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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they did this on purpose? PIL related

302 replies

Dannilion · 02/05/2013 16:01

Bit of background..

PIL's are shit with money. They have had failed business after failed business, declared themselves bankrupt, borrowed £££££'s from friends as investments, asked DH to launder money for them etc.

FIL is nice enough, just made some very silly decisions as well as being on the receiving end of some very bad luck. MIL are very different but get on on a surface level.

Anyways, a few months ago PIL's came round and asked if they could open a bank account in DH's name in order to receive their wages or something as due to their bankruptcy they were struggling with doing so. DH said no, as it was obviously illegal and he is also self employed and didn't want to be investigated. Also PFB was due and we were worried about the effect it would have on us when it came to claiming tax credits etc. Not that we should have had to have given a reason for not wanting to partake in this, but we had plenty.

Fast forward to them coming to visit the baby last week and bringing some letters for him that had arrived at their address. He gets the odd one every so often. He opens one and it's from Santander, thanking him for opening a new account. He never opened a new account with them, ever.

PIL's were very quick to say 'oh your father opened an account with them but they did it in the wrong name by accident, never mind all sorted now etc' and changed the subject.

I just can't see how a bank could open an account in the wrong name for someone who hasn't lived at that address in years. All his other mail comes here so if there is some sort of grand database it would had him at our home address surely?

I haven't broached this with DH yet as it would be devastating for him. But AIBU to think that they have probably gone ahead and opened a bank account in his name? Obviously if they have we will have to deal with it ASAP.

OP posts:
sicutlilium · 02/05/2013 21:37

Perhaps someone should email a link to this thread to www.actionfraud.police.uk/

Hissy · 02/05/2013 21:40

I'm so sorry, this is just awful for you both. It's like lobbing a hand grenade in the middle of the family.

OP, you know how this is going to go down, don't you? Stay calm. Stay very cool and just think things through. Your poor H is going to need all the support you can give him.

DontmindifIdo · 02/05/2013 21:44

I'd calmly tell your DH that if he believes his mother, then ok, so a massive mistake has been made by Santandar, you are entitled to compensation, they should be able to show the ID that the account was opened with and see that it's got different dates of birth and name on it - so he needs to call them back or go in tomorrow (not waiting until Saturday) and start a complaint. Your MIL doesn't need to point out who opened the account, it'll be on their files as she'll have got commission on it.

If he really really believes his mother, he'll do this now, if he doesn't, you're taking it as proof he doesn't and is trying to keep his mum out of trouble. He can't have it both ways, either he is a victim of an almighty fuck up by the bank and they should be made to pay for their mistake, or his parents did this deliberately.

gallicgirl · 02/05/2013 21:46

Not read all of thread so apologies if someone has mentioned this already. Is your FIL an undischarged bankrupt? If so, you might want to speak to their official receiver. They might have opened a bank account in your husband's name just because it's more convenient to have a current account, but if that's the case there are a couple if banks that do basic accounts for bankrupts. It would concern me more that they either want an overdraft facility it they're hiding money from the OR. Given the other behaviour, I think it's the latter.

breatheslowly · 02/05/2013 21:47

Your DH really needs to go to Santander on his own or with you, not with his mother. Does he bank with Santander? It is much easier to open an additional account with somewhere that already has your ID than to open a new one.

Khaleese · 02/05/2013 21:48

Words fail me. The most shameful behaviour.

You can't trust them, you know that. I would be pressing santander for a full investigation. Let them deal with this.

You must get the flags put against yourselves.

Original poster
Dannilion · 02/05/2013 21:51

MIL is saying that no I.D was asked for, the girl just rushed it through, realized her mistake and then got her manager to cancel it.

Only it hasn't been cancelled.

If this is actually true there must be a prize for the worlds biggest coincidence ever.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 02/05/2013 21:52

That just isn't true. Banks don't let you open accounts without ID.

breatheslowly · 02/05/2013 21:54

And it is very difficult to forget your own name and DoB but coincidentally remember your son's and think they are your details. Perhaps your FIL needs to go to see a doctor for to have his memory checked.

breatheslowly · 02/05/2013 21:55

Banks seem to want a form of photo ID and proof of address. So there is a real risk that they have bills coming in his name to provide the proof of address, this is very likely to be the tip of the iceberg.

