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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about childcare costs stopping me training to be a nurse?

45 replies

salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 09:52

I know I am, but I had to leave Uni because my childcare fell through, I was doing Nursing and as DH works shifts my mother offered to have the children at night etc, then she changed her mind so I had to leave. We decided to have another child who I love with all my heart, but I still feel sad that there is no hope for me to re-apply or even do another course as we simply can not afford childcare cost even though our 2 DD's are at school, our DS is only 2 this month and we would still have childcare for DD2 after school to sort out etc. I am 38 this year so not really got a lot of time left to retrain, if I had not left I would be looking for a nursing job now I think its really hit home, 5 other people had children the same time as we had our DS and 4 managed to stay with childcare help from parents/partner.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 03/05/2013 10:34

Train when your youngest starts school. It will still be tough but childcare will cost a lot less. You'll only be 43, and we have older nursing students than that. Take the next 5 years to become an expert in waiting!

Do not give up.

It's just not a good time right now. You'll need to work out who will have the children if your shifts clash, that sounds like the biggest challenge.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 10:41

Thank you,think its hurting as I would have handed my last paperwork in like all my friends and be looking for a job.
I know the age isnt that big an issue, its the fact I was there and I was doing really well when the childcare issue came up and I had to leave, I spoke to Uni and they said I could re apply but the fact I left once already will go against me and we only have 2 Uni's I can get to that have the course so will have to apply to both if I do find a way to return x

OP posts:
karkhat · 03/05/2013 10:41

Have you checked whether you can get help with childcare costs? I got a bursary to pay for nursery when I was at uni. It's worth asking your student advice centre to see what they can help with.

Meerkatwhiskers · 03/05/2013 10:44

I agree wait until DS is at school and apply again. Do bursary not pay childcare costs? I don't have DC yet so no idea. One of my friends had issues with bursary this year and childcare costs this year I know that much. Same friend is mid 40's so it's never to late.

Can you do bank hca work in the meantime to keep your experience up? Or get a permanent hca in outpatients or somewhere with regular family friendly hours with the view to being sponsored further down the line. More money that way.

ENormaSnob · 03/05/2013 10:44

I was a single mum when I did nursing at uni.

I got a part time job that enabled me to claim tax credit help towards childcare.

Some weeks I was working 70 hours but it was worth it in the end.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 10:46

I would get 2 yrs worth of bursary at my original Uni and 3 at the other as its a 4 yr course there, I am in Scotland, but childcare will be around £1300+ per mth and I would get the standard amount so would still need to find £600-£700+ per mth, we do not qualify for any help due to how much DH earns

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 03/05/2013 10:48

I am slightly annoyed with the Uni they didn't offer you an interruption of studies?

It MIGHT be possible to APEL your completed modules over to a new course, though I'm not sure with Pre-Registration Nurising if that's possible.

Keep all the evidence that you were doing really well, this will certainly help if you re-apply. They will probably want to be certain you won't leave for the same reasons, so for the next 5 years (!) research some watertight childcare.

The problem with nursing as opposed to any other course is that you're out on practice a lot, so holding down another job isn't always possible.

Stay in touch with your Uni - student support and guidence will help you even if you're not still a student.

Meerkatwhiskers · 03/05/2013 10:48

BTW there is a 2nd year student nurse at Kingston uni who is 78. We interviewed together but I went to a different uni. Not sure if anyone will give him a job at the end but good on him lol.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 10:48

ENormaSnob, we can not get any help towards childcare, hats off to you managing shifts/uni and work with no help, we struggle as we have no one to help us on lates/earlys and nights x
Meerkatwhiskers, bursary is around £550ish per month, I would still need to find around £600ish for childcare x

OP posts:
Featherbag · 03/05/2013 10:51

I worked as a bank HCA all through my training, I've been qualified over 3 years now and it was worth every 70 hour week I did! That wasn't every week by any stretch, but sometimes it was necessary so I did it. You can earn almost £200 doing a 13 hour Sunday shift, and mentors are always happy to accommodate a student working PT when looking at off-duty. You CAN do it, it won't be easy but it will be worth it. Do get back quickly though, AFAIK there's a time limit on finishing once you've started!

