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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - No sweets or squash

443 replies

mamab30 · 29/04/2013 13:16

AIBU to not serve squash or give out sweets at a children's party?

Just wondering what parents would think of going to a children's party where there was only water to drink and just birthday cake to take home. For us that would be normal and I wouldn't think anything of it but just wondering if parents would be surprised at not seeing squash or sweets?

OP posts:
Jewcy · 30/04/2013 23:14
Jewcy · 30/04/2013 23:15

Seriously, Jan, go and get some squash and have a lie down.

Jan49 · 30/04/2013 23:21

But it tastes really horrible!!!If I was at a party with only squash to drink I'd need a huge slice of chocolate cake to take away the taste.Grin

Rockinhippy · 30/04/2013 23:22

I wouldn't have a problem with no sweets or squash at all, I'd probably be more than happy with it & have done similar myself when DD was younger, though I think she would be very disappointed at the age she is now, she ha come to see parties as an opportunity to let her hair down & eat as as she likes, especially sweets etc but when she was younger, she wouldn't have known the difference, so would have been more than happy with it

I would find offering water only a bit mean though - not all DCs like water - mine doesn't & we are very much into healthy eating - I have offered jugs of 30/70 diluted juice in the past though - none of the DCs noticed it wasn't actually squash

Rockinhippy · 30/04/2013 23:25

Jan is right, squash is a real problem for some DCs - my DD is intolerant to the sweeteners, preservatives & other additives you find in a lot of it / it would make her very ill - I personally would never offer squash either

thepig · 01/05/2013 00:16

Oh dear...I do feel sorry for today's children...and I'm only 30.

Shock At the person who declines party invitations for their child because of sugar etc. Unbelievable.

But what really gets my goat is the new generation of parents who have a worrying lack of understanding when it comes to food and science and sugar and everything else. (clue you won't get any answers in your local high street quack health food chain).

Turns out every bloody modern day child has some allergy or other. Of course actually on the whole they don't. Just overbearing deeply misguided parents.

It's a bloody party ffs let them do what the hell they want it's called being a kid.

sleepywombat · 01/05/2013 06:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 01/05/2013 06:53

It's not that they can't enjoy themselves without those things more that most parents appreciate that a balanced diet is about not banning foods (unless their is allergy or things) and letting children learn about eating things in moderation.

exoticfruits · 01/05/2013 07:26

What a sensible post Sirzy.
I'm sure that many over controlling parents are setting themselves up for future problems.
Mine are grown up and my system worked for all three. It was to have a balanced diet at home, most of the time, and then you can relax about parties, sweets given out on birthdays and the 'wrong sort' of chocolate in Easter eggs and the occasional visit to McDonalds.
They cook for themselves and eat healthily, they are all slim, go running and have no fillings. (Ds1 had one filling in a baby tooth that has now gone)
They have to learn to self moderate. They should be able to look back on parties with pleasure. They should be able to reminisce about the sweets of childhood.I used to love sherbet fountains and gobstoppers - there is no way that I would eat them now- you grow out of it.
I know so many children whose diets are rigidly controlled by parents and they are dreadful out of sight of the parent. The stricter the parent the more secretive the child - they make absolutely sure the parent doesn't know. Parties are one time to let go and not worry- as long as they don't have allergies.

Punkatheart · 01/05/2013 07:40

Blimey, is Squashgate still rumbling on? It's enough to drive a person to drink.

But very good points exotic...yes I was that controlling parent and yes, my daughter became obsessed with 'naughty' foods.

What did I save her from? Lemon Barley Anonymous. ;)

exoticfruits · 01/05/2013 07:50

And when you get to teenage parties you would love them to drink squash!!

thepig · 01/05/2013 08:38

Exotic...exactly.

In the 80s and 90s when I was a kid virtually everyone I knew was brought up like that.

Amazing isn't it that pretty much my whole peer group has remained unscathed...healthy, not overweight, no allergies etc.

As usual everything in moderation is about the best advice there is Smile

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 01/05/2013 09:11

thepig. You are wrong about people raised in the 80's and 90's not being overweight. Very wrong.

My Mum fed us healthy meals but let us have loads of sweets. Wieght wise I am OK but my teeth have required a lot of work Confused because of it.

seriouscakeeater · 01/05/2013 09:20

Maybe that's due to the loads of sweets you were given. I'm an 80s child and I'm fine! All my own teeth and healthy weight!

thepig · 01/05/2013 09:37

iiiiiiiiiiiiii

I didn't say people raised in the 80s and 90s weren't overweight. I said something very different...

Bunbaker · 01/05/2013 09:37

When DD was younger I never offered sweets at parties or put them in party bags. The food used to be mainly savoury, but I always had Party Rings, which in spite of looking evil, don't have any artificial crap in them, and then the birthday cake. I offered dilute good quality squash or water.

Offering just water is a bit worthy and "knit your own lentils". Also, some children would rather go thirsty than drink water. Why not give them real fruit juice or buy some organic orange squash.

Dollylucy · 01/05/2013 09:37

OP- do you drink just water on your birthday?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/05/2013 09:39

IT REALLY ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT.

notso · 01/05/2013 10:08

Can't believe Jewcy this is still droning on.
Children's parties are 99% party and 1% food, it's usually crushed into the carpet eaten in about 30 seconds because they all want to play.
It's the adults who are bothered about the food either sneering at crudites or getting snobby about Haribo.

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii · 01/05/2013 10:25

thepig

Oh Blush. I see what you mean now. That makes a lot more sense. Sorry.

(Although obesity rates are still high in that age range)

Jins · 01/05/2013 10:27

I forgot the drinks for one party we did. Sent DH off to get them and handed out water to the thirsty ones until he got back.

One little girl asked me very kindly if we couldn't afford fruit shoots? Grin

Added them to DHs list as well. Every flavour he could find

Jewcy · 01/05/2013 12:03

Teeth are highly overrated just like notso

MERLYPUSS · 01/05/2013 12:24

I didn't do sweets either. But I had a choice of drinks for the kids. Just like I had tea OR coffee for the adults that stayed. I think you are right to go with what you want (or your child) but I would offer an alternative for the non-water drinkers.

Maybe redbull Grin

exoticfruits · 01/05/2013 12:36

If you are bothered about teeth then juice, organic or otherwise, is the worst thing for them!

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