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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they did this on purpose? PIL related

302 replies

Dannilion · 02/05/2013 16:01

Bit of background..

PIL's are shit with money. They have had failed business after failed business, declared themselves bankrupt, borrowed £££££'s from friends as investments, asked DH to launder money for them etc.

FIL is nice enough, just made some very silly decisions as well as being on the receiving end of some very bad luck. MIL are very different but get on on a surface level.

Anyways, a few months ago PIL's came round and asked if they could open a bank account in DH's name in order to receive their wages or something as due to their bankruptcy they were struggling with doing so. DH said no, as it was obviously illegal and he is also self employed and didn't want to be investigated. Also PFB was due and we were worried about the effect it would have on us when it came to claiming tax credits etc. Not that we should have had to have given a reason for not wanting to partake in this, but we had plenty.

Fast forward to them coming to visit the baby last week and bringing some letters for him that had arrived at their address. He gets the odd one every so often. He opens one and it's from Santander, thanking him for opening a new account. He never opened a new account with them, ever.

PIL's were very quick to say 'oh your father opened an account with them but they did it in the wrong name by accident, never mind all sorted now etc' and changed the subject.

I just can't see how a bank could open an account in the wrong name for someone who hasn't lived at that address in years. All his other mail comes here so if there is some sort of grand database it would had him at our home address surely?

I haven't broached this with DH yet as it would be devastating for him. But AIBU to think that they have probably gone ahead and opened a bank account in his name? Obviously if they have we will have to deal with it ASAP.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 02/05/2013 21:08

yep, if they were using ID from FIL, it might get opened with the wrong first name, but not the wrong DOB, she might also have typed in the wrong DOB, but to get the right one for your DH seems a little much of a coinsidence. Ask her to explain that, because you're going to be putting in a formal complaint to Santander and will need both of them to go in to make the complaint too.

Get a full credit report, find out what else might be going on.

Original poster
Dannilion · 02/05/2013 21:09

Nope theirs names are different, and don't get me started on the 30+ year age gap.

I don't believe it. I wish I could. MIL has offered to take DH into the branch and point out the woman on Saturday so DH is holding out until then, and asking me how I'm going to react if it's all proven to be an innocent mistake. Hmm

OP posts:
myBOYSareBONKERS · 02/05/2013 21:10

what UTTER crap!! I do hope your DH is not sucked in. Feel so sorry for him BUT his own family is at risk now and he needs to realise how serious this is and the ongoing implications it could have for you.

cozietoesie · 02/05/2013 21:10

MIL is the eminence grise in that relationship is she?

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 02/05/2013 21:11

Your DH is in denial. They have clearly set out to open an account in his name.

However, I'd also be calling the Santander processes into question as if they went into a branch and managed to open an account as they claim, Santander have broken a number of rules around money laundering by not carrying out appropriate identity checks. My DF is a bank auditor so knows this stuff backwards - trust me, Santander have messed up big time here too and you have recourse against them as well as the parents if this is all accurate.

More to the point though - what a shitty way to treat your own child. Your poor DH. I'm not surprised you're having trouble convincing him of his parents' dishonesty. But they have stolen his identity! Shocking.

Go to the police and get it sorted before you're any further along with the pregnancy and cut that toxic pair our of your lives. If they're prepared to risk your whole family's financial future, they're not worth the time of day.

AudreyParker · 02/05/2013 21:12

They are criminals and they do not give the tiniest shit about either of you, or your dc.

Bastards.

myBOYSareBONKERS · 02/05/2013 21:12

and when he goes to the branch on Saturday he can ask to see the copies of the documents that the account was opened with

BlueberryHill · 02/05/2013 21:13

What is pointing out the woman going to achieve? Will your DH be able to talk to here about opening an account, one of many in the past month or so?

Different names, DOB? Don't they get them from the set forms of ID, due to anti money laundering legislation, banks have to be shit hot on this and get all the relevant forms of ID so that the account opened is for the person in front of them. One question worth asking is whether the cashier looked at the DOB and wondered if your FIL had been living it large for ages to have aged 30+ years.

lisaro · 02/05/2013 21:14

You need to ask your husband if he'll still be in denial when YOU and HE are in the dock charged with tax credit fraud. Sorry, there's no way around this - he needs to soeak to Santander tonight, and get this sorted. And any money in the account would be frozen, as it's not his by his own admission. You BOTH need to check your full credit history immediately. Once again - will he only take note when bailiffs are at the door?

