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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a size 22 and happy with my body

236 replies

Lucyellensmum95 · 27/04/2013 21:58

I am a size 22 up top - blessed in the nork department and a size 18 on the bottom.

Sometimes i get irritated because i can't find clothes in my size that i like but when i look at my body in the mirror - i like it.

As i say, my top heaviness is due to an ample bosum, which is, for my age pretty firm still.

I have been slimmer, in fact i was a size 10 when i met DP - but that was 20 years ago. Then after i had DD 7 years ago, due to illness i was a size 12 again - miserable, i hated it, my breasts shrunk and i didn't feel like me.

I do have self esteem issues but not surrounding my body.

When i tell people i am happy being the size i am they make Hmm faces at me - i find this insulting.

I am pretty fit, i walk for miles and cycle distances that make the Hmm face pullers making Shock faces and declaring that they can't do that. I am extremely flexible and can touch the floor next to my toes wth the flats of my hands without bending my knees

I would be happy to be a size 18 on top and a size 16/14 down below but no slimmer, thanks. I would probably prefer that size but for no reasons other than health reasons - i eat a healthy diet but probably drink a little too much Wine I also have flabby thighs which need sorting out, but othe than that, when i look in the mirror, i like what i see.

I'm 5'2"

I am a very sexual person and i FEEL sexy and my DP certainly thinks i'm sexy.

As i say, i have self esteem issues but they are no way associated with my body imagine. I don't like my face so much.

AIBU to be irritated when people clearly don't believe that someone of my size is happy with their body.

OP posts:
likeitorlumpit · 28/04/2013 22:35

hmm ive got thunder thighs but hey im as happy as larry . yep can see what you mean :)

TheSecondComing · 28/04/2013 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plinkyplonks · 28/04/2013 22:40

Have any of you actually read through this thread? Seriously, I honestly do not think the majority of posters have been harsh to you.

If you don't want to hear what people have to say, why post on AIBU? Were you only after flattery or affirmation from other posters?

Going through your original post

"Sometimes i get irritated because i can't find clothes in my size that i like but when i look at my body in the mirror - i like it.

"I am pretty fit..."

"I would be happy to be a size 18 on top and a size 16/14 down below but no slimmer, thanks. I would probably prefer that size but for no reasons other than health reasons - i eat a healthy diet but probably drink a little too much I also have flabby thighs which need sorting out, but othe than that, when i look in the mirror, i like what i see."

"As i say, i have self esteem issues but they are no way associated with my body imagine. I don't like my face so much.

AIBU to be irritated when people clearly don't believe that someone of my size is happy with their body."

So just to clarify, your so happy with your body but you get irritated when you can't get clothes your size, you acknowledge that you could be slimmer for health reasons, you eat a healthy diet and exercise yet you are size 22 and 5'2, you don't have esteem issues yet you drink too much, post on AIBU asking for reassurance, you dislike your face and say that are parts of your body you need to fix.

Then when people point of the contradictions in your post, and give you reasons why people might find it difficult to believe you are unhappy (which is what your original post implied you wanted- you replied back all offended. I'm sorry I don't buy the victim mentality - you asked for people's opinions, people have taken the time out of their lives to respond to you and then you come back all defensive when very, very few people here have made derogatory comments about you.

Ashoething · 28/04/2013 22:47

JEwsy-are you this nasty in rl or merely a keyboard warrior? please share if you have issues that are causing you to be so vile. As i said in a previous post i am a chubster-i like how i look.i am attractive and i make an effort.why would i feel the need to lie about this to a bunch of strangers on the net?

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2013 22:48

I've been a size 22. When I was, I used to run for the train most mornings and never keeled over. I also never had any problem fitting on a plane seat, or a seat on public transport. You would have to be a LOT bigger (I'd say above a size 30) to have those sort of problems.

LessMissAbs · 28/04/2013 22:48

Its just the sheer level of self-obsession and attention-seeking, excused because the OP is over a certain size, and anyone who points this out must be attacking women. But of course if a size 10 woman was writing similar about how sexy she was and firm and flexible, she would be attacked for being vain.

Its best I think not to pay too much attention to what you look like, but how well your body functions. I'm that keen on anyone who tells you how wonderful they are, but I do admire women who achieve things, whether that be being healthy and fit, having children, surviving serious disease, running a fast marathon, etc, but to be acclaim for simply existing is a tad irritating I find.

currentbuns · 28/04/2013 22:49

Personally, I couldn't feel happy or comfortable being that size, I had an insight into what it's like to be larger post-dc and found it very unsettling. Perhaps others feel similarly and simply cannot imagine being happy about carrying that much extra weight.
Each to their own, however. If op is genuinely happy as she is, good for her. I don't think it's necessarily possible to disprove her contentions by reading between the lines of her posts.

likeitorlumpit · 28/04/2013 22:49

good post plinkyplonks cant argue with that ...... well im sure someone will :)

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 28/04/2013 22:55

"Blessed in the nork department" doesn't sweeten the deal for me.

