To think if you have an all day wedding you should have food before 9pm?

[Buffetblues]

We've been invited to a wedding in August the invitation said that, despite the ceremony being at 1.30pm, there will be no food until the buffet at about 9pm?

AIBU to think that if you want to cut catering costs on your wedding day, you don't get married so early? It's seems really selfish to me to have an all day wedding with no food but I'd be quite happy if the service had been at say 4pm?

I have learnt so much on MN that I think I might get married again.

DH & I can renew our vows.

We will invite eleventy million people out the phonebook.

We will ask them to donate money via Paypal (not bothered about cards & shit).

They will not be allowed into any church or reception venue. They can simply line the streets and throw rose petals at us as we go past. We might even wave at them if they are lucky.

They will not be fed.

Honestly patos I've been bored to tears with told the minutae of this thing and that's not the plan - we are all going straight to the venue.

Dont take a gift, go to the ceremony & pack a picnic. Stay for the crappy evening do but nobody should give them any money. All the guests should conspire to teach them a lesson in hospitality.

I have been seen a number of times at KFC in my wedding finery, buttonhole, glam outfit, fascinator. Needs must.

LadySlatternly, you have forgotten to insist on a colour scheme and perhaps only invite 2 of each couple's children.

You used to be a friend to me,
Then you somehow couldn't see,
When you invite me to your partee (ouch)
I shouldn't need to pay an entry fee

When it comes to the day you shall be wed
We do all really need to be fed
Unreasonable? NO! MN said
With this in mind I have fled

Thus dear friend, here comes the end
My good wishes I most graciously send

Aww c'mon expat, don't be telling the OP not to go. How else can we find out what happens with the extras guests when they finally let them at the buffet unless the OP goes

OP do you have a phone that you can update us on throughout the day?

Bravo!

Sorry if I've missed it but why can't you do the car picnic suggestion? If it's an hour's drive between the church and reception there's plenty of time to eat as much as you need.

Love it santana I hope you don't have copyright on that as I might just use it!

That's not the point though iborolass I for one would be mortified if I thought my wedding guests had to stop off for a picnic in order to get through the day. The bride and groom should be more considerate of their guests.

Iborolass of course OP can sit in her car in her lovely dress/suit and eat crappy sandwiches, but she shouldn't have to! The fact that it was written on the invitation shows that they know they are being really rude.

santana

Thing is the OP really shouldn't have to be providing herself with a meal/picnic/kfc, except perhaps for a small snack to avoid too many hunger pangs until the meal is served. If you invite a guest to a wedding you should feed them. It doesn't have to be a sit down meal, it could be a buffet, one that doesn't require waiting a third of the day and is per head, so people have enough, not a set amount.

Buffetblues.

I'm afraid you really do have to go to this wedding (armed with food supplies) and then do a live update thread to tell us what it is like!!

Don't go if you are not close to the couple and not happy with the arrangements! I don't like going to weddings of people I'm not close to anyway. I start thinking about divorce stats and get all cynical!

Anyway from what I understand evening guests won't be arriving until 8pm? Is that right? Well isnt that the starting time for the evening do then?

If you have been invited for an earlier time then go early but make sure you get food before you go.

We quite often stop off for a sandwich and drink on the way to the evening venue if there is time to spare or a bit of a journey to get there. I never thought we were unusual doing that. Especially if I plan on drinking I need that food!

If you are worried about fuel costs and eating out costs then reduce your present budget.

I think it all comes down to how close you are I the bride and groom. If you care about them then you would plan accordingly and be more forgiving. If you are not close then just say you are unable to make it.

BuffetBlues And OMG what a GENIUS and apposite name change if that's what you've done

Right, I think you have WHOLLY missed two VITAL points here BBlues ...

1) You CANNOT post the above without some serious deconstruction (is the LAW on MN!!!!!) - E.G. What EXACTLY & PREISELY was the wording on the invite re 'cash" 'gifts' (we NEED to know these details!) And NADA chance of you outing yourself as: i: N/Changed; ii: tragically (just watch ANY Ep. of Four weddings..) Bridezilla is soooo NOT unusual, ergo you can't POSS out yourself by providing the details we NEEEEEDDDD.. & iii: could be ANY of the 200 cash cows'guests' that has posted?

PLEASE - ALL THOSE IN FAVOUR OF NEED FOR MORE DETAIL PLEASE POST AYE!

2) You have a MAHOOSIVE business opportunity here (genuinely!). If were me - under these truly BONKERS circs AND with 'form' - would either: i: liase with a local chippy to rock up in their van (most decent chippies do outside catering as well as front counter) at about 2.30/3.30 at venue but INSIST on a cut of profits OR: ii) would LADEN my car with M&S goodies and invite flog/recoup costs + margin;) ALL other starving guests to partake.

Details OF ALL Buffet - provide!!! Tis MN LAW

I dont follow what you are meant to actually do all day - its the meal that constitutes the afternoon bit!

I read that evening guests are not invited till 8pm

The ceremony is at 1.30. There is also an hour travel time to the evening venue. So people will start to get to the evening venue at 3.30 and there will only be nibbles provided until the buffet at 9pm. That is a very long time? Are you sure you are expected at the evening venue so early?

I read this and assume that the afternoon/early evening is a more casual time and I doesnt matter if you arrive at later after having some food. You could even arrive at 8pm if that is when the evening only guests arrive.

If I was invited I would either phone the bride for clarification on what is happening between 3.30 and 8pm or I would just arrive later after having food.

I think the couple have assumed people will eat before they get there.

Definitely eat as they may run out of food!

Santana

I love this thread. When Is the wedding op ? You have to go and keep us updated. Tis only fair after getting us all so excited.

Ouch. Packed lunch in the car definitely.

Trouble with 1.30 ceremony is that you have to eat really early to be seated in time.

What the hell are they going to be doing for the six hours between arriving at the venue and eating? Is it going to be one of those weddings where the bride and groom fuck off for eight squillion arty photos while the guests die of boredom?

Last wedding I went to was ExP's best mate's - ExP was the best man, so I was locked in for the whole day (prise Ex out of bed to get him down to the groom's house, sort breakfast while he was showering/shaving/etc, rush to town because we'd forgotten to get a card, etc, etc, etc). I think the wedding was about 1pm - wedding breakfast served about 2.30pm. I helped with preparing the room for the change between day guests & night guests (showing up the "fit" lads who were working in pairs to move a tbles at a time while all 5'2" of me was carrying a table by myself in a dress and 2.5"heels). I then nipped home to change shoes because the heels where starting to pinch and got back at 6ish for the evening do where the buffet we served about 7.30. I thought it went quite well myself and decided that when my time came that that was a pretty good blue print for how to arrange the day.

It's so true though - for guests, a wedding is about the food/drink. Unless something very unusual happens, what guests remember even the day after is what they personally did, so who they sat with, what they ate, and how drunk they got on what. They won't remember what readings there were, or what colour the flowers were.

If it isn't about the party, why have a party?