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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fiancé double booking me

116 replies

Missy44 · 04/05/2013 22:40

AIBU? I've been working really hard lately so planned to spend some quality time with my man this weekend. We decided we'd go out tonight, we didn't put firm plans as to where or what time but we'd been talking all week about it.

Yesterday, his friend (a new father) text to invite fiancé out to wet his baby's head. My fiancé asked me if I wanted to go too and I agreed, so he set about texting his friend to 'ask' if I can go out.

Said friend replied this afternoon. He said no, our new mother friend is breast feeding and couldn't join us and she's only happy with the guys going out tonight.

So, fiancé has now left me at home while he's gone out. None of my friends were available at such short notice and I'm feeling bored and pee'd off. I don't understand why fiancé has to gain permission for me to go out, I am also annoyed that I've been left without plans when I was fancying a long overdue night out and feeling let down because this isn't the first time I've been in this kind of situation. I'm quietly stewing but please share your opinions to let me know if I'm over reacting or perfectly reasonable. Thanks

OP posts:

Sickofthesnow · 05/05/2013 12:23

You COULD have gone to spend time with the new mother since you are friends?
Bit of friendly female company whilst the men are out "wetting the baby's head" could have been just what she needed, and would also have stopped you feeling left out.

Original poster

Missy44 · 05/05/2013 13:13

Thanks for all of your comments. We moved out from the city to a more rural area to bring up our family. My fiance drove into the city but ended up drinking and had to get a taxi home. As for today, I had arranged special tickets for him to meet his favourite football team today but dp is annoyed at me because he feels that I shouldn't have said anything about him going out to wet his friends baby's head so is taking his father instead.

For those who find socialising easy when you have a small toddler, a full time job and not a great deal of available childcare that's great, but its not my situation.

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 05/05/2013 13:37

So not only did he stand you up last night, he has repeated his behaviour today - plus with the extra salt-in-the-wound that you are paying for it? Unbefuckinglievable! OP, your fiancé is a prince amongst men (not).

Why do you stand for this?

AmberSocks · 05/05/2013 13:41

wetting a babys head? what does that even mean?do people really do that?when i had mine dhs friends came to our house to say congrats to us both there was no going out for drinks,men only,what a load of old bullshit.

QuintessentialOHara · 05/05/2013 15:35

Do you really want to marry this guy?

RenterNomad · 05/05/2013 16:14

He dumped you again today? Bloody hell, ust put the wedding on hold while you sort your relationship out, as he's giving you loads of cause to resent him.

Maybe the compromise could involve moving back to the city/ town, where you will be less isolated (you're the one lacking childcare: he's got you). We moved to the 'burbs a couple of years ago, and I miss our old neighbourhood terribly.

Numberlock · 05/05/2013 17:31

In that case, last night wasn't a one off and he's prone to sulking when challenged. Get rid.

squoosh · 05/05/2013 17:34

He's punishing you today because you were annoyed with him.

Sounds like a prize.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 05/05/2013 18:35

The thing is, OP, your fiancé didn't ask you if you minded him going as you and he had plans, he asked you if you wanted to go (without checking first with his mate).

Now he is saying YABU for saying anything about going along? That doesn't make sense. And the football thing today sounds petty on his part.

grobagsforever · 05/05/2013 19:11

Horrible behavior. Are you ok op? Is this typical?

TheSecondComing · 05/05/2013 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 05/05/2013 20:19

do you two get on,do you like each other?

2rebecca · 05/05/2013 22:21

This is bizarre. I would have refused to give him the tickets if he wasn't going to be spending time with me. If you have a small toddler and limited childcare how were you going to go out anyway?
Are you just planning to marry this bloke because you've already had a child? You don't seem to like each other much and he seems to be using pathetic excuses to avoid spending time with you.
Who were you talking to about him wetting the babies head anyway? If he gets shirty about you chatting on mumsnet anonymously it doesn't bode well.
I'd be cancelling the wedding until you can talk to each other and he shows he wants to spend some time with you.

cumfy · 06/05/2013 00:57

Well you chose the right solution.

whatamardarse · 06/05/2013 01:14

YANBU . Your bloke should have said I have made plans with missy.

New mums fella was taking piss leaving her holding baby while he went out on piss!! Why the hell is this misses fault ? She didn't know new mum wasn't going .

Don't be a quiet seether, honestly , if your fucked off or font like done thing get in the habit of saying so. Me and DH were brutally honest with each other in beginning and it worked wonders! Keeping your mouth shut to keep him happy will only lead to you being unhappy .

whatamardarse · 06/05/2013 01:15

Don't like some thing ---- sorry fat swollen fingers!

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