Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be fed up with the notion 'one of each' kids is always the preference?

110 replies

Bellini12 · 01/05/2013 10:41

A good friend of mine is pregnant & has just announced (in true FB fashion with photos and guessing games) that her 2nd baby will be a boy (she currently has a DD). I'm so happy that they are going to be parents again. I'm just stunned at the number of comments that followed... 'one of each, how perfect!' 'a blue and pink, it doesnt get better than that' and all the parents with a DD & a DS sound so very smug!

I myself have 2 DD's. I don't believe I would have felt any different if I'd had a boy. DH is incredibly sporty etc but has never felt like he is missing out not having the little boy to take to the football or whatever. It's just the way it is!

I loved growing up with brothers (the lack of male influence is my only concern with my girls growing up but they are close to their male cousins) but I also love having sisters (who I am closer to).

Everyone has their opinions and some siblings are closer to each other regardless of sex, so why do people feel the need to go on about 'the perfect scenario'?

OP posts:

KirjavaTheCat · 01/05/2013 20:56

I have this to look forward to when we find out the gender of our baby. My mother has already made it clear that she'll be disappointed if we have another boy

I love all four of my brothers dearly. Can't quite guess what was going through my mothers mind, trying again and again until she got me. We don't even get on!!!

sheeplikessleep · 01/05/2013 21:00

I'm expecting DS3.
In the last couple of weeks, I've had "are you disappointed?" (err, no), "are you upset" (err, no) and sad faces back by text. It does my head in. I get it's a conversation maker, but to actually ask am I upset, when I can feel my little man wriggling around in me and I am so excited about meeting him just pisses on my parade basically. My (probably over hormonal!) reaction amuses me, as I feel so defensive and angry on his behalf, must be my lioness instinct already kicking in!

I haven't had any 'are you having any more?' questions, but then I'm very vocal we are stopping at 3 and very pleased to have 3 the same gender.

5madthings · 01/05/2013 21:02

I think people are just trying to make conversation bug its rude.

I have four boys and then a bonus baby dd. The amount of comments like 'oh you finally got a girl' and the assumption that we kept going to get a girl...ermm we did no such thing and if we could afford to I would have another. Never cared about the gender!

dizzy77 · 01/05/2013 21:05

YANBU. I'm pg with DC2 and lying that we don't know the sex because I don't want to engage in this conversation. I really don't mind which sex comes out, it happens it's a second boy (we've had a lot if scans so I'm pretty confident). I wasn't bothered before I knew and I'm not bothered now: my children are more than what is between their legs.

Original poster

Bellini12 · 01/05/2013 21:08

The more I read these posts, the more I'm angry that so many of us have been on the end of these ridiculous, presumptuous and insensitive comments!

OP posts:

dubstarr73 · 01/05/2013 21:12

I have 5 boys imagine what its like for me haha.Just let it go over your head.I even had the sonographer feel sorry for me cause its another boy.Sap.I love all my boys.I laugh and say blame their Daddy its all his doing

Exhaustipated · 01/05/2013 21:21

TBH I think it's mostly just saying something nice/making conversation. If someone has one of each, I would probably say 'how lovely, one of each'. If they had two of the same gender, I would say 'how lovely, two boys/girls.' Neither statement implies that either combination is superior.

I have one of each, and people often say, 'how lovely, one of each', and I say 'yes, it is lovely'. If I had two boys or girls, that would be lovely too!

sunlightonthegrass · 01/05/2013 21:24

I am waiting for IVF, I'm also really, desperately hoping I have a girl There, I said it.

If the choice is no child vs only sons, obviously I'd go for sons. But if I could choose I would have at least one daughter. I hope and pray I won't secretly feel disappointed if I do have a boy.

dubstarr73 · 01/05/2013 21:26

I dont mind the messing but its people who put their disappointment on to you thats what gets me.
I know they say it to break the ice.I have 3 boys close in age and people always comment on it.So to watch their head explode i say ive another 2 boys at home.

Then you get the side of the head and look at you pittying.Thats what i cant stand.They dont know your history,how hard it could have been to have them babies.Thats what gets me.

PortHills · 01/05/2013 22:22

I am one of 2 DDs, and I know my father would have liked to have also had a DS. But when I was pregnant with my No. 2, I really wanted to have another boy, as I loved the idea of two little boys running around together. Luckily, literally in the last stage of labour I realised I was having another baby who might be nothing like DS, and who might not even get on with DS like I get on with my sister. At which point I suddenly realised I might like a girl, and so I would have been delighted with either. As it turned out, baby was a DD.

Sometimes I think it's nice for parents to experience having one of each, but maybe nicer for children to have a sibling the same gender. But that's based on my experience of being very close with my sister.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5