in sending out invitations to a birthday party that are really wedding invitations?

[bouncychair]

DP and I have been engaged a while. He has a big birthday coming up later in the year and we've been thinking about planning a fake surprise party for him which will actually be our wedding day. If we go ahead it will be a church wedding followed by a big party in a field with a marquee.

I really don't want turn into a bridezilla and spend the next 6 months talking to everyone about wedding planning. The only person we would tell is my mum because I'm her only daughter and she is really exicited about helping me plan my wedding.

My only concern is that people might not make as much effort for a birthday as they might for a wedding and say that they can't make it. DP's argument is that if they aren't going to make an effort for his birthday then why should we invite them to our wedding?

So would IBU sending out invites for a surprise party when it's really a wedding?

ryanboy, at the risk of offending the OP who does seem nice and everything, I don't like the "we tricked you all!" aspect, but I do accept that I might just be an old grumpus.

I can see your logic, but to play devils advocate, my only reservation would be that people really do make a bit more effort to be at a wedding than say a birthday party. Whilst I do enjoy a good birthday party, if the date is awkward I would generally ask the friend if I could do something with them another day, but for a wedding I would really try hard to get to it, being the most special day of your friends life. Birthdays come round every year after all.

If you are ok with a few not turning up because they couldn't cancel a weekend away (not realising), then go for it and I hope you have a wonderful day :)