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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - No sweets or squash

443 replies

mamab30 · 29/04/2013 13:16

AIBU to not serve squash or give out sweets at a children's party?

Just wondering what parents would think of going to a children's party where there was only water to drink and just birthday cake to take home. For us that would be normal and I wouldn't think anything of it but just wondering if parents would be surprised at not seeing squash or sweets?

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 30/04/2013 11:39

Squash is soft drink in the UK, right? Fizzy drinks?

I wouldn't blink if there were none at a party, but if there was only water, then I would think the parents were cheap, rather than trying to be healthy. Water with fruit in it, some fruit juice, even a good old punch (minus the alcohol) would all be fine. There just should be more than water.

And you can have sweet and tasty without it being packets of mixed lollies. For DS's christening, I made a trifle (even made the sponge and custard myself) without alcohol in it, and loaded it up with fruit. There were heaps of kids at the party and they actually went nuts for the trifle rather than the sweets and chocolates I had supplied, it was quite interesting to watch. I do know that there has been a bit of a swing towards more healthy eating, even among children. When we're on school camps and put down trays of carrot sticks, celery sticks, raw brocolli, etc with some hommus or other dips, the kids go

One of the mothers at my school does party bags which include things like cheap matchbox cars, bubble blowers, stickers, little colouring books, mini puzzles, little magical tricks, that sort of thing, depending on the ages. She said that she shops online and at the cheapo shops to buy it all, and it costs her less than a bag of sweets does. She's not against sweets, just thinks it is a waste of money, so would rather give something the kids can at least play with for a while. They are well received, and I doubt anyone complains about the lack of sweets.

You can provide (reasonably) healthy party fare and party bags without appearing cheap and uptight. It just takes a bit of imagination.

BaronessBomburst · 30/04/2013 11:46

Not sure why the OP is getting so many nasty comments! I didn't serve squash or sweets at DS party (he turned 3) and I don't think anyone even noticed. I had water, or cartons of fruit juice or milkshake for the children to help themselves to, and biscuits and fruit for afters, along with the cake. I also had crisps. There was not a stick of tofu in sight. :)

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 30/04/2013 11:50

Oh they notices Baroness....

BaronessBomburst · 30/04/2013 11:56

Do they? Oh well....... Grin

Sirzy · 30/04/2013 12:02

Serving just one option of drink whatever that one option is is a bad idea in my opinion as some children will inevitably not like that option. I would be pissed off if only water was available as DS would get dehydrated rather than touch water (much to my annoyance)

Jewcy · 30/04/2013 12:21

Why are you saying we are being 'nasty'? Do grow up. We're having a laugh at the op's expense

Bananasinfadedpjs · 30/04/2013 12:52

I think people are commenting because the idea serving just water just seems somehow out of keeping with the spirit of generosity and fun that makes a good party host.

Jewcy · 30/04/2013 12:53

It just smacks of middle-class one-upmanship to me: bottled water; crudites; houmous; mini-pittas; Lindor. You come across as terrified, Boden-esque yummy mummies jostling to be the worthiest at the school gates. I dread to think how you would react if you took darling Crispin along to one of his working-class pals' (as if!) parties. You know, sausage rolls, a jug of fizzy Vimto, lollipops, pizza...oh, and lots and lots of uproarious fun.

Punkatheart · 30/04/2013 13:07

This is silly now. Food has become a political issue. Serving sticks of carrot is fine. Serving Vimto is fine. But the idea that people should judge you for your choices is absurd.

But worse - the idea of giving in to children all the time, always catering for their every whim instead of teaching them to compromise and not be so fussy, is worrying. That's why we have so much food waste in the world.

Just serve the food you like, feel comfortable with serving. I was a fairly strict mum to my little girl - I was worried about her teeth and also how she behaved when full of smarties and squash. So I gave her party friends cartons of juice. So what? Does that make me a smug mum? Blimey - there is so much going on in the world - people are starving out there, wars are happening, people are exploited - including children.

If a child does not have squash, the world will still turn and hopefully, people have better things to talk about.....

