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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay £15 to go to a party?

118 replies

Clandy · 01/05/2013 11:26

Friend is having a christening for her little girl in August, on the invite she has asked for £15 ASAP per couple to pay for the food. She has also said no drinks are included so bring your own. Aibu to be annoyed at this? My thoughts are if its a BBQ and she can't afford food, why not ask people to bring a few things but £15 is a lot esp if there is no drinks and its at her house so she isn't paying out for an expensive venue. Also if you can't afford a big party... Don't have one. We couldn't afford to so we didn't have a christening party. I am cross and don't really want to go

OP posts:
Crinkle77 · 01/05/2013 15:38

Cheek of the woman. You don't invite people to a christening then ask them to pay for the food ast the party. You could just go to the christening itself at the church and not go to the do after. Don't understand why people feel the need to have these big do's for christenings anyway. What's wrong with a light buffet or bbq at home. Much cheaper

MansView · 01/05/2013 15:44

that's very cheeky - email her back and ask her for a copy of the menu up front....and copy all the other people in too

LeaveTheBarSteward · 01/05/2013 16:18

It's £15 per couple.

DeskPlanner · 01/05/2013 17:36

I really want to know if your going op ?

cleoowen · 01/05/2013 17:46

Would not go or would just take my own food. That is very rude. Why should you pay to attend something she is organising? Plus I agree that price is too much.

I understand people charge per head in a t was restaurant but not for a party for a family member at their own home.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2013 17:48

Decline. That is really cheeky. Asking people to bring a dish or their own meat for the grill is one thing, but charging admission is another. Bet you London to a brick she's not skint, though.

expatinscotland · 01/05/2013 17:54

And none of this 'So sorry' or lies about not being able to afford it.

WTAF?

Don't pay her a penny.

Just decline. I don't care to hang out with people who use others as financial vehicles for their own gain so I'd probably start drifting away from this person. Someone this grabby usually has form for it.

Patosshades · 01/05/2013 17:55

Awful grabby and rude. I bet the money is going towards the clothes and a fancy cake and you will all be served up frozen chips and sausages for your 15 quid Grin

Hopasholic · 01/05/2013 17:56

Blaady hell! Is she hiring Jamie Oliver to cook it?

I bet she does value sausages & horsemeat burgers Grin

Do you know anyone else who's invited? What's their take on it?

usualsuspect · 01/05/2013 17:57

I wouldn't mind taking my own booze or paying for it at a bar

But I wouldn't pay 15 quid for my food as well.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 01/05/2013 17:58

Dear god what is wrong with people!!

If you can't afford a big party then you can't afford it. Blimey.

ipswitch · 01/05/2013 18:01

Hope you are not going.
Crazy People out there...Beware and don't get sucked in.

TheCrackFox · 01/05/2013 18:15

I'd reply something like "sorry, really skint at the moment so I will pay you on the day". Then cancel at the last minute.

givemeaclue · 01/05/2013 18:20

I wouldn't go. Height of rudeness to ask for money

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/05/2013 19:23

I don't mind paying for drinks at a bar either, or taking some booze along.

Bearbehind · 01/05/2013 19:31

The same thing has happened to me, been invited to a party but asked to contribute. I thought I was the only one who thought it was the height of rudeness.

If you go out for a meal to a restaurant for a special occasion with a group of friends then fair enough, people expect to pay their way, but they generally get to choose their own meal.

I think it is really off to invite people to a private venue and ask others to pay.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 01/05/2013 19:36

Wow, that is seriously rude. I wouldn't be going and would be thinking less of them as friends after that invitation. If you can't afford a party, don't have one! Like you said, bringing a dish = fine, bringing a bottle = fine. But for goodness' sake, don't charge your guests and expect them to bring their own drinks. Loons.

Please come back and tell us how you respond OP Grin

expatinscotland · 01/05/2013 19:52

Is this a trend then? Seems to be more and more grabby pisstakers out there.

SauvignonBlanche · 01/05/2013 19:57

WTF? Shock
Are they joking?

thermalsinapril · 01/05/2013 20:00

YANBU. Parties are about providing hospitality to your guests. You provide for your guests when it's your party, and others provide for you when you attend theirs. You certainly don't go to other people's parties and consume the free food/drink and then expect them to pay to attend yours! Agree with Horrace that it might be best just to go to the service and then leave. If she doesn't have the funds for a party, why isn't she just doing tea and cake at the back of the church?

GreenEggsAndNichts · 01/05/2013 20:48

OP will end up paying and going. :) Especially if, as she says, the woman and her DD are good friends of hers.

But yes, it's very rude. I'm not above asking for people to bring a dish, but even then that's usual for a casual BBQ. Celebrating something like a christening would be an occasion to host the whole thing yourself, and just tell adults if they want real drink they'll need to bring it. etc.

Shenanagins · 01/05/2013 21:05

Better check there is no corkage charge as well!

AnnaRack · 01/05/2013 21:30

Bet they have a baby gift list too. Shocking

Original poster
Clandy · 01/05/2013 22:06

I might ask her in advance for a contribution towards my gift....

OP posts:
olivertheoctopus · 01/05/2013 22:15

Wow, that's rude. I'd be tempted to offer to take something tangible like a salad or a cake rather than cold hard cash.

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