Meerkatwhiskers · 03/05/2013 10:58

I presume with APEL it depends if the OP was on the diploma or bot previously as its now degree only so it wouldn't count if she was a diploma student before.

I'm Sept 11 cohort and my uni went degree only in Sept 12 so being a diploma student I can only take 6 months out if needed as there are no other cohorts behind. The March 12 cohort are the last diploma cohort so have no fall back I don't think.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:00

Gah, typed a long message and the site went down!

Nope, not offered an IOS, friend was a few months after though.

Featherbag, my DH works shifts and most weekends so not so easy for me, 13 hours childcare for 3 children on a sunday would be way more than I could earn, trust me, if it was possible I would be doing it.
I have already been away too long and would need to re apply to Uni, and also re do some exams as I did an access course and apparently I would need to show some recent study x

OP posts:
Meerkatwhiskers · 03/05/2013 11:00

They have changed the bursary in England now OP. Some people get less than that I think. That's why I am glad I'm doing the diploma.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:01

I was Sept 2010 cohort so diploma, Uni now does 1 intake a year and its degree only.

OP posts:
Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:02

I am Scotland so slightly different here x

OP posts:
Featherbag · 03/05/2013 11:10

Could your DH not look at changing his working patterns to support you, even temporarily? Childcare should be a joint responsibility, not you fitting in around his hours. Remember bank work is literally as and when - there will always be shifts available, whenever you are free to do one there will be one to do, you can easily make £600pm even without Sundays!

NotALondoner · 03/05/2013 11:18

Meerkat - a 78 year old? Is that a typing mistake? What is the point of that? The NHS is paying out money to train a 78 year old???

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:22

His job means he can not change shifts,part of his job is to cover shifts that no one else can cover, plus he gets sent away quite a few times a year to teach courses/go to courses and also works away for a few months twice a year.
I would do bank work for sure, just wouldnt want to budget that in as that would be a bonus rather than an given x

OP posts:
Meerkatwhiskers · 03/05/2013 11:24

Nope not a typing mistake. There was an article about him somewhere. Will see if I can find it. Thought he was having a laugh when I saw him at interview then saw the article and thought omg.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:32

We had a few 50 yr olds on our course who did better than the 20+ yr olds x

OP posts:
Featherbag · 03/05/2013 11:33

I had no choice but to factor bank work into our budget - without it we couldn't have paid the rent. There are always reasons not to do something if it's going to be hard but in my experience if you want something badly enough you'll make it happen! There's a way around every potential problem if you look hard enough and are prepared to be creative!

Xenia · 03/05/2013 11:36

What about a live in au pair for the nights? You could move the children into your bed room to free up a room. It will not cost much and you could take a weekend job to pay for it if it cannot be managed out of current finances.

Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:43

I know it looks like I am making excuses, but facts are DH can not change his hours, they can differ week to week so we would have to pay for childcare even if not using it, I would hope to gain a place 2014, children would be 14/10 and 3, so still need childcare for before/after school for 2 children, plus daytime childcare for 1, then if I had 6am starts (did before) and DH had the same we would have no one in the house from 5am for the children, same if I finished 10pm and DH wasnt home till then, no one home for the children.
My mother refuses to help out, DH father would not help, his mother lives 3 hours away and wouldnt help anyway. I would not feel happy leaving DD1 to look after her DB/DS first thing/last thing so would need to have a babysitter who could come early/stay late.
I am going to sit down and look at how much childcare will actually cost, if we can cut back anything etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
salemsparklys · 03/05/2013 11:44

Going to look into that x

OP posts:
Binkybix · 03/05/2013 11:46

Sorry, I've not read whole thread, so may be repeating. In the last few years my friend qualified to be a nurse through a course that broke up during the holidays for precisely this reason - it took 4 years instead of 3. Don't know if it's area specific, but worth looking into?