this fecking sham of a wedding or pay a penny to these cheeky feckers.

I have visions of the bride and groom being the only ones at the evening bit plus those who are just invited to the evening as everyone else is at a local eater having a large party without them .

We got married at 4 and had a huge hot and cold buffet at 8. People still whined. Agree 1 til 8 is a bit much though.

My DH just reminded me that at my aunt's wedding there was a whip round for pizza to be delivered once the 2 trays of dinky canapes had disappeared. It's become family legend now but was not so funny at the time.

This isn't a wedding, it's a mugging and YWBVU to go unless you ostentatiously bring a picnic or round up the other guests and head out for a curry.

Aside from the fact that there's no food for 9 hours or whatever (I'd be STARVING!) what on earth are you all supposed to DO for the 9 hours?!
There's going to be a lot of pissed up people falling about all over the place and inhaling the buffet table at 9om...

pm not om!

This justs even more as:

'don't have the exact wording to hand but there was a list of 5 or 6 suggested eateries for lunch before the service as it said the buffet wouldn't be happening until the evening.

TRANSLATES TO: ceremony starts 1.30, so you & all their other very 'welcomed' 'guests' realistically will be...

...rocking up 1ish? 1.15 LATEST. And unless church is RIGHT in middle of a village/town with said 'eateries' ("as we are SO not feeding you; it's your presents we're after, not your presence") immed next to it, it's gotta be, but I'm guessing prob even more, a MINIMUM 15min 'exit eateries/get in car/park car/get arse in pew bank queue' - so to arrive at church on time, you'd be LEAVING 'lunch' at 12.45??!!

Which would mean START 'lunch' at 11.30/45? Which is: A) Brunch not lunch; B) STILL over NINE hours of not eating???

NINE HOURS??!!! - and that's for those who do fork (no pun intended...) out for Brunchlunch first?? Never mind rude, that's frickin obscene and sooooooooooooooooooo RUDE! It's also lethal for anyone's blood sugar levels, and then with alcohol on top??

Tis NUTSVILLE land BB, one would enter at own peril Please, don't risk your passport; your health; or your - SHEDLOADS - of cash (Travel; Brunchlunch; outfits; 'gifts' 'clean £50 notes only please Dear 'Guests' et al)

[OMG, just thought - re cash outlay (yours, obv!), bet it's a pay bar too? So you'll be paying for the privildge of passing out at their fund-raiser wedding too???]

Oh, and I'm sooooo with Xiaoxiong

Never mind feeling appropriate embarrassment at rudeness of NOT offering hospitality, I am always so feckin worried someone might go hungry, or not having stuff they may like, that I cater for bloody England if having peeps over. ALWAYS make too much (as no way would I not make enough!) and then positively FOISTING platefuls of food on guests as they leave too

This wedding has the potential to be the worst ever in mn history.

OP it's very simple. Just bring a nice big cool bag along with you. Fill it with some nice sandwiches and a bit of salad and set up your own little lunch in the corner of the reception.

Watch as you become the most popular people there all of a sudden!

That's why I'm so annoyed about it all stoic the invitation could have been summarised by saying we're too tight to pay for a meal for the all day guests so if you want to eat before hand you can pay for yourselves but it will have to be shortly after you've wiped the crumbs from your breakfast from your mouths and by the way, we'd like you to give us cash for attending our special day!

Just go to the church if it's local and take a token gift like a photo frame.

So are you going or not?

Why bother? Decline and move on.

It's not that easy just to say no though as it will mean permanently falling out with them but I am at the point where it's the only option I can see.