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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay £15 to go to a party?

118 replies

Clandy · 01/05/2013 11:26

Friend is having a christening for her little girl in August, on the invite she has asked for £15 ASAP per couple to pay for the food. She has also said no drinks are included so bring your own. Aibu to be annoyed at this? My thoughts are if its a BBQ and she can't afford food, why not ask people to bring a few things but £15 is a lot esp if there is no drinks and its at her house so she isn't paying out for an expensive venue. Also if you can't afford a big party... Don't have one. We couldn't afford to so we didn't have a christening party. I am cross and don't really want to go

OP posts:
SanitaryOwl · 01/05/2013 12:08

Normally hate the "rude" inviations threads on here, but this one really is taking the piss!

GiveMumABreak · 01/05/2013 12:08

YANBU! I am completely gobsmacked Shock it will not cost them £15 per head to feed everyone anyway......I am just so shocked that people have the cheek.....

bigbuttons · 01/05/2013 12:08

OMG, I love to know what she would do if you turned up without paying first. Would she stand at the door, list in hand only admitting those on the 'paid' list.
"sorry, I can't let you in because you have not paid, oh alright then come in but you are not allowed near the buffet"

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/05/2013 12:09

Why on EARTH does she want the money 3 months in advance?

You are not going to pay are you? I would ask her what the hell she is thinking. I certainly wouldn't go either.

Freddie that sounds awful - did you get a breakdown of what was spent? Cheeky sod. Thieving from your friends is bloody low.

helenthemadex · 01/05/2013 12:11

reply saying its ok you will bring a picnic or pack lunch

I cant believe the cheek of some people, if you cant afford it dont do it

bigbuttons · 01/05/2013 12:11

or...... perhaps she could let everyone in but only stamp the hands of those who have paid, or give them a badge or something, so that anyone attempting to steal from the buffet would immediately be spotted and driven out by other resentful out of pocket party-goersWink

Purple2012 · 01/05/2013 12:12

I know someone who invited her in laws for Christmas dinner then did a list of what everything cost and split it between them and charged them for their Christmas dinner!!! The in laws stuffed their faces just to get their moneys worth!!!

Sausagedog27 · 01/05/2013 12:13

If you really want to go, I'd send an email thanking her for the invite, rather than paying, you will bring a dish of some sort, and copy other people in that you know!

This is just rudeness!

NatashaBee · 01/05/2013 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Startail · 01/05/2013 12:16

without booze that would pay for steak for all.

We are hosting a club BBQ in the summer and Im trying to work out whether to charge or get them bring stuff. It's much easier not doing bring your own meat.

Sadly I really can't afford to feed them all plus their families.

Emsmaman · 01/05/2013 12:19

reminds me of a friend who "hosted" a NYE party but then asked us for £50 each for food and booze. They were still eating that food a week later and the booze lasted them months. More fool us but they were very good friends and the demand for money came too close to NY for us to find something else to do.

SilkandSteel · 01/05/2013 12:21

No I wouldn't go either, hope everyone makes a stand and I agree she will be profiting from that if no drink is being provided. Oh an Clandy, if you want some cheeky people stories check out the recent one that is now in classics - it is a corker but be prepared to lose the rest of your day Wink

freddiefrog · 01/05/2013 12:22

I've just notices I lost half my post

The missing part at the beginning should have said...

Years ago, before kids a group of us wanted to organise a new years eve party, we'd looked around at local events and most places wanted to £20/£25 a head, plus taxis, drinks, etc, so we decided to hire the village hall and do our own

We'd talked about getting the local fish and chip shop to deliver and there was a bloke in the village who ran a mobile bar.

Yes, we did ask for a breakdown of costs, we had a fun night but it all ended very badly

ENormaSnob · 01/05/2013 12:24

Fuckin hell fire that's is seriously cheeky Shock

No problems with bring a dish/bottle but cash is taking the piss.

I wouldn't go.

pickledginger · 01/05/2013 12:26

I've never heard of anyone doing this before! Asking people to bring some food is one thing. Asking for cash for the food is plain rude.

pickledginger · 01/05/2013 12:28

I assume she must be using caterers and so needs the money up front. I thought you only used caterers if you could actually pay for them.

Original poster
Clandy · 01/05/2013 12:29

thanks for ignoring my terrible maths, no idea how I worked that one out!!

Can't believe others have experienced this cheekiness too. She is a really good friend so it's hard to say no as I love her dd.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 01/05/2013 12:30

How ridiculous and tacky. If you cannot afford to host a party, you don't have a party, it's as simple as that.

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/05/2013 12:31

You are going to paypal that money over aren't you, and say nothing?

StanleyLambchop · 01/05/2013 12:39

Not going and making a stand against her cheekiness does not mean that you don't love her DD, just make an excuse or do as others suggest and say you will bring a dish instead. Otherwise you will get constant invites with cash demands attached- her 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc birthday party, school leaving party, engagement party, wedding. She will think it is ok to do this and will carry on hosting events and passing on the costs to her guests. Just say No!

ToomuchIsBackOnBootcamp · 01/05/2013 12:40

Don't you bloody dare pay the rude, grabby, entitled, rude, rude madam a single fucking penny!!

I like the idea of an email cc-ing everyone you know with the suggestion of bringing a dish "as she obv can't afford a party to be asking everyone to pay"

DontmindifIdo · 01/05/2013 12:40

OP - send this message to cheeky friend "Hi [cheeky friend] - thank you so much for inviting me to [DD] baptism. Unfortunately I have a clash that day, I can come to just the church, but will have to leave before the party. Really looking forward to seeing [dd] being baptised!!! Clandy"

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/05/2013 12:48

Or email her and say 'THIS IS NOT NORMAL, YOU GRASPING BUGGER'

Where is expatinscotland? She will know what to say.

NinaHeart · 01/05/2013 12:52

Amazed.
Hugely un-Christian thing to be doing. (The money for the buffet, not the Christening)

pigletmania · 01/05/2013 12:56

I would just tell her straight, if she is a good friend

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