To think if you're behind a funeral you turn the music off in your car?

[freddiemisagreatshag]

On the way to work this morning. Behind a funeral. Loads of people walking behind a hearse.

The bucko in front of me had loud thumps music blaring.

AIBU to think he/she should have turned it off?

Well, I just asked DD who's 15 what she thought. And she said she would have stopped and bowed her head.

do however, think it is incredibly rude to plan a funeral during rush hour, I mean, the dead person is hardly going to mind if they have their funeral at 9am or 10:30am. ffs do you really think there is a choice? you take a slot when its available... there are lots of people being buried every day sooooo sorry its an inconvenience to you still living.

People are complete cocks sometimes. When my 1st Grandad dad someone cut up the hearse. When my uncle died a lot of people from the family left for the funeral from my Nans house. We asked the neighbours if they would mind moving their cars from the front of the house for an hour as a lot of the mouners were elderly. The son in his 20s moved his, but his Dad refused! It was my Nans son that died and you would think they would have more respect.

When my 2nd grandad died lots of people stopped and bowed their heads and took off their hats as we drive past.

Is it not possible for people to accept that we can have different views and experiences on this subject? Some people seem to think that if you don't agree with them you've clearly never suffered a loss and you're disrespectful for not doing what they think you should do.

I lost both my parents when I was a teenager and I certainly didn't see the funeral as a last journey with them or want to look at the coffin on the way to the funeral or notice what pedestrians and other drivers were doing around us and I wouldn't have suffered additional grief from a car trying to overtake. Obviously drivers and pedestrians ought to be considerate if they see a funeral cortege but please don't label all of us negatively just because we don't all have the same feelings.

I totally agree with you there Jan.
As I said, I've had two huge losses in the last 3 years, the last thing I cared about was random people outside the cortege. I wasn't even thinking about anything except my own grief.
I was the one, along with my sister, to do all the arrangements and I only wanted things to go right.
Which they did, and I was just grateful for that.
It was me and my family's loss, nobody elses.

I was raised to stop for the funeral cars, bow my head and make the sign of the cross.

My GFIL died last November, and I remember seeing lots of people doing the same as the funeral procession went past them.

Apologise if I have offended anyone

Unfortunately it appears I have an unpopular view on life and death. Perhaps if you knew what I have specified in my will as my funeral you will understand how detached my attitude is from yours. When I die I wish to be transported without ceremony to the crematorium for a direct cremation (No ceremony). Then my ashes are to be collected by my nearest and dearest at their convenience to be spread in the resting place of my DH, again at their convenience (Assuming he goes before me). If they want a personal gathering at the scattering event then that is their choice.

I don't understand the need to make such a show of it, and expect strangers to part-take in this show. It really is a very different view point.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Thu 02-May-13 11:28:10
"Held left collars"? Why?

^
...
Tradition

I always stop and bow my head. Although am glad I wasn't in town a few weeks back when there was a funeral for a young traveller man. the procession was over 400 cars long.

Yanbu it's pretty basic stuff really.

I always stop and bow my head.

My mum taught me this and I will teach my daughter the same.

So no OP YANBU.

Hold on, what are people counting as a funeral procession? To me it's the hearse and the couple of other cars provided by the undertakers for the family that follow - you can't expect people to know that uncle bob in his Saab and cousin betty' s corsa are part of some procession.

Catherine - your views are pretty irrelevant your nearest and dearest may be devasted by your death and the symbolic marking of your death may be helpful to them.

You don't need to join in the "show" but being respectful to the living who are suffering by not impinging in a way that jars these already shredded nerves seems basic human decency to me.

No-one was asking in you, a stranger\ to par-take in the "show" and lets be honest that wasn't what you were commenting on when you said "I do however, think it is incredibly rude to plan a funeral during rush hour". You were whining about the inconvenience to you not making a philosophical point about how so totally cool you are about death

Out of interest have you actually buried a child or a parent or a sibling?

Paradise, you can normally tell by the clothes the mourners are wearing, despite their cars. I would always wait for them.

Catherine is too despicable to comment on.

That's not a procession though that's just people in cars. Hearses are slow, it doesn't take long for traffic to build up behind them. That's fair enough, the hearse and family cars get space and respect but you can't expect other road users to know the intentions of every other car that just happens to be on the road behind the hearse and family cars. You can't blame someone for nipping out in front of a car 5 cars behind the hearse.

In fact I've never seen or heard of all the attendees tripping along behind the family cars. You just go to the ceremony.

You don't need to join in the "show" but being respectful to the living who are suffering by not impinging in a way that jars these already shredded nerves seems basic human decency to me.

this and I don't understand the detached thing either does catherine expect her family to suck it up and get on with it and dont organise the crematorium before 10 it is a really odd attitude to have, don't you worry your family will be upset at your death

n fact I've never seen or heard of all the attendees tripping along behind the family cars. You just go to the ceremony.

It is after the service people normally trip behind a prosession to go to a graveside or crematorium ,

Catherine isn't despicable, she has a different point of view. It seems people are all to quick to get outraged when someone they don't know takes a different view point.

What so when there's not even a hearse with a coffin up front?

Maybe it's cultural. Here everyone comes to the mass and then to the cemetery, so you can reasonably guess that the majority of cars following the hearse and family cars will be going.

It is despicable to call someone's funeral 'a show'. Have your own views on your own, fine.