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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did I do it the wrong way round.?

33 replies

Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 22:40

Ok I really need a second opinion on this one please and apologies for going on a bit. . We have a weekend away planned leaving tomorrow straight from work. DH takes the knock with me tonight cos I have not spent any time with him. My night went like this. Straight from work to doctor with DD2 but no worries she ok and we home by 5.15.Gave kids tea and washed the car as it was filthy and wanted to look half decent for going away tomo. DH in from work 6.45 our tea on table ,kids bathed and ready for bed.Need food shopping for weekend and also to go to clinic for pill . Clinic open from 6.30 til 8. (necessary trip as on last pack of pill ) . Usually takes 45 mins so planned to go shopping after that and home by 9. Arrived at clinic at 7. Clinic busy and understaffed so only home from there at 10 to 9. Still need food shopping so,had to go supermarket. Home at 9.50 .DH angry said I should have gone food shopping straight after doctors instead of wash car. Didnt want to do supermarket straight from docs as like to feed kids early and give bath ready for bed before 7 as knew I had to be out sharpish to get to clinic. Usually if there early its quite quick.Please can I have your opinions.

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 02/05/2013 22:42

Did he help? If not, tell him to piss off and do it himself next time.

MagicHouse · 02/05/2013 22:43

Hmm seriously.... I would be taking my friends away from the weekend instead of dh!! Ungrateful git!

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 22:46

No he didn't help but did not expect him to.he put the kids to bed while I was gone. Tea dishes still in sink unwashed when I returned. He in work today from early til 6.30. I got blame for incorrect priorities.

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 02/05/2013 22:47

If he doesn't help then he has not earned the right to comment/moan. Again, tell him to piss off.

AngryGnome · 02/05/2013 22:50

Well if you had agreed that these were the things you were responsible for doing, then surely it is up to you when you do them? He is BU.

MagicHouse · 02/05/2013 22:50

Seriously? You have spent your entire evening rushing here, there and everywhere to make sure you have a lovely break away together, and he moans at you for the order you did it in??? I agree with LadyMary - tell him to piss off.

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 22:55

thanks . . The washing of the car was (as I thought) an added bonus as I expected to be longer at docs. Thought I'd wash it while kids tea in oven. They washed too and loved it. DH and I do spend every evening together normally as we both home from work usually before 5. Thursdays always different but only night clinic available.

OP posts:
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 02/05/2013 22:56

I'd go away by myself and have a break. It sounds as though he needs to spend a few days doing all that you do, it may make the penny drop.

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 23:01

Thanks lady Mary. I'm sure he wil be ok tomorrow. he went to bed in a sulk after telling me I was a gobshite .feel quite down but don't feel I was wrong.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 02/05/2013 23:03

he sounds clingy and needy.. that would do my head in. yanbu

LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 02/05/2013 23:03

Shock He said what? He really isn't coming across very well. Is he usually this rude to you? Sad

ThereGoesTheYear · 02/05/2013 23:14

I'm struggling to see how anyone could be annoyed at you. You ran round all evening getting things done for the family. You weren't out dancing! He obviously had his feet up rather than helping you, and now he has the hump with you? Because you didn't stay in with him? And now he calls you names? He doesn't sound very nice.

StuntGirl · 02/05/2013 23:18

"feel quite down but don't feel I was wrong"

Because you weren't.

He sounds like a tool. Please stop defending him.

ExitPursuedByABear · 02/05/2013 23:22

He called you a gobshite Shock

No way would I be going anywhere with him.

He seems to have done jackshit whilst you have run yourself ragged.

Twat

Laquitar · 02/05/2013 23:24

When the food was in the oven i wouldn't wash the car. I would mn.
He is very unreasonable. Don#t feed his sulking.

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 23:24

still have to pack the kids stuff for weekend away now before work and school run tomo as too late to do it when got home before. Hoped to chat with DH About what food to buy for weekend when I came in from clinic but he in such a mood he just told me to buy whatever and he didn't care. worst thing is if we don' t have the right food it will be my fault cos I did the shopping. When I came home from supermarket he barely spoke . I Tried to chat about weather for weekend making conversation cos I could tell he was annoyed. he practically ignored me and went to bed.thanks for messages ladies. I feel a little better.

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 02/05/2013 23:31

Is this a frequent occurance?

RiaOverTheRainbow · 02/05/2013 23:31

Does he act like this often?

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 02/05/2013 23:46

Yes it is happening more lately. I forget stuff which drives him mad.I am really scatty and getting worse. Just a busy mum prob trying to do too much at once eh?

OP posts:
RiaOverTheRainbow · 02/05/2013 23:50

You really really aren't the problem.

StuntGirl · 02/05/2013 23:52

What Ria said, with bells on.

goodasgold · 02/05/2013 23:54

Why are you standing for your partner/husband to make you feel unhappy. I would have said to him 'shut up you silly old man'

You sound nice, your dh sounds like a dick. Not a busy mum, I'm a busy mum, most men try to be equal partners to the mothers of their children. I think that is normal.

Laquitar · 02/05/2013 23:59

Maybe you forget stuff because you are panickng about his criticism?

Original poster
Loveagoodbargain · 03/05/2013 00:09

He generally is a really good husband and dad.we all love him even though he can be a nark. I am worried that I am doing his head in by doing things like tonight. He says I should have not washed car and gone to supermarket early so we could have spent evening together and tomorrow he'll make me think I was wrong to have done stuff this way round. Car will get mucky on motorway anyway he wil say. he will prob go to work without even speaking to me in the morning. Not looking forward to tomorrow. I'm glad you think I did not do anything wrong. t's nice to have another opinion on the matter.sometimes doubt myself and my judgement. Thank you

OP posts:
thebody · 03/05/2013 00:16

I would cancel the weekend away to be honest.

My dh would never talk to me like this, and I am a massive pain in the arse first to admit it, but its called respect and love.

Sorry but you are letting him walk on you and wipe his princely feet.

Unless he apologises I wouldn't go. And I mean grovels.