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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay £15 to go to a party?

118 replies

Clandy · 01/05/2013 11:26

Friend is having a christening for her little girl in August, on the invite she has asked for £15 ASAP per couple to pay for the food. She has also said no drinks are included so bring your own. Aibu to be annoyed at this? My thoughts are if its a BBQ and she can't afford food, why not ask people to bring a few things but £15 is a lot esp if there is no drinks and its at her house so she isn't paying out for an expensive venue. Also if you can't afford a big party... Don't have one. We couldn't afford to so we didn't have a christening party. I am cross and don't really want to go

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 01/05/2013 12:58

I think if you really do love her DD a phone call is in order. I have suggested a script:

You: What in the name of buggery-fuck are you doing asking people to paypal you £15 to attend tinybaby's Christening? Have you gone quite, quite bonkers? If you can't afford to feed everyone ask them to bring some sausages you daftest of daft mares. Now go and pretend your computer was hacked by crafty hackers who are after all your friend and families £15.

samandi · 01/05/2013 13:05

Weird. YADNBU.

whois · 01/05/2013 13:05

Aw that's so tight!

Don't have a party I you can't afford one. There is nothing wrong with saying 'we'll be at pub x afterwards and would love to see you there'.

My parents went to a work colleagues party many years ago. Good job, enough cash. Arrived and it was a PAY BAR! Very embarrassing as people had taken bottles, as you do or a party, and vein relieved of them on the door and directed to the pay bar.

Rainbowdrop8 · 01/05/2013 13:06

Pay her the £15 but tell her you want your fillet steak medium rare and you find lobster hard to eat unless its washed down with champagne not cava.

valiumredhead · 01/05/2013 13:07

Where I come from if you made people pay for their own food at a party you would be talked about for eternity!!! Shock

DeskPlanner · 01/05/2013 13:30

Paypal details in the invite ?

Op please tell me your not going ?

valiumredhead · 01/05/2013 13:30

My other gripe is ds being invited to birthday parties but the parents have to pay!!

pigletmania · 01/05/2013 13:36

What wilsonfrickett has said. I would tell her

Fairydogmother · 01/05/2013 13:40

wow i'm amazed!

i'm just imagining asking people for say £50 a head when i get married next year - save me paying for food lol! we had an engagement party a few months ago and paid for all the food - wouldnt have entered my head to do anything differently. as there was a licensed bar people bought their own drinks and were happy enough.

if you cant afford a party dont have one. why couldnt she have had just a wee gathering of family and do a roast or a BBQ?!

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 01/05/2013 13:40

I would phone and tell her. They must be very Confused to think this is a normal thing to do. They could have asked for people to bring food if they had wanted.

WireCatWhore · 01/05/2013 13:41

Well. Now I really have heard it all.

Rowlers · 01/05/2013 13:44

Too rude for words to ask for money. Has she no pride?

Oldraver · 01/05/2013 13:46

Tell her you cant afford to contribut but you will go to the church ie the important bit

firesidechat · 01/05/2013 13:46

I like what Wilson said.

I've been to tons and tons of parties where I was asked to bring a bottle of something and a plate of food, and was more than happy to oblige. It made it feel more like a "family" event and personal somehow.

What your friend has done is beyond rude and I think she needs telling actually. If you don't, she will continue to live in her weird parallel universe where this is an ok thing to do. Is she charging family members too? Words fail me!

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/05/2013 13:49

Sheer brass NECK.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 01/05/2013 13:53

she wants it via paypal 3 months in advance....she obviously has a few bids going on ebay Wink

What a cheek, no way would I be going.

CloudsAndTrees · 01/05/2013 14:04

Wow. I can't believe how rude some people are!

I'd call her and laughingly ask her if she's joking, because she can't possibly be serious.

Shame her into realising how rude and grabby she is being.

WilsonFrickett · 01/05/2013 14:29

I'm still Shock at this. £15 per head! And no booze! I could get a michelin starred lunch for me and DP for £30!!

StealthOfficialCrispTester · 01/05/2013 14:37

While this is rude and grabby, I recently went ti a colleagues birthday party that was a pay bar and didn't find that rude, in fact it's what I was expecting.

firawla · 01/05/2013 14:42

its in her house and no drinks provided?? she is going to be making a profit from it - how weird

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 01/05/2013 14:42

Stealth, having a pay bar is nothing like charging people to eat food in your home!

StealthOfficialCrispTester · 01/05/2013 14:45

Chocs no sorry thT was to whois

StealthOfficialCrispTester · 01/05/2013 14:45

Ah unless that was in someone's home in which case, yes, weird. The party I went to was in a working men's club

HorryIsUpduffed · 01/05/2013 14:48

£15 per head, not per family? And BYOB? Crikey.

Would it be passive aggressive to say "Oh shall I bring my famous walnut coleslaw / garlic flatbread / banana cake instead? To save you from a bit of shopping?"

miffybun73 · 01/05/2013 14:51

YANBU, so ridiculous I'd assume she must be joking.