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 02/05/2013 21:14

And quite honestly, if your DH can't - or won't - see what his parents have done, then you need to question whether you want your children brought up in this kind of environment. If fraud, identity theft and such a hideous level of deception won't make your DH see sense, where would he draw the line?

ENormaSnob · 02/05/2013 21:15

What a load of shit.

I would be letting the police and the fraud team deal with it.

Original poster
Dannilion · 02/05/2013 21:16

cozie - MIL is the spokesperson. DH thinks FIL is the eminence grise behind this, as he has form for these sort of ideas.

I clearly don't know wtf goes through anyones heads these days.

OP posts:
BlueberryHill · 02/05/2013 21:16

Have you run credit checks, including on your PILs address?

Get the CIFAS flag put on your name / address so that additional checks are run if anyone tries to take out credit in your name. PP gave all the details, we had it on ours, a complete pain in the ass at times but it was great for peace of mind.

Protect yourself, it doesn't matter if your DH does / doesn't believe them, get this in place yourself. Please.

They are utter bastards, who could lie to their child like that.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 02/05/2013 21:23

dont most accounts have a security question attatched too them? dm's mainden name, favourite place, favorite word etc?? would be interesting to see if there is one attatched to this one.

i dont know what going to the bank to find the woman is going to do. for starters, she's probably seen 1000's of people since the account was opened and wont remember anyway

Mimishimi · 02/05/2013 21:24

It's imperative that you get those credit reports ASAP regardless of what your MIL says about use of the accounts. They sound like they feel entitled because they 'own' their son. As much as your DH doesn't want to believe that they could do this, it's going to feel so much worse for him if he gets legally implicated in their financial misdeeds. You need to find out the full scope of the false transactions and then report them for fraud. As a PP said, it's much easier when it's obviously organized crime than when it's family - the authorities will not look upon you kindly if they discover you have known for quite some time.

StuntGirl · 02/05/2013 21:24

What a shitty thing to do to anyone let alone your own family Angry

If I were your husband I would go to the bank and demand to see what documents were used to open the account. When he sees it in black and white he won't be able to deny it any longer.

As well as closing the account, alerting the fraud team and getting a credit check I would be looking into where and how I can report Santander for this spectacular breach of security.

cozietoesie · 02/05/2013 21:25

Aw Heck, Dannilion. All I know is that she's reacting all wrong for innocence (leaving aside any facts) - but frankly, they sound so messed up that judging their reactions to your DH by normal standards is probably less than useful.

Go to the police - and don't wait until Saturday! Who knows what could happen tomorrow. (Why did she even suggest Saturday anyway. Anybody I know would have been banging on the bank door at 08.30.)

Wibblypiglikesbananas · 02/05/2013 21:26

And if I was the woman in the bank who'd set this account up, I wouldn't want to admit to it as my job would now be on the line. It won't take the police long to investigate and discover this though. At the very least, she's looking at a disciplinary - at worst, getting fired for failing to implement money laundering identity theft checks properly.

zzzzz · 02/05/2013 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Snazzynewyear · 02/05/2013 21:28

As myBOYS says, tell them that when they visit the branch DH can check the documentation used when opening the account so that he can refer to that in the official complaint he will be making to Santander.

Get the redirection of mail done yesterday. And if there is no option other than sending a letter to the 'former' address, then you'll need to send one yourself to test it is working, or ring the Post Office and at least partially explain the situation.

CSIJanner · 02/05/2013 21:29

Get DH to ring up the branch beforehand so that they can get the paperwork out of the files so he can see it and the signature on the bottom.

Snazzynewyear · 02/05/2013 21:30

I would get your DH to ring Santander in the meantime anyway and ask them to look into it as he is confused about how this has happened. That way they will investigate and it will not be down to you - or that's what you can tell PILs.

Bobyan · 02/05/2013 21:31

I would be very very careful about visiting the branch with them, if they later change their story they could implicate your DH.

Did your DH tell Santander that he didn't open the account?

If he hasn't and then waits and goes into the branch and it is his parents committing fraud and he doesn't declare it there and then, he could be seen to be covering for them.

BlueberryHill · 02/05/2013 21:33

Actually, your DH should go in himself tomorrow and ask them, he should take all his ID and compare them to those on file and as CSIJanner (very apt name in this case) says, the signature at the bottom will be decider.

Sorry that you are having to deal with this, very angry for you.

Bobyan · 02/05/2013 21:34

Also if Santander are at fault they are looking at a massive fine and you may well get compensation, which should be another reason to report it.