One of the things I like best about being slim is having (relatively; C-cup) small, in proportion norks.

I don't understand why anyone would want ponderous breasts.

IntheFrame · 28/04/2013 22:55

I have a friend who is a size 22 and she was unsure of her body although not unhappy generally. She has joined a website for larger ladies and got an overwhelming response from really fit men who like her type. She now feels much better about herself.
Half of the battle about what makes you happy is how others see you. If you meet lots of people who really like you, being "over"weight isn't an issue truly.

Floralnomad · 28/04/2013 23:04

intheframe that is seriously sad that your friend can only feel good about herself because some bloke fancies her . Did feminism pass her by ?

Pancakeflipper · 28/04/2013 23:04

I envy you OP with your positive body image. I am a size 12 and I hate my body image.

I feel enormous and it won't bloody turn into the body With huge amounts of exercise.

My only concern at a size 22 is for health.

Unami · 28/04/2013 23:05

Um, good for you Don Confused

Jewcy · 28/04/2013 23:08

This thread is about the OP's claim that she is happy being 5'2" and a size 22 and the fact that some of us don't believe her. What's so vile about that? Am I not allowed an opinion because I am a size 12? We don't believe she is happy because her post is riddled with disgruntled remarks about things she would like to change about herself.

I'm beginning to see, however, that being a size 12 immediately negates any discussion about obesity with someone who is corpulent.

So I shall say goodnight.

blueshoes · 28/04/2013 23:14

How can a mirena coil cause a person who eats healthily to gain so much weight. Surely the coil should be banned for that reason alone.

Unami · 28/04/2013 23:21

Again, I have to say that I think we probably all have very different ideas of what it means to 'feel happy' with our bodies. It's not necessarily being delighted and thinking we are perfect.

I don't think anyone is really in a position to tell someone else how they actually feel.

I also think that many posters here have the impression that size 18-22 is much bigger than it actually is. You won't have much fun in Topshop at that size, but it is nowhere near the sort of size where you would be uncomfortable on planes or trains, or have difficulty running for a bus, or doing normal exercise.

Lots of ladies who are above 40 (and I'm guess the OP is as she met her partner over 20 years ago) are a similar size, and no one gives it a second thought. How many people over 40 are delighted with their bodies anyway, no matter what they weigh.

I don't think the OP was trying to say that she looks like a 19 year old supermodel, just that she, personally, is not miserable about her own body. What's so controversial about that?

MrsWolowitz · 28/04/2013 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sh1ney · 28/04/2013 23:26

Unami - I'm one of those really old bastards of 41 and I promise you , we don't all lay down and give up.. I'm size 8/10 and mostly wear top shop clothes. 40 isn't 80 y'know

Unami · 28/04/2013 23:32

Sorry, Sh1ney but I thought that would get people's hackles up.

I'm sure that you, at 41, are perfectly happy with the way you look. But there are other people who will think, "Ooh...how can she possibly be happy looking like that? She's just kidding herself on. She might be able to get into a size 8 pair of jeans, but imagine what she looks like when she take takes them off Shock She can't pretend she wishes she was 20 years younger...." And so on.

Whereas you know that you are perfectly happy with your body, and where you are with it now.

Maybe it's the same for the OP?

Sh1ney · 28/04/2013 23:34

Oh and pumpkin sweetie - your 7 year old calling you a fat cow is certainly a wake up call. To dish out a punishment to him of such proportions that he doesn't do it again ...

Sh1ney · 28/04/2013 23:35

Oh women are never happy with their bodies! I hate my tummy for example and I'm not very toned. But - meh - I'm happy with the size and weight I am so that's something

I'm dead touchy about my age though Grin

likeitorlumpit · 28/04/2013 23:37

lol at jewcy love the word corpulent. i dont think you have said anything vile nobody has. every one is allowed an opinion in an ideal world just not on mumsnet it seems.

plinkyplonks · 28/04/2013 23:37

Except the OP has reservations about their body Unami

The OP was asking why she thinks other people don't believe her when she says she is happy - despite her contradictory statements and feelings about her own body in her opening post. And she wonders why people don't believe her :/

Unami · 28/04/2013 23:44

I don't see what's so contradictory about her OP.

There are aspects of her body and being her size that she doesn't seem to like, but overall she says she's not unhappy with her body. Maybe there are things she would like to change, but that doesn't mean that she is miserable about they way she looks.

Again, I don't see what's so controversial about that.

Maybe you think that she shouldn't be happy at size 18-22, and that's your perspective and up to you, but I don't see why you don't believe her when she says she feels the way she feels, even if that's not how you would feel at that size.

plinkyplonks · 28/04/2013 23:51

Unami - I am not judging the OP and it's up to her how she feels about her size. If you can't see how her opening post is contradictory, then we'll have to agree to disagree on that one. I don't think anyone apart from yourself have brought up her views or anyone else's views for that matter being controversial either. I'll leave it there, the OP isn't happy with the responses she's received.