To be a size 22 and happy with my body

[Lucyellensmum95]

I am a size 22 up top - blessed in the nork department and a size 18 on the bottom.

Sometimes i get irritated because i can't find clothes in my size that i like but when i look at my body in the mirror - i like it.

As i say, my top heaviness is due to an ample bosum, which is, for my age pretty firm still.

I have been slimmer, in fact i was a size 10 when i met DP - but that was 20 years ago. Then after i had DD 7 years ago, due to illness i was a size 12 again - miserable, i hated it, my breasts shrunk and i didn't feel like me.

I do have self esteem issues but not surrounding my body.

When i tell people i am happy being the size i am they make faces at me - i find this insulting.

I am pretty fit, i walk for miles and cycle distances that make the face pullers making faces and declaring that they can't do that. I am extremely flexible and can touch the floor next to my toes wth the flats of my hands without bending my knees

I would be happy to be a size 18 on top and a size 16/14 down below but no slimmer, thanks. I would probably prefer that size but for no reasons other than health reasons - i eat a healthy diet but probably drink a little too much I also have flabby thighs which need sorting out, but othe than that, when i look in the mirror, i like what i see.

I'm 5'2"

I am a very sexual person and i FEEL sexy and my DP certainly thinks i'm sexy.

As i say, i have self esteem issues but they are no way associated with my body imagine. I don't like my face so much.

AIBU to be irritated when people clearly don't believe that someone of my size is happy with their body.

How many people over 40 are delighted with their bodies anyway, no matter what they weigh

Woah. Super bitchy much?

I'm in my late 20s and found that offensive.

YANBU! I'm a size 18 and happy! I've been a size 10 and just didn't feel confident or sexy then. I'm more comfortable with my size now. I exercise more too.

I didn't mean that seriously Rainbow

I was trying to point out (albiet clumsily) that lots of us are perfectly happy with our bodies, even if we don't look like 19 year old supermodels. Similarly, lots of us just get on with life while recognising that we don't look amazing - it doesn't bother us.

If the OP says she is happy with her body, then I believe that she is happy. I wouldn't presume that she is lying to others, or to herself, and is secretly desperately wishing to be slimmer.

I don't believe you that you can touch the floor from standing. Do your boobs not get in the way?

You can't say that a size 18 isn't healthy.

If you're 5'11" or taller and a size 18, you're hardly obese. And I say this as a 5'10" size 10er.

Size 22, yes, is unhealthy. But you simply cannot blanket say that a size 18 is unhealthy.

Sorry your thread has gone this way LEM. Should have expected it really, it's a damn shame.

I believe you when you say you are happy with your size. Happiness is a state of mind after all and no-one on this thread has the right to decided whether you are happy or not. How YOU feel is what is important. It's a bit ridiculous of people to think they can judge your happiness better than you can - how arrogant.

I also believe you when you say you can walk and cycle for miles, and your flexibility. Being fat doesn't mean you cannot be fit, just as being thin doesn't mean you are healthy.

I am limited as to what I can do exercise wise, but I swim a mile a day when the pool is open, walk the dogs 3 times a day for never less than 3 miles and not only can I place my palms on the floor from standing, but I can still do the splits and a backwards walkover!

No, your size may not be healthy - but that wasn't what your thread was about. It's a pity some posters feel the need to sit in judgement of you and make awful comments, but it seems that's what some women do, well, the inadequate ones anyway.

Thank fuck I mainly work with men.

People are so utterly obsessed with weight and size! This thread just proves it. If someone is happy with their size be it 10 stone or 20 stone then that's fine isn't it? Why do the people who seem to think its a crime to be large and happy seem so obsessed with trying to tell them they don't? Very weird indeed.

Life it too short to give any form of fuckage what other people think about you. If you are happy then that is all that matters. OP, I think you are DNBU.

Life it too short

Particularly if you are morbidly obese

What's your BP? What's your resting HR? Are they are in the 'healthy' range?

At the risk of scaremongering, being your size is linked with an increased risk in heart disease, diabetes and certain cancers (something I'd be particularly concerned about if you drink as much as you suggest). I'm sure you think it doesn't apply to you, but statistics suggest otherwise (and I'm sure nobody would believe an anorexic who claimed she wasn't at risk: AFAIK you're the same, just the other end of the ahem scale).

Are you going to continue to get bigger as you get older? Where's it going to stop? You're clearly doing something wrong if you're eating and exercising as well as you claim: your body wouldn't be that size if you were. It might never be a size 10, but it wouldn't be so large.

Are you eating enough to lose weight?? If you're really restricting, your body will be clinging onto fat for dear life, meaning that any exercise you do is nigh pointless from a fat burning perspective...

Just because you're happy with your body doesn't make it healthy.

I know you can feel happy and beautiful whatever your weight but it is unhealthy to be very overweight. Yes, there will be a million 'examples' of Great Aunt Bess who lived to 100, was fit as a fiddle and was very overweight but, statistically, it is life limiting and unhealthy.
Loosing weight is bloody hard work but, along with stopping smoking it is something everyone should do if they want to lead a long and healthy life.

If someone is happy with their size be it 10 stone or 20 stone then that's fine isn't it?