Mimishimi · 02/05/2013 21:56

I really wouldn't take anything your MIL has to say about the matter into account. Neither should your DH given their history.

YellowDinosaur · 02/05/2013 21:56

So no id was asked for?

How does mil explain the fact they have your dh's dob on the account then? Because if they didn't ask for Id she's not only given them the wrong name but also date of birth. So either way she has fraudulently opened the account. I would actually bet my mortgage on this.

This is total and utter Bollocks. Your dh needs to go into the branch tomorrow first thing without mil and ask for this to be investigated. As others have said if he wants to believe this is a fuck up by the bank then that is fine but either way it needs investigating. And now.

fuzzpig · 02/05/2013 21:57

I will eat every sodding hat, scarf and glove in the house if this was a mistake. Absolute bollocks.

Fuck, it's terrifying to think they have done this to you. Absolutely horrible. I hope they are arrested for fraud, I really do. This will only get worse.

BlueberryHill · 02/05/2013 21:58

Bollocks, I was an auditor for a bank, utter, utter, bollocks. She is lying, she is going to be found out.

Ignore what she says.

What did your DH say to Santander, did he say that he didn't open the account and asked them to investigate? If he didn't, he should. You need ID to open an account, either they had it and the assistant didn't check it correctly or she acted in collusion with them. I think it is the former, but Santander need to investigate. If may implicate your PIL but tough, they are talking shit to try to get out of it.

Triumphoveradversity · 02/05/2013 22:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 02/05/2013 22:01

Then if they didn't ask for any ID, then they won't have any on file. Get DH to call back without his mum there and talk to them. tomorrow if need be, or go into branch tomorrow, he needs to get this sorted, because he has a good case for complaint against Santandar. They must be asked to investigate.

newbiefrugalgal · 02/05/2013 22:02

Bloody hell

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 02/05/2013 22:02

Had a rethink. I would go to the police tonight and then when you go to Santander in the morning, you will have the details of the investigating officer two they can get in touch with. I really wouldn't sit on this any longer as the PILs could be doing all sorts online right now.

natwebb79 · 02/05/2013 22:03

I went into my bank with DH to be last week to turn my account into a joint account. Even with me present he had to provide photo ID and proof of address. We both had to go through a Rainforest's worth of paper and both sign it. I had to redo my signature to prove that I was the account holder. Seriously, they are talking out of their backsides and need to be reported. So sorry OP.

BabylonReturns · 02/05/2013 22:06

Wow :(

Not good.

cozietoesie · 02/05/2013 22:06

Danillion

I think that regardless of what may have happened here (and I've made my own views clear) your DH and your relationship with his parents is now damaged beyond repair if only from this incident.

Myself I think that's a good thing from all that you have said including the events previous to this.

It does also mean that you can just go for it, tomorrow. There's nothing left to protect.

Ledkr · 02/05/2013 22:07

So not only are they trying to screw her own son over but trying to lose some poor fucker her job too. Nice people.
Op id be concerned that his inability to see the truth despite such damning evidence will prevail no matter what?
Why did they not say what had happened when they saw the letter come to your house?

LunaticFringe · 02/05/2013 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CSIJanner · 02/05/2013 22:10

Call the police and then goto Santander first thing in the morning with the letter. It's v clear that nothing's been cancelled. Inform them of the officers name who you have reported the potential fraudto and demand to see all documentation pertaining to your husband under the Data Protection Act 1998.

Double check your credit scores etc tonight to see if a credit account has been taken out against either of your names. And I am really sorry to suggest this, but also check against the name of your newborn. People can get to rock bottom and sink low. Set alerts against all credit check accounts so that you will be notified the moment a credit check for an account goes against any of your names.

If its Santanders mistake, then you get payout. If it is unfortunately the PIL's then I'm sorry, but they asked, DH said no and they went ahead. A lesson needs to be learned before they start using their grandchild for credit checks as well.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 02/05/2013 22:11

i agree with wibbly... there are a lot of hours between now and saturday. they know they've been found out... they could do anything in that time