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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Probably. ILs are being a massive PITA about car they're giving us.

124 replies

AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:01

I KNOW I'm being a brat. I love my ILs but they FUSS and faff about things.

FIL has decided not to renew his driving licence so they have very generously given us their car as a second runaround, the car is worth about £300 and they wou;dn't take any money for it, we are very grateful.

But we haven't had a chance to go and pick it up yet and it's now been on their drive for a week. FIL is going out daily and driving it up and down the drive to keep it ticking over Confused.

MIL has been on the phone every night this week asking us when we can come and get it. We both work full time, and every evening this week has been busy (cubs, gymnastics, riding, music lessons, we have three DC). We have been out all weekend as it was DD's birthday.

They wanted us to go round to sign the logbook because they thought (and took a lot of convincing otherwise) that they needed to send that off and we needed to wait for it to come back before we drove away.

They are now panicking that we need to come and get it because they aren't insured on it anymore so they are on about SORNing it. They will not listen to me telling them that I can phone first thing and insure it and that it doesn't need SORNing as it still has tax and has been off the road for less than two weeks.

FIL keeps telling DH that he must make sure to run it every day otherwise the brakes will seize up. TBH he will probably only drive it twice a month, we've managed this long with one car.

They also keep saying that DH can drive to work so SIL can have her car during the day. BIL picks DH up as he passes (they work together), if DH picked BIL up he'd have to leave the house at 7am and go in the wrong direction. They offered SIL the car but she said she coudlnt' afford to run/insure it so declined.

I am really starting to wish we;d said thanks but no thanks.

DH has just gone over there to sign the logbook, it's the end of a very long weekend and I was looking forward to snuggling down and watching a film. they wanted us both to go over to theirs and get the car now but DS2 is in bed.

This is going to be a nightmare, isn't it? FIL has treasured that car for the last 18 years, they are going to be on our case about it forever.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Nehru · 28/04/2013 19:20

Just lie and say you use it more fgs

Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:22

YES to palming off their offcasts, they do that a lot with random stuff from their loft etc, but it's because they hate waste.

And DH has hoarding tendencies so you can imagine how well that goes.

OP posts:
Fairylea · 28/04/2013 19:23

I'm shocked he thinks he needs to drive it everyday to stop it dying! Must be a heap of crap.... my little 12 year old fiat seicento sat unused in my driveway for 8 weeks after my c section and started first time I fired it up afterwards! Yes I appreciate I may be lucky but still.... everyday?!

I'd get it, keep it a few weeks, sell it, say it broke down beyond repair!

Pixel · 28/04/2013 19:25

Perhaps I'm just a bit Envy because if someone gave me a £300 car it would probably be better than the one I've got now Grin.

TweedWasSoLastYear · 28/04/2013 19:26

Ask FIL to drop it round one afternoon . Dress it up abit with some crock about 'needing a handover ' or 'You can explain in manspeak what all the switches do.
Then run him home in your car . Might be an hour , but its done then so no more fretting.

Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:27

As to the tax, it's taxed for another ten months and insurance is £200, we decided that was worth it, if we don't use it at all we'll scrap it, with PIL's blessing, rather than re-tax it.

I promise I am not being a bitch or ungrateful about this, it's just we really could have done without DH going out tonight to sign the logbook (that DOESN'T need signing yet), I've now got do all all the bedtimes and get ready for school tomorrow because he won't be back until late and I'm tired and ratty.

OP posts:
Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:27

FIL can't drop it round, he doens't have a licence or insurance as of last weekend.

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 28/04/2013 19:27

I think you need to make some time to go and get it. Why do you both need to go - can't you or your Dh go over on the bus or get a taxi?

Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:30

Well yes, he could. But a tax would cost £££ and it would be three different buses. Um, he could walk round, I suppose, it woudl only take an hour.

We are going to go and get it on BH monday though.