Er, no. Not if your heaving rolls of lard are spilling over onto my seat on an aeroplane.

MrsWolowitz The only exercise I ever did was partying!

Am loving the GP-health-lectures on BMI etc! (BMI has recently been shown to be a mathematically incorrect model - something I have always thought instinctively being big-boned and curvy myself, but hehho I'm not a government scientist/diet guru/militant, so obviously I know jack?)

Seriously, if OP is happy with her body, that's a major achievement in itself. She sounds healthy, happy and energetic .

Being significantly overweight is a huge health issue. That is not an opinion it is a undeniable fact.

I also believe you when you say you can walk and cycle for miles, and your flexibility. Being fat doesn't mean you cannot be fit, just as being thin doesn't mean you are healthy

I would be surprised at that. Sport and fitness is all about power to weight ratio. Any excess adipose tissue is always a drawback. You don't get many Olympic athletes who are overweight. Excess weight also puts strain on your joints and makes you more injury prone.

It also tends to raise heart rate, blood pressure and perspiration levels, none of which help movement.

Why does it always have to "fat" or "thin"? Some people are just slim.

The worst comment I ever had when out running was from a largish woman, perhaps a size 20 or above. She shouted something abusive about the size of my backside as I ran past. I'm the same height as the OP and a size 8 and 52-53kg, and if I put weight on, it slows my 10k time right down, its very accurate. Sadly, at 5 feet 2, no-one could ever describe me as thin, thought I suspect if I were, my running times would be even faster.

The OP never gave her weight. She is a size 22 top/18 bottom and how "healthy" that is will depend on a person's frame, build e.g. curvy, height, and general health, diet and level of activity/exercise.

I think some people are missing the point anyway. Certainly, looking at all the patronising, bossy and negative comments she is getting here I can see how annoying it must be for OP to get the same in real life, still, they say happiness is best revenge .

Gaining weight in your 40s is not an absolute gospel truth of the law of nature. I am in my 40s, 5'2" (like the OP) and am still a size 4-6, and still can wear clothes from my late teenage years. My body is not exactly the same as then, but I am still pert and toned (still sporting a 6 pack). I don't starve myself and eat and drink what I want (although my tastes do tend to be moderate). I am definitely not skeletal, so I can only image what I would look like at a size 22. However, YANBU to have a positive sense of self, which really should have little to do with what our bodies look like and more on having a positive attitude towards life.

Shouldn't the OP just remove the mirena coil and use a different form of contraception?

Unami !!! You obviously think over 40 is 'other worldly' my un pregnant body at 45 ish is size 10 and although not delighted with it I am still in a bikini and quite proud!!

I'm in my forties and I'm actually happier with my body than I've ever been! I have given myself permission to be 5'2" and I have realised that I'm not obliged to be taller, I'm not contractually expected to fulfil the role of being taller. but but but and this is the bit I want you to talk me through LEM95, HOW do you tune out those messages from the media, from society, from personal experiences. Because it has taken me 20+ years to get to this point. I'm not fat, I'm in the middle of the bmi range and exercise a lot so presumably some of that weight is muscle and I think I am heavier than I look like I am, and yet, even intellectualising it all, the world around me, and the genes I inherited, and the age I am, and the body I got - and the fact that it has NEVER let me down, it conceived, bore, delivered, breastfed, became fit again - even with that knowledge it is still an ongoing process I think, fighting to make sure that those messages from the outside world don't become internalised. I know that when I do hear critical voices in my head they are interanalised messages from the criticism of any woman in society that is not like a model. Over the years it is an enslaught. How do you tune out those voices? this is a serious question.

Sport and fitness is all about power to weight ratio

...don't forget CV, which impacts moreso on BP and heart rate.

My CV fitness is excellent, therefore so is my resting heart rate. If I was able to run (which I'm not any more) I would probably not be as fast as I was, but would be able to go further thanks to my CV fitness. OP states "i walk for miles and cycle distances that make the face pullers making faces and declaring that they can't do that" - That is probably what she means.

Determination is also a factor. Some people just give up when they are knackered, some push through.

LtEveDallas more weight makes your heart rate go up when you move, or exercise. Your body has to work harder to propel itself into motion.

I don't know what kind of training you do, but as a competitive runner, we train to enable our heart rates to go high during competition. In an endurance race, you would want your heart rate to be lower than in a 3000m for example.

If your heart rate is high just to propel yourself forwards, you are going to tire sooner no matter how low your resting heart rate is.

I always got told by a fellow runner something very useful - do a paced run carrying a small 5kg weight in each hand, and see what effect is has on you. That's the effect that carrying an extra 10kg in weight has on the effort your body requires to move.

To answer the OP's question - no of course you are not being unreasonable to be happy with your size. I think some of the comments on here are pretty harsh. If you have good self esteem and feel happy and confident at a larger size - bloody good on you.

I would like to have the same amount of self esteem - however I am caught in the trap of never being quite thin enough. Even when I have dieted down to a target weight I think I could be a bit thinner. Which is a shameful thing to have to admit to - i am a supposedly intelligent person.

On a lighter note how the HELL does anyone manage to touch their palms to the floor? I can just about touch my shins. And I have great big long orangutan arms and am pretty fit. Just not bendy evidently.