Jewcy · 30/04/2013 13:24

...and if a child does have squash? And we're not talking about 'giving in to a child all the time', we're talking about parties, you know..those fun breaks from the norm?

likeitorlumpit · 30/04/2013 15:51

i was actually having a laugh on here but i can see there are some serious issues to address here .. ....such as

  1. i am a [recovering] sugar addict & blame lots of their intolerances on the rubbish I've eaten/been exposed to in my life .... wtaf ? i can only pray this is an actual joke.
2 sugar free cake ??? what is the point ....in life. 3 one chocolate lindor in a party bag i would be horrified.we all know ferrero rocher are far more superior.fucking cheapskates. 4 im sure there is more but i need a lie down after reading about mumabubba123 parties .. kill me now.
Floggingmolly · 30/04/2013 15:59

It may be normal for your child; but that doesn't mean his friends won't find it unusual and bizarre, frankly. Why have a children's party and refuse to serve any goodies?
You don't have to cover all the food groups at a kid's party, you know; live a little!

His friends will never forget the party with no sweets. Sad
He'll be the talk of the playground.

VikingVagine · 30/04/2013 16:14

DS is 10 and I've never served sweets, squash or fizzy drinks at any of his birthdays. He's got loads of friends and has never been teased for it.

VikingVagine · 30/04/2013 16:16

Oh and I've never given out party bags either.

bigkidsdidit · 30/04/2013 16:34

I will never understand the mumsnet idea that endless fruit juice = good, occasional squash = 'vile'

I like squash.

I think a party without any other drinks would be a bit mean and would certainly be laughed about later. And I used to live in Nappy Valley; even there it would be odd.

TattyDevine · 30/04/2013 16:42

I don't give a tuppeny fuck whether you serve squash or sweets, but it aint a children's party without a polystyrene cup of lukewarm Chardonnay Grin

Jewcy · 30/04/2013 17:08

viking, go on...we're just dying to know what you did serve at your kid's parties, dahling

exoticfruits · 30/04/2013 17:46

When mine were small I always thought that fruit juice couldn't be good for them-now I am proved right. Squash is mainly water-I used to get good quality and just colour the water-much better than juice IMO.
Last week there was a thread about fizzy drinks and someone saying 'why not have ribena?' Ribena was in the paper at the weekend and far worse than some fizzy drinks.

SuiGeneris · 30/04/2013 21:44

Ah, Jewry: that's where we disagree. I can assure you there is no pride involved in the Lindor (never imagined a chocolate could generate such debate- clearly 15 years of living in Britain are not enough to pick up these details). I gave the name just to explain it was a small chocolate of the sort that I am prepared to eat, as opposed to the palm-oil stuff.

Only in the UK would a discussion about children's parties turn into a class debate...Shock

sweetestcup · 30/04/2013 22:07

Ducks Sweetestcup- I understand people don't like it, but I can't understand people not drinking it. Your body needs water more than food

Yes but what do you think I use to dilute the diluting juice that my boys drink?

SuiGeneris · 30/04/2013 22:09

Sorry, was JewCY but my phone autocorrected...

BlackholesAndRevelations · 30/04/2013 22:17

SuiGeneris- only on mumsnet, you mean!

I still don't understand (and have asked on here but got no response) what is actually wrong with a tiny splash of sugar free squash for kids? Really? What is it?

SuiGeneris · 30/04/2013 22:29

Blackhole: quite!

As for squash: I cannot stand it, so would not serve it. I only serve at parties stuff we enjoy, so for birthdays we tend to have a few cakes, some fruit, some sandwiches and nibbles for the adults. Water, juice, smoothies,plus wine/beer/tea/coffee for the adults.

Xmasbaby11 · 30/04/2013 22:45

Juice / milk = fine. Just water ... um, as an adult, I would be underwhelmed by that. It's normal to offer a choice. It's called being a good host. And a party is a time for treats (kids or adults).

Jan49 · 30/04/2013 23:09

It wouldn't occur to me to offer squash at a children's party as it's not something we ever buy. Surely when your kids go to a party you just expect there to be food and drink, not specific items. I would offer various fruit juices and it never seemed to be a problem. A child is not going to dehydrate in the 2 hours of a party if they choose to drink nothing!

As for what squash contains, well I've just looked at the ingredients list for Orange Squash on Robinson's website. In addition to water and orange fruit from concentrate, it contains 10 ingredients including sugar, aspartame and saccharin. I think there might be some orange drinks which are just water plus a little orange juice available, but I don't think those are called squash. I'd be concerned about a child's teeth if they just drank squash or juice all the time even watered down, because they are constantly bathing their teeth in sugar and there seem to be major health issues with aspartame.

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