OP posts:
MissSG · 28/04/2013 19:30

'I was looking forward to snuggling down and watching a film'

Sorry but YABVU.

They have you a car after having to give up their licence and you didn't have a spare 5 minutes out of your schedule just to pick it up for them? Words fail me.

gallifrey · 28/04/2013 19:31

My dear FIL went out and started his car up every day when they were here for a week over christmas, we did laugh because it's only a year old so hardly an old banger!

phantomnamechanger · 28/04/2013 19:32

AP - my PILs used to hoard stuff that might come in useful one day, when he became ill FIL fretted terribly about MIL having tonnes of stuff to sort through when he died and started palming off even more onto us. Very little was of any use at all, but it was easier for DH to take it, keep it in our garage for a while then quietly get rid.

When is the next MOT or service due - on cars that are old and not worth a lot this can be expensive even if they have previously been well cared for

Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:33

It's not five minutes.

It's a half an hour ish round trip, and we would obviously want to stay and chat rather than turn up, grab the keys and fuck off. So it's a whole evening's job. And we just haven;t had a whoel evening.

And, going over tonight to sign the logbook is unecessary, but they wouldn't listen and were getting stressed so DH has gone, which is fine, but I;m crabby at being left to do all the shit jobs for tomorrow now.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 28/04/2013 19:39

Yabvu.

And incredibly unkind. Nobody's life is really that busy that they cannot manage a couple of hours to reassure and remove stress from someone they care about.

scarlettsmummy2 · 28/04/2013 19:39

You have been on mumsnet for the last half hour- the same amount of time it would have taken to drive there and back. It's much less rude to go over and say you are sorry you can't stay, than to not go at all.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/04/2013 19:42

I think the op said she couldn't go bow as the ds is in bed.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/04/2013 19:43

Now not bow!

Xmasbaby11 · 28/04/2013 19:43

YABU. I do see your point, but I think you should have just cancelled an evening's activities to fetch the car, and made a bit of an event for your IL. It is obviously a big deal for them and it's a bit galling for them that you can't find time to pick it up. It's a good lesson for your DC about being grateful and respecting their grandparents.

Original poster
AudreyParker · 28/04/2013 19:46

How the fuck am I being unkind?

I really resent that, actually.

If I could have worked it into this week I would have done. I work from 7am until 6pm every day, the DC have fucking activities almost every nights. DH teaches music the other nights. This entire weekend has been taken up with DD's jeffing birthday extravaganza (not all booked by me), we've been out of the house from 9-6 both days. I'm exhausted.

I really could have done without MIL getting agitated with DH about going over to sign the logbook. I really could do without the car, tbh, we're only having it because they didnt' want to scrap it.

I am on MN in between making sandwiches and checking on bathtimes. I jsut wanted a bit of a whinge, not a character assassination. I swear to god some of you just hang around AIBU to be nasty. It's not necessary.

OP posts:
Nehru · 28/04/2013 19:53

They're being wankers. Ignore op.

No one can ever be less than delighted with anyone on here without being (gasp) unkind

Lolapink · 28/04/2013 19:53

Can you not go get the car, while the kids are at there activities.

lagoonhaze · 28/04/2013 19:53

sooner you get it sooner they will stop fretting and calling you

HumphreyCobbler · 28/04/2013 19:54

Lots of people DO hang around AIBU just to be nasty. It makes me resolve never to start a thread here (sorry, not much help now).

You are not being unkind, your DH has gone round even though it is unnecessary just to placate your ILs. It sounds like you are very busy and could have done without it. This seems an entirely reasonable point of view to me.

clam · 28/04/2013 19:56

You're right Audrey. Back off, people.

(MN at its nest-of-vipers worst.

phantomnamechanger · 28/04/2013 19:56

Ignore the daft few, AP, some people like stirring it on here, it's their hobby.

I totally get why, though it's a priority for them, it's not been feasible to fit it into your busy family life.