My only child's auntie will not be attending his first birthday party.

[Lurksome]

May I have a small rant please?

The only relative on my husband's side of the family that COULD make my son's FIRST bday party is not coming. This is my husband's sister, and only sibling. She has just told me she has decided to go away with her husband in the UK for the long weekend instead. She sends her apologies about the party. They go away about six times a year; no children by choice. We asked them to be God parents when my son was born but nothing is official. Now I am reconsidering that proposition! Fuming mad I am!

I really wouldnt get upset over this.It's a kids party.I go to my grandchildrens, but they only know summat is different, they dont actually know whats going on.

Your DS is the centre of your world. That is totally normal. He is not the centre of his auntie's world.

Yes what angel said.

Sorry you're upset Lurk.

I didn't have a first or second birthday for DS1. I had a picnic with other friends with babies. DS had no clue about either occasion being "special" and I didn't expect family to turn up.

None of my child's aunties or uncles have ever attended a birthday. One of my DH's siblings doesn't live far away and hasn't seen DS1 for a year and a half. He hasn't met DS2 and hasn't arranged to. There is no bad blood there, he just isn't interested in kids.

Sorry you feel upset but I'm sure there will be other occasions where your child's auntie can be involved. It's not worth feeling so bad over this.

A lot of people don't even bother with first birthdays. Just Mum and Dad and other kids if any. No child is even going to remember its first birthday. YABU. But only a bit. Because it's obviously very important to you because you're the parents but most people won't see it as a priority.

ridiculous. As is holding a party for a one-year-old.

BTW attending a big gathering of small children usually leaves the childfree with a bad cold - parents are more exposed to childish bugs and so have more immunity.

your child is the one who throws the tantrums over nothing, not you.

'childfree by choice'

There's a big clue in there somewhere !!

• now give these same people a choice between being in a room with lots of screaming boisterous toddlers or a quiet weekend away, just the two of them

Well there you go !

I doubt she chose that weekend just to avoid the party. though I would do that for my dc's parties if I could get away with it

A 1yo party which she probably won't know anyone except you or a weekend away with her dh. Hmm. What would you choose?

OK OK OK!!! I take your points on board. Thank you to those who were gentle with me. It is my first baby. I can see I am overreacting :-(

You're being a dick. Not even your child will give a tiny shit that it's his birthday, frankly.

Mine is about to turn one as well and I'd far rather go away for the bank holiday weekend than throw a party for her (she won't remember it, I could stage some photos / photoshop a bit and just tell her she had an amazing harry Potter themed party for 60 babies, with an entertainer and humungous cake, she'll never know)

Actually, that's not a bad idea....

A child's first birthday really isn't a big deal. I probably would't let it change my long weekend plans. My own kids didn't have fancy first birthday parties... A few gifts and family were invited, but if they couldn't make it i wouldn't stress, or would just move the celebration to a date that they could do... Not like baby knows.

Oh Lurk gis a hug.

I'll come if there's wine and can leave my DC at home. I quite like a 1st birthday party because there aren't that many children there and all I have to do is hug a baby. Enjoy the quiet celebration you have years of hell to come.

Clearly your child will remember his aunt's absence from his first birthday and be horribly scarred for life.

Glad you see you're overreacting!

Although I don't blame her, tbh. I've been to two 1st birthday 'parties' for DNs and they were both bloody boring and I'd rather have been doing something else! Dreading that we'll have to go to the 3rd DN when it's their 1st birthday too (or we'll get sulks from SIL/BIL).

Don't worry Lurk. We all have our first-born child moments where we lose perspective because they are so important to us. Of course we want them to be just as important to everyone else.

I sometimes have them about DS2 as well, which is even worse as you would think I'd know better....

[Grin] at MrsDV

at MrsD.

Wise advice there OP

I meant

I have honestly never seen an adult - other than the parents of course - at a child's birthday party, unless they have been roped in to help or are dropping their own child off. Is this normal now?

I really wouldn't dwell on the fact that she would rather not come, just enjoy the party.

Glad to see you understand how unreasonable we all think you are OP. There's hpoe for you yet.

My ILs weren't interested in my PFB's first "party"-their only GC at the time & if husband & I hadn't had another-their only GC ever!!

Party (tea & cake)consisted of me, my parents & PFB!

Babies aren't that interesting tbh to people without

And a 1 year old won't even notice.

It also depends if you were planning a party party or just people over.

We have done adults over for afternoon tea and champagne for 1st birthdays. And 1 year old just happy to see people but has no idea about party etc, apart